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March 2017

TOTCB Chapter 6 ‘Red Shoes’

Ergh, ever have one of those days where your head just feels packed with sand and you haven’t even been drinking and coffee makes it worse haha?

Don’t really have much to blather about today really, GS2 trucking along, my publishing deal is working out ok. I was checking out my publisher and he’s a right wing christian so I was like ‘phew’ I can’t afford to have another enemy at this point haha. It’s not that I hate left wing people, it’s just I’m abrasive as fuck and I love to troll and trigger people and leftwing people just don’t go in for that. So if I was constantly offending him that would be a problem.

The ideas for the Dexter continuations/spinoff are firing on all cylinders, I was in the shower just writing on my rainfall showerhead haha. It’s really spinning together in my head, it’s falling in to place and it’s almost a problem because I’m like a dog trying to chase two cars now haha. Like I’m balls deep into GS2 right now but now I’m looking over to this like ‘Mmm’, mainly because it’s like that sort of fun but with the serious edge to it like LCYE. It’s not a dumb zombie novel but could be just as fun as one to write.

Some people are reading this and going like ‘why aren’t you writing it down?’. My process isn’t really like that, if I wrote down what was in my head right now it would just be a mess. It’s like giving birth to a baby, you can’t rush it, it needs to be a solid fully realised mass before it can born or it wont be whole. I need to hammer it out and forge the idea before I can start shaping it into something real.

I mentioned before I didn’t really get that much positive feedback from The one who came back, and honestly that’s bad from something that could be standalone, or it could be a loose series. Porter Caraway is a character I want to keep. But I’ve worked out a deal with my original editor Nat to do a chapter by chapter edit on the cheap and I’ll probably just give it out as a free novel through my mailing list because I owe you people more free shit and it’s not a bad novel, it’s just not my best I guess. It was rushed over nano, but it still has something. So there’s that.

Check out the unedited excerpt below and you can always read the whole raw thing on inkitt with the link below.

See you…

Red Shoes

–

Peggy thought if thy gave him a normal routine, he’d snap back eventually and become the kid they knew. So for a few days he got up he had breakfast, he had lunch and dinner, he watched movies, he went for a drive. A steady diet of normalcy, easing him out of his shell.

She had Brandon take him for a drive to a storage locker close to their old place. It was a large concrete block of a place, filled inside with red sliding shutters packed in tight. Like some kind of maze.

They found their locker. Brandon opened the padlock on the big red sliding shutter with a key from his jeans pocket.

“We locked up most of your stuff here when we moved. Momma didn’t have the heart to take it back, it was too hard for her, you know.” Brandon forced a smile and lead Johnny into the musty storage locker.

It wasn’t that full, it was a smaller box locker about six by six. There was a mattress on it’s side with a large brown stain in the middle, probably from damp in the locker.

Boxes, lots of boxes, some of them looked a little soggy.

“Hey why don’t we split up and see what we can find?” Brandon said smiling, like it was a game.

“Ok” Johnny said.

He smiled like a big brother. Johnny seemed like he was getting more comfortable talking to people. It was reassuring to hear his voice louder even if it was in a different accent. Brandon put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. He breathed in and patted him on the back and ruffled his hair a little knocking off his baseball cap. Johnny was still wearing his dark glasses inside so there was more work to be done but there was some progress. Some light at the end of the tunnel.

Johnny opened a box that said ‘Johnny’s stuff’ on it.

“We kept everything the cops didn’t take, you know, for evidence”.

Johnny went through the box that was mostly pictures and little toys. Army men and gun shaped things, nothing really stood out except one picture.

It was a picture of Johnny before he disappeared. He was standing under a tree with a man who’s head was cut off by the top of the picture. Even though he couldn’t see his face he knew he hadn’t met this person yet. He couldn’t remember him from any of the other pictures he’d been shown.

He looked at himself in the picture and the expression was odd. He looked sick or sad or scared, and was fingering a strange necklace or pendant hanging around his neck.

Brandon stuck his chin over Johnny’s shoulder as he put a box of moth balls down.

“Oh that’s your older brother Jack” He got a little closer and pointed directly at the necklace. “He bought you that weird necklace thing you’d never take off. You were always into that aliens and ghosts and voodoo crap as a kid, dungeons and dragons, you know.” He paused and cocked his head for a moment as if he was struggling to fill the silence “I mean what kid isn’t? Some of the neighbours thought you were abducted by aliens” He laughed.

Brandon got a little sad as she took the picture off of him. “This was taken a couple of days before you went missing.” He gave it back to him and Johnny studied it.

Johnny took a closer look at the necklace in the picture. It was some kind of bird. Maybe an owl, standing on top of a circle with a five pointed star in it like it was the hood ornament of a car.

“Oh that’s right. You’ll probably meet Jack later today at the barbecue.” Brandon hiked up a box on his hip and turned around “It was supposed to be a surprise, Peggy’s idea. I got you out of the house for a bit and we have a little welcome home barbecue. Get you re-acquanited with some of the family.” He walked towards the entrance. “Come on, help me to the car with some of this stuff and we’ll see how it’s going.”

Johnny nodded. He put the picture back in the box and closed it up then picked it up and walked to the entrance of the locker. Brandon slid the door closed.

–

0

Zombiecast Podcast Appearance and other stuff.

Yoyoyo, we authors now.

Yes, I stayed up past my bedtime last night/this morning, I know right, so hard so sad. I’m fucking with you, I’m pretty much nocturnal because I’m a neckbeard loser who lives in his mother’s basement and has no life other than making skyrim orc waifu’s haha.

So I was allowed to go on this lovely show on the allgames network called zombiecast, I’ll leave a link to it down below and yeah it was a lot of fun. I kinda sound like a zombie and we spend a lot of time talking about my shitty english accent haha but we get some zombie stuff in there. They let me plug my crap, I kinda didn’t do a great job of selling Green Sunday but you know we shit talked a little bit, I mean the book isn’t even out so really I just wanted to spurg about zombies and dumbshit like that, talk nonsense, get some bantz going and honestly I could have been on for a lot longer it was really fun and easy.
I was pretty nervous actually but then we got into it and it was very conversational and the hosts were very laid back and chilled out, so it was just a lot of fun. Also the author of American Revenant my good virtual friend (haha) the honourably John L Davis the fourth was in the chat laughing at how fucking stupid I sound haha. Of course he blew us all away with stories of his book landing in the hands of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, that’s Negan. Negan is reading his book, what a jammy git. I mean that’s so cool, I’m really happy for him and bless him the guy works hard he really deserves it, much more than me anyway haha.

So yeah that happened and Normi said I could come back on when the book launches, which is definitely something I’ll do and she wants a signed copy which is doable, now if she can get it to Negan, wouldn’t that be nice haha? I’d honestly prefer it goes to the guy who plays Trevor in GTAV haha I love that guy. If anyone would like my writing it’d be that guy haha.

Ok down to business, the business of updates. Been chugging along with the sequel to GS and it’s going pretty well, it’s a joy to write about halfway through now depending on whether it shapes up to about 80k or under like last time. It’s just such a guilty pleasure for me because honestly I feel ashamed to write zombie fiction I feel ashamed to tell people who aren’t fans of that stuff about it because it’s dumb it’s not real. I really want to use it as launching pad for my serious/semi-serious dexter style novels. But it’s like being between a rock and a hard place because I love writing it but I know it’s basically trash most normies would snub but I think the people that enjoy this stuff might love it so I do it for them and for me.

The contract is sorted for Muddy Boots, still working on the cover, and the new edits so when that’s all done we’ll be moving on to launch schedules, got quite a bit to do in the mean time, but we should have physical copies audiobooks, the whole nine yards, I’m really excited, how could I not be?
Still doing the review copy shenanigans and of course signing up to my mailing list will bank you free ebooks, I say books, it means one book, the same book haha. When I finish my other novella, I’ll switch to that, how does that sound, or I might just give away my nano novel haha.

And here’s the link to the episode I’m in, I’m like an hour and I don’t think you can skip so *raspberry noise*, honestly it’s a great show, if you like walking dead you should definitely give it a listen.

Zombiecast

amrev

You lucky bastard haha.

See you…

0

LCYE Chapter 15 ‘A World of Madness’

Hola seniors and senioritas,

Had like a minor backlash from my comments about camwho- I mean cosplay girls. No but seriously, I dunno, I guess I was in a bad mood or something, when am I not amirite haha? And my disdain for normies and facebook admins had reached its peak boil. I just can’t stand these little internet nazis thinking they can tell me what I can say and when I can say it and how. Like this facebook group is their own little dictatorship, it’s just fucking infuriating talking to these idiots so I just block them when they message me with these fucking snide little diatribes about how I posted on the wrong day or I didn’t ask their permission first. Fuck you, I’ll post whenever I goddamn like, don’t like it kick me out of the group, there are only like a million more groups without you controlling them.
I just can’t stand these people with this inflated sense of self-importance. People who have zero power over their own lives using what little power they have on the internet to police others, it’s as Donald Trump would say ‘Sad’.
But anyway that’s my spiel and I’m sticking to it, still think cosplay is shit and the people who do it are just fat attention whores and you can’t copyright a picture you took of your own fat ass. Honestly that post got shitloads of traffic so maybe more of that cancer is useful.

I guess my personal life turning to shambles just has me on edge and anyone who sticks their neck out is about to get cut in one way shape or form.

Anyway that bullshit out-of-the-way, gonna get into some updates. So the contract with Muddy boots is signed, haha he can’t turn back now, totally stuck with me haha. What does that mean, well the book is going back for another edit, hopefully my cover cost will be compt, which would be nice. Not sure I’d do anything productive with the money, maybe buy another knife haha.

That’s underway, should have a release schedule soon, more people on my mailing list, kinda surprised by how steady it’s building and honestly it’s all due to the awesome cover Mike did for me. It looks spectacular in a thumbnail.

In other news people seem to love the book that or they’re polite enough to lie to me haha. Had lots of positive feedback, should amount to a lot of nice reviews, I’m also going on a zombie themed podcast soon, so that should be fun.

GS2 is coming along nicely, kinda feel like I’m rushing it a little but out of just excitement really, feel like a dog chasing rabbits. I just want to get into it and it’s shaping up really nice. You know you’re enjoying writing when it makes you smile even writing it. I might have bitten off more than I can chew characterwise but I think I differentiated them and made them giant fucking stereotype caricatures enough to make them stand out and not have them just blur into one. But fuck I’m having fun, currently lying in a hospital bed which is my coach being treated for Xcom 2 addiction, the struggle is real.

Other than that and my crippling loneliness, alls good on the western front oh and the postman just brought me my polish gwent decks, pisser.

And here, completely unconnected is an excerpt of the penultimate chapter of a novella you should have already in e-copy if you’ve signed up to my mailing list LADIES CLOSE YOUR EYES. If you wanna check out the full thing head on over to my inkitt page and if you want the full edited version sign up to the mailing list to get a free copy for your ebook reader.

Thanks for checking in.

See you…

A World of Madness

–

There was an annoying buzzing sound rattling the real wood bedside table of the Thunderbird lodge.

Some stirring under the covers.

A brown naked arm stretched out to pick the phone off the bedside table and retracted back under the warmth of the covers.

“Special agent Harriet Jageur speaking” A muffled voice under the covers said.

A few moments of silence passed as she dazedly listened to the rushed voice on the other end.

“Thank you for informing us, we’ll be in touch”

As soon as the call ended Harriet launched out of the bed flinging the covers off her nude body.

“Shit fuck shit!”

Con lay exposed under the tossed over covers naked in Harri’s bed awoken by the immediate sense of immediacy.

“What is it?”

“Banville’s been murdered in the fucking interrogation room! Mirra got away in his car, he could be in the next fucking state by now!” Harri spoke as she faced away from him quickly putting on a bra and panties that were tossed out the front of the bed. She sprang for the cupboard’s and started to dress as fast as humanly possible.

“So what now?” Con lay struck in her bed.

“Get dressed”

“We need to slow down and think this through. We have no idea where’s he’s going. There’s gotta be an APB already out on Banville’s car, they’ll turn him up.”

“Get dressed!”

“And go where?”

Harri took in a harsh rasping breath and looked at the floor, she tensed her jaw and her eyes got moist. “This is my fault”. She paused and heaved a few more long wet breathes. “I opened his cuffs, I was too fucking caught up in all this hoodoo voodoo spooky bullshit and now someone is dead because of me! Because I forgot to lock a pair of fucking cuffs”

“This is not your fault. We need to be smart, what do you wanna do just barrel out the door and follow the sirens? You think he left us a trail of breadcrumbs?”

Harri was quiet for a moment. She closed her eyes and a few nervous tears leaked out as she stood looking a mess with her clothes hastily assembled. Buttons skew and her skirt on backwards.

An hour later she was changed into a dressing gown. Her hair pinned back sitting on the bed, her back against the back board. Calm after a steady application of coffee. A laptop on her knees as she checked Mirra’s bank records they’d had subpoenaed the moment he was taken into custody.

Con sat at the writing desk with a pair of pyjama bottoms on with no top checking flights in and out of the state and any activity in Mirra’s credit cards.

“Anything?” Harri said without looking up.

“Not much, you?”

“I have something, two flights purchased on his credit card. Two seats premium economy to Sacramento, he paid for a room in some motel down there.”

“Doesn’t seem like much”

“Not on its own” Harri looked up scornful. But then there’s a return journey with only one seat booked.”

“So you think he planned a little vacation and then what? Maybe she got sick and had to take the bus back, maybe they had a fight and he left her there? It doesn’t explain how he could kill her there, if that’s what you’re suggesting and get the body back”

“These days’ airlines weigh and record the weight of your luggage so they can charge you more, especially with budget airlines. His luggage going coming back was almost ninety pounds heavier”

“That’s a lot of souvenirs. It’s a cute theory but it could be anything. Maybe he was picking something up from craigslist, a ninety-pound paperweight.” He looked back and gave her a silly grin. “Doesn’t the airport have sniffer dogs?”

She gave him a narrow eyed look and chupsed. “They do” She paused and exhaled as she looked down at her laptop “For bombs” She took a sip of her coffee. “She’s not a bomb”.

Mr Robot season 2 review… kinda

Ok so I’m doing the thing, you know I didn’t watch the season, not the whole season and the ony reason I’m writing this is because I hated it because if I liked it there wouldn’t be a review. The reason being everything I liked about it was just the fightclub stuff because I loved the book and tolerated the movie haha. So I couldn’t really say anything new about it and now looking back at the first season from the perspective of the second season I see what I liked about it was its potential and as you can guess from me even writing this review, that potential was wasted.

So here goes, enough preamble nonsense haha. Erm what can I say? I guess I should start with season one maybe squeeze in a short review for that since I couldn’t be bothered to do that since I didn’t feel strongly enough the first time. The first season was good, it was kind of like a mix of dexter and fight club, two things I really really like as you may be able to tell by the name of my fucking blog haha.
You have this crazed main character, unreliable narrator, uniquely gifted, it even started with him using his evil powers for the good of catching a peado, just like the first episode/book of dexter. Although Dexter’s solution was more final, obviously. The main character of Mr Robot just calls the police haha.

I liked the first season, it was unpredictable in its predictability. Because the whole imaginary friend thing got old as soon as fight club trotted it out and now its the most obvious twists since a man in a drag. So having it as the twist was almost fresh by the sheer fact of its ripeness in pop-culture.
All together the first season flowed well, it was edgy and fun and hip, a little too ‘progressive’ if you ask me. A little occupy wallstreet nonsense snuck in but all together it stayed on the straight and narrow as far as politics were concerned which I liked. I don’t want to be watching a show I like and then have some ham fisted agenda shoved down my throat when I’m eating porridge.

But I think what intrigued me most of all when I finished season one was that there was a season two, because it seems pretty wrapped up by season one. He wins essentially, starts his little revolution, gets his revenge etc and it peaked my interest that they had more to show me so I actually saved this show for later, chewing on some black sails and that other one, the one with the nazis.

I finally started watching season two and I’m struck by how little is going on, its so slow its barely alive. The action, what little there is of it is nearly pointless, put there for shock value alone. The story, what story? Elliot is mental, we got that, E corp is evil, we got that, that swedish guy’s wife is nuts, we well and truly got that. Other than that there’s nothing going on, its just retreading ground. Languishing on Elliot’s schizophrenia and then it turns more into a teens edgy art project than an actual tv show.
I think the problem is entirely that they let Sam Esmail write and direct every episode, this man obviously lives on a steady diet of his own farts and thought his pretentious ass could carry a season on its own and boy was he wrong. This show has gone from being pretentious to full on building a tree house in its own ass.

There’s just zero substance, its all just pretentious garbage but the funnies part is the emperor’s new clothes quality it creates in people because I was looking at the reviews and needless to say everyone on rotten tomatoes is falling over themselves to give it the highest rating possibly ‘Genius’ ‘Outstanding’. These brown nosers are so afraid of being accused of not getting this guys teen edgy art project they’ll just bend over but. And there is a big but, there’s a divide on the amazon review section, very little in the way of middle ground. Lots of idiots falling over themselves to tell people ‘they get it’, they’re one of the special people that sees Esmails vision. On the other hand there’s a huge subsection of people calling it out for the utter mundane dross it actually is.

And whats more they all say the same thing as me ‘I loved the first season but…’. So these aren’t just butt hurt assholes who wanted to hate it, they like me wanted to love season two, I saved it to watch later I had such high hopes for it. But the story isn’t there, the characters aren’t there, nothings happening and the characters are just getting irritating. That blonde girl, she was just annoying in season one now she’s full blown ass cancer and they added this female fbi agent who’s whole character seems to be fapping to smut chatrooms and is just generally mary sued in every regard.

I gave this show a chance, I watched til about five episodes in and then I started checking review to see if anyone agreed with me or it picked up later. I didn’t want to waste anymore of my time if it just carried on going nowhere. And apparently the whole season is just filler essentially so I was like ‘nah’. And what’s more Esmail is doing the same thing, writing and directing the next season too. I’m amazed its getting a third season, can this ship sail on pretentiousness alone, I guess we’ll see.

Honestly, I’m just let down, I loved the show, the cast, the writing, the art direction and now they let Esmail off the leash its just completely gone off the rails and every move it makes shows me more and more that he kind of blew his load with season one and there really isn’t much more to show.

So I wont be watching anymore and I wont even bother with season three but you know as lonely losers like me are prone to say; ‘There are plenty more shows in the sea’ haha.

See you…

 

0

Green Sunday Chapter 17 ‘Fatal Hesitation’

Hey there,

Back again for some of that theatrical writterly shit haha.

Ok right off the bat if anyone complains that I’m not crediting the cosplayer for my header image, you can just blow me because you can’t copyright ass and titties ok haha. Cosplay is cancer anyway and I fucking forgot where I got this picture from. Fuck cosplay ok haha.

So what’s new? Barreling ahead with the sequel for GS for a start, I’m almost amazed by how insane it is. Like I’m almost afraid to edit it, because it’s just like the ravings of a lunatic and I love it. I’m afraid to change it.

But in other news, signed that contract so now I’m working on the cover in tandom with Muddy Boots and we’ll have a launch date soon enough, which is cool.

I do this horrible thing where I look back on my work to try and see what it is I’ve done and right now all I have to my name is this dumb fun zombie book haha. Like all the standalone stuff is kinda ethereal at this point, it’s not there yet, it’s kinda scattered so this is really the only thing I can sink my teeth into and that sort of makes me miserable haha. But what’s good about it is it forces me to move forward in my head with the other planned series’ I have namely the Dexter homage and the weird ass fantasy series I was planning both nameless at this minute in time haha.

I think I’m ready for that, it’s weird, it’s not that I think I’m not good enough to write them, it’s like I don’t want to binge on them. I don’t want to have too much fun all at once and have nothing left at the end. I like pacing myself, writing some slock in between, like eating your vegetables before you get to desert. But I just couldn’t contain myself when it came to the sequel for GS. I was either going to rush the slock filler novella I was writing or I just had to drop it like I did and move onto a project that was more fun and just inherently immediately necessary.

This is not a job, its all passion but sometimes passions have to be measured. It’s easy to abstain, easier to binge, its hard to be balanced and think about every move you make because each step is another step closer to the grave.

Cheery motherfucker I am haha.

Anyway, wanna thank all the people signing up to my mailing list and all the people who have taken review copies and are letting me know what you think on the daily, its fantastic to hear. Mailing list will be in triple digits soon, its looking good. Love life is still in the toilet haha, but you can’t have everything all I can do is complain, its not like I’ve been looking or would even know what to do with a woman right now if I caught one haha.

Enough of that jive, got a chapter for reasons, why not? This is one of the last times this is gonna be free haha. So heres fatal hesitation, enjoy and peace out.

Fatal Hesitation

~

Pete’s fingers fidgeted, fumbling for the large knife in the decorative sheath on his hip as Dave lumbered towards him, scratching and mumbling unintelligibly.

“Itchy-scratchy…itchy.”

“This isn’t right.” Pete drew the twelve-inch blade, it seemed to take longer than he remembered “That caant said it wasn’t contagious; we’re s’posed to be immune!”

Dave stumbled forward, as if pulled at the hip by a lasso. His joints locked and released seemingly beyond his control.

“You’re alright, lad. We’ll get you looked at. Just sit down,” Pete said calmly as he slowly raised the kukri to chest height.

Dave stumbled again, then his whole body curled as if his spine were made of a Slinky. Without warning he lunged at Pete.

Pete swung, missing one beat and sinking the large knife into Dave’s shoulder. It went about six inches into meat and bone and got stuck. “FACK!” Pete screeched as he tried to push and pull the big knife out of Dave’s shoulder. Dave was unaffected; the wound didn’t even bleed, just oozed a strange, black ichor. Dave scrabbled all over Pete like an insect on its back. His fingers were all over his face and in Pete’s mouth as he pushed him to the lip of the gun store roof.

Pete reeled backwards, forcing Dave’s hand out of his face. Dave fell over him like a wave: no self-awareness, no thought, just a tidal wave of primal hunger, washing over Pete as he was swept closer to the edge of the roof.

Pete let go of the knife. He took a split second to look at the drop from the roof to the street below. It wasn’t that high. The building was just one storey; he could survive a drop. He scanned left and right, looking for something to use as a weapon. Time slowed and it took him forever just to turn his head. He looked to his left: nothing but a pile of MRE wrappers and a bed roll. To his right, his air bow. He snatched it up and locked it into his shoulder, pulling the trigger to an exasperated hissing sound.

The bolt rebounded in a dull ricochet off Dave’s jaw, leaving a ragged rip across his face. His lower jaw lost tension and fell open like a snake’s. “FACK!” Pete scrabbled for his quiver of bolts, knocking it over. Shiny black bolts spilt out all over the roof. “FAAAACCK!”

 

0

Green Sunday *More advanced review copies m’larky, Cover updates and other stuff*

Well, well, well, new cover, new day, new shoes, I’m not wearing shoes. That was just a moment, it’s gone now.

As you can see got some updates on ze font of the cover, and frankly I’m amazed how well it pulls the cover together, it’s surprising how much difference a font can make. It was missing something and now it’s not.

Oh in other news, sold the rights to GS to a small press indie pub called Muddy Boots Press, so there’s that. So technically I’m going to be professionally published, that reminds I should be signing the contract today, instead all I’ve been doing is shitposting, refraining from whining about my single status because that is not a viable strategy haha. Little tip to the guys that read this, sympathy is not a good catalyst for a relationship and thirsty doormats get walked all over. So stay cool, get used to loneliness haha.

See books, random shit and dating advice.
Ok so still giving out advanced/beta copies for reviewers, I’ll have a set day for launch after I get the contract sorted for muddy boots. Maybe a little more work on the cover, another edit would be nice, there’s also an audiobook on the cards, which is awesome.

That’s pretty much it, still shilling the free ebooks and the advanced copies, so should launch soon and I may make some cash, oh also like 20k into the sequel and having a blast frankly, it’s turning out really well and now with this publisher behind me it should roll out a lot quicker.

Check out some of the alternate covers below, you can obviously guess which one is my favourite haha.

Peace out.

0

Green Sunday review copies, so moorish.

Yes, yes I do.

Not really up to much right now, got some work happening in my house, water and power being turned off intermittently to drive me nuts but besides that and the complete smouldering wreck that is my love life everything is ok. The mailing list is growing slowly but surely. Given another month I should be well and truly into the triple digits and that’s great, don’t even have a book out officially and I already have a substantial mailing list just giving away free ebooks and review copies.

The little marketing I’ve read seems to have helped me enough to make some slow but arduous progress.
I also recently caught the eye of someone who owns a small press indie publisher type thing who obviously wants fifty percent of my royalties but honestly any leg up is a boon to me right now. I’d be willing to take a hit like that if it could be a stepping stone for me.

I’ve always told myself it’s not so much money I’m after as much as total global domination haha. And I can’t do that if only a handful of people are reading my contagious insanity, so if this guy can help me get my books in people’s hands that can only be a good thing even if I need to make a deal with the devil. Any help is welcome, come devils, come dancers, come donner and blitzen.

Oh yeah of course the point of this pointless blog, mainly just to show my infinite memeing skills, look at that header image and marvel at how culturally relevant I am. See I know mems, I make the mems, I dream the mems, I am the mems! I have all the keks. All your keks are belong to me.

Ok so seriously, had quite a few people approach me for review copies, gave them pdfs which apparently shitty for kindles so I changed it to a mobi file which I had to send them all again. Looking into paying a service to find me more launch day reviewers. Actually I think I’ll do that today.

No movement as yet on the cover, we’re still messing with fonts and the back cover and the spine of the book, should have further updates next week.

As always if you want a review copy just go to my contact page and find me on facebook or twitter, not minds because you can’t send files on there for some reason, or just send me your email address.

Join my mailing list for a free ebook, that’s Ladies Close Your Eyes not Green Sunday, you don’t have to review LCYE haha, it’s just free for joiners.

If you just join my mailing list you won’t get the review copy because I can’t send everyone on my mailing list a review copy because no one will buy it when it comes out haha. So just hit me up directly and you’ll get one. You have to contact me directly so I can make sure we stay in contact and you post the review when it’s needed.

Enough rambling, planning a few more reviews of shows maybe, mostly just psyched about writing more GS2 and planning my next series, forming in my head. Weirdly another female lead show, just a coincidence I assure you haha.

Peace out people, see you spacecowgirls…

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The White Falcon: Book One of the Overlord Saga by Blutgreen Hazeldine – Review

(Yes I googled ‘white falcon’ for the header image)

Not a big sci-fi guy but it carries itself.

Honestly sci-fi to me just goes over my head. There’s just so many words I just glance at or skim past because it’s filled with words that mean nothing outside of the context of the world it’s in. So the prologue put me off as a reader because I’m just like; ‘Woah that is a word salad of stuff I’ll never remember’.
But the style is sticking close to star wars and I can see how that fits sci-fi but in any other genre that’s telling when you should be showing, it’s a word dump. It’s straight up spoonfeeding, here have some backstory. It would be totally hacky in any other story but sci-fi.
It’s why fantasy and sci-fi put me off, you have to dig through so much crap to get to the actual story which is always about people, all stories are when you boil it down. It’s about love or revenge, it just depends how you dress it up and this is dressed up very well.
The writing is strong, the voice is there, the dialogue is good. It all strikes me as very professional and something I wouldn’t be surprised at doing well on shelves as an authentic book release.
So despite my ranting, I think if you like sci-fi, this is a solid piece.

If you wanna check it out, head over to the link provided.

The White Falcon

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TOTCB – Chapter 5 ‘Stranger than kindness’

Bonjourno, mi amigos. Probably butchering that, how many languages was that? I dunno, fuck I’m so talented, all that multi-lingual stuff haha. Yes I’m joking, no I’m not that narcissistic, pretty close though.

Ok so what’s new?
Not much, just being doing the day job thing as of late, picked up an addiction to Gwent (Google it). May get fired for playing it at work, well that would solve that problem wouldn’t it haha.

I got some writing done after a snaffoo with some of my software. But it’s all hunky dory now and I’m away, and honestly, I’m having too much fucking fun writing this book, honestly, wtf? Why is it this fun to write this much nonsense. It’s like writing it is reading it for the first time because I have like the outline and the characters but I don’t really know how it’ll take shape other than that. I don’t know how the characters are going to interact, or what they’re going to say or how they’ll act, what they’ll do or how they’ll do it.
It’s all flowing out of me like a stream of consciousness, like I type it and there it is. Like it’s not even coming from me and its fun. I’m really enjoying how it’s taking shape, it’s like a puzzle slotting into place and the nature of the book itself is fun. It’s almost like a portmanteau movie with all these different characters, different worlds colliding.

Yeah so that’s it, just really enjoying it, can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing yet but fuck it, better than writing some miserable crap that makes me want to hang myself haha.

Remember if you want a free review copy of the first book, hit me up on twitter or facebook and if you’re on my mailing list you get a free ebook just for joining.

Peace out people.

Oh yeah also here’s a chapter of my last book that everyone seems to hate haha fucking nano, yes I am blaming you haha.

Stranger than kindness

~

On the plane Johnny seemed nervous and Peggy could tell, but she couldn’t think of any reason why he would be. To her this was the end, this was what she wanted, he was home.

She turned to him as the plane slowed to a crawl, putting her hand on his and she said “Are you ready to go home Johnny?”

Johnny didn’t react at first, as if hearing his own name was so foreign to him. He could hardly believe where he was, what he chose, there was no going back now.

He smiled and nodded.

They got off the plane and there reporters with cameras waiting for him asking him questions he didn’t answer. They just pushed past them into the arrivals lounge and they didn’t follow them.

She held his hand, he was shy and she suddenly felt a shard of ice hit her heart and she thought what it might be.

She turned to him and looked at him and he looked away.

“Johnny, are you afraid Momma’s not gonna love you anymore or something?”

He didn’t say anything, he mouthed something and furrowed his brow.

“You don’t need to worry, you’re home now. We’ve missed you, we’ve all missed you, but it’s going to be ok now, I promise”

She lead him out of the arrivals area and through passport control and to get their luggage. He didn’t have much but that one backpack and the clothes on his back.

What if there was something wrong with him? What if he’d never get better, what if the Johnny she knew was gone, never to return.

She shook off those feelings and lead him out to the parking lot.

Still he was nervous, he couldn’t stop moving. Bouncing around almost, going to the bathroom a lot and watching people and watching Peggy. He was always watching her for some reason. Trying to pick up cues from her. Like he’d forgotten how to be him and somehow watching her would help him remember who he was.

Who he was dependent on her expectation at this point.

Peggy’s husband Brandon with his camcorder. Their son Carl and daughter Sarah. Johnny and Peggy’s mother Angela had all loaded up in Carl’s Lincoln to go get Johnny and his sister.

They waited at the end of a long tiled windowless hallway. It was white with white rails along the side, slightly bluing tiles stuck on the walls. Brandon started filming as he saw people passing them by. Lots of people, young, old, fat, skinny, men and women but none of them were Peggy and Johnny.

More and more people passed, more people than seemed possible. With each passing it seemed less and less likely that they would come out. For a moment it seemed like a bad dream, they’d lost one child and sent another to find him only to lose that one too. The big bad world just swallowed them up. With each passing stranger their hearts sank.

Until finally Peggy emerged carrying her one duffel bag, she looked warn out but happy. Her hair was a messy, probably from sleeping on it. She wore a t-shirt and jeans, her face looked content like she’d just been around the world and seen all seven wonders in one shot. She saw her family waiting their huddled together. Anxious, excited, a little fear there, fear of the unknown.

They were the only ones left, the last off the plane.

~

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