It feels so silly
I find myself missing you
forgetting the bad
You’re still in my dreams
It can’t be coincidence
But I can’t tell you.
That sweet summer rain
I thought I could replace you
but there’s no one else.
First thing I want to do is just register my disdain, this movie has no right being as good as it is, NO RIGHT!
It certainly has no right to be the best movie I’ve seen so far this year. I mean, I’m as surprised as anyone. I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this movie, it’s probably good that my expectations were so low and that the last movie I watched was captain marvel which almost made me stop believing there would ever be a good movie again.
I mean captain marvel was barely a movie, it was just a really fast slide show of stuff happening with splosions. And Shazam wasn’t much better.
So how does a movie about a talking yellow electric rat make them both look like garbage in comparison, how is that even possible? Also goes without saying this is better than deadpool 2 hands down. This is probably the best Ryan Reynolds movie I’ve ever seen.
It’s simple, it was an actual movie. It wasn’t political, it wasn’t a spectacle comic book movie, it was just a movie. It had a basic three act structure giving equal weight to be beginning the all important middle I rant about and the end. It wasn’t like shazam that had this bloated first and third act with no middle, it was just all ass and titties, you need some waist in the middle otherwise you’re just a blob of flesh.
You need some time in the middle where we get to know the characters and they go on a journey, if you just have a big opening and no middle we don’t care about the end.
I literally can’t think of a flaw with this movie. It looked great, the characters were great, the story was great, the acting was great. It has heart and real emotion, the emotional scenes felt real and believable and not heavy and tacked on. I genuinely cared about the characters and it nailed the tone right out of the gate. I think tone for a movie like this is really important. They could’ve gone super cartoony and silly or taken themselves too seriously. It could’ve been another dragonball or death note movie fiasco. But it nails it in the first scene. The characters are fun but they do a perfect job of making you believe this is just the regular world with pokemon.
That could’ve made or broken the movie, because if you can’t buy the idea pokemon exist or it’s done in a stupid way it just breaks the immersion and becomes cheesey. The director of this movie just gets it, he perfected the tone. We have fun and humor but we also have the emotional resonance that carries the plot.
Now the plot is nothing special, it’s sort of a hollywood plot. Guy is trying to investigate his father’s death and then mysteries happen. And I want to say the ending was predictable but it was good predictable, it was satisfying. It didn’t subvert my expectation into a pile of shit like last jedi. But it also did subvert my expectations a little bit but I saw some of the twists coming, but there were twists, more than one in a movie about pokemon.
I almost didn’t think movies like this could be made today, movies that actually feel like movies, that have that structure. It’s like film makers don’t know how to make movies anymore and they just copy everyone else around them. So maybe if this movie came out ten or twenty years ago no one would’ve cared but the sheer fact the standard for movies is lower and some brainless comic book movie can make millions and get a fresh on rotten tomatoes a movie as competent and entertaining as this is an instant classic.
What more can I say, I was entertained from beginning to end, I enjoyed every part of it. It’s my film of the year so far. Go watch this movie.
This movie was two hours long, not ninety minutes, not a hundred minutes a full one hundred and twenty minutes of my life wasted on this garbage.
Predictably I hated but it kinda reminds me that I recently watched the Shazam movie and putting them side by side really makes Shazam look a head and shoulders apart from this tripe. Shazam was a movie, it made sense, it had likeable characters with believable goals. It had a cool interesting villain, great action and it started at the fucking start.
It was an actual movie, captain marvel is just a collection of scenes used as an excuse to put nineties songs over the transitions.
The story is nonsense, I watched it yesterday and I couldn’t tell what it was about, some scientist did a thing and then things happened then powers, then evil space nazis for reason want to wipe out space refugees for threatening their borders in space.
That’s right folks, there are borders in space, that’s how fucking dumb and on the nose this movie is.
It’s trying to slip in a really bad allegory to Trump and it just falls flat, it’s not clever, it’s not new and it’s not even trying. That’s the first thing that strikes me, Shazam was trying, this movie just doesn’t give a shit.
It starts like in the middle so you don’t know how she got her powers and the villain is like her mentor and then you find out through flashbacks as her memory comes back how she got her powers and that he’s really the villain, but I didn’t care. It was just boring and pointless and because they didn’t start at the start, there’s no journey so her powers just feel unearned.
This movie would’ve been ten times better if it had started on earth and not gone for a shitty twist that wasn’t exciting or interesting. Oh no Jude Law is the bad guy not that guy that’s always hired to be the evil straight white male villain in everything. No because in this he’s actually green and he’s a refugee and he just wants a home for his family, who are aboard some space ship for some reason. None of this movie makes sense, none of the scenes are really connected, I didn’t care about any of the characters, the dialogue is some of the cringest I’ve ever heard. I actually screamed I cringed so hard at some of it. It’s so bad, I started to think this movie wasn’t made by people but some weird algorithm coded to make cringe.
The fact humans made this movie both disturbs and disappoints me.
Just seeing now Shazam was also over two hours, but ask me why I don’t care, because that movie was fun and stuff happened in it and it had a story and likeable characters.
The only positive thing I can say about it is I like how shitty the sets look, which sounds like a weird positive. But I loved how nineties it looked, it was like they took their huge budget and intentionally tried to make everything look like a nineties sci-fi channel show.
There’s literally a part on a space ship where Larson is trying to quippy and having a fight and it’s cringe, she’s terrible but my brother was like, “that set looks like a laser tag zone”. And it really did. And the scene after Fury remarks that she’s dressed like she was doing lasertag and that was a pretty funny coincidence.
I don’t know what more I can say about this, the movie is just lazy on all fronts, no one is trying, you can see the phone in the hand of nearly everyone in this movie, including the camera men and the set designers and the writers. This movie could not have been more phoned in.
And it also decides to ruin the origin story of Nick Fury for the sake of a stupid joke because that worked out so well doing that with the madurin in iron man 3. That was so funny turning this awesome character into a stupid gag. Yeah Nick Fury trusted an alien cat and that’s how he lost his eye. What’s more to say at this point? This movie is garbage and I’m beyond sick of seeing super hero movies, I just want them to go away and not come back for maybe ten years if at all.
Oh I just remembered I have to watch the dark phoenix movie, someone please kill me.
Oh god, I long for death. I literally pirated this game and I feel ripped off, I can’t imagine how pissed I would’ve been if I paid money for this garbage.
I haven’t even talked about how obnoxious Brie Larson is in general, almost unbearable in this movie and just in real life. I think what annoys me the most about this movie is how disengenuous the marketing campaign was, putting aside the whole political girl power bullshit muh stronk indapandent wamens thing they marketed this movie as if you couldn’t see Endgame without this. They made it seem like she was essential to the plot of that film and that it would be a stop gap and fill in holes and be this big important movie.
And apparently that was all bullshit since the skrull and cri aren’t even in endgame and they didn’t know what to do with capt marvel and just made her go away for most of the film to come back at the end. So it was obviously retconned bullshit, it was nonsense, it was a lie to get us to watch this garbage movie and insert muh stronk wamens into the marvel universe to try and compete with DC’s wonderwoman which was terminally ok.
But I guess dc has been like “yeah well most of our movies suck and make no money but hey we made a stronk indapandent wamens movie that was sort of less unbearable than our other movies” and the execs at marvel were losing their fucking minds. So instead of just making a scarlet witch movie or black widow movie, which would make more sense they insert this totally generic female superman into their timeline really akwardly and somehow manage to piss off everyone, the other marvel actors includesd.
And it’s not an act, they actively hate her, every interview she’s in with them they look uncomfortable and there’s this body language expert that looks at them on youtube and they actually hate her. And I understand why, she’s a fucking carpetbagger. They’ve sunk years of their lives, blood, sweat and tears into these movies and then at the last minute this chippy with a flat ass just rushes to the finish line out of nowhere and on top of that is super obnoxious and trying to politicise a movie franchise which has managed to keep itself relatively light and fun and politics free. She is the fucking turd in the punchbowl.
So yeah, don’t watch captain gender studies, save your money and time and watch shazam or literally anything else, watch your dad hang dry wall, watch a giant snail eat a carrot on youtube, do anything but watch this shit. I did it so you don’t have to, please no medals.
Yeah well that’s that I guess.
Kinda running out of content but I changed tacts recently I decided if I just wasn’t feeling Kur 2 I wouldn’t continue until I was in the mood for it and just to write something else for fun until I was up to it.
I mean there’s no point in writing more Kur if I think it’s garbage or my hearts not in it so I’ve just been working on other stuff, which will be a really shit surprise for thursday haha.
So don’t hold your breath for that. Most of my time and energy is going towards finding a new job and getting out of this shitty country and being with my daughter. Writing is on the back burner until that in the works.
Probably gonna do a Captain Marvel review because I pirated it last night and I hated it but I’m not sure I have enough to say about it because it was such a nothing burger of a film. Even by marvel standards it was just bleh, completely formless and pointless with some of the most cringe dialogue ever written. I kind of had to force myself to believe it was made by people and not an algorithm.
Anyway gotta get to proofreading that new shitty stuff I was writing instead of Kur for thursday and of course flooding barbados with my cv haha.
ExT. in space above the planet. day
We return to Rico as he falls in and out of consciousness
towards the planet in his damaged pod.
RICO! YOU’RE A SITTING DUCK KID!
YOU NEED TO BREAK AWAY FROM YOUR POD OR THEY’LL PICK UP YOUR HEAT
RICO CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Rico is barely conscious as he’s falling getting faster. He wakes up and inhales and muscle memory starts to kick in and he engages the servos in his power armor.
YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU PASS THE ATMOSPHERE OR YOU’LL BURN UP!
RICO CAN YOU HEAR ME?
The pod is entering the atmosphere and its rough, it’s hot and parts of the pod are coming off.
He clears the outer atmosphere and starts into free fall. He starts to kick his way out of his pod. The huge desert planet getting larger and coming faster at him as he falls.
Power armor voice
Proximity alert! Proximity alert!
Rico flips a release to break away the last layer of the egg pod.
The first charge pops all the straps and then the outer shell.
Now he’s actually falling, nothing separating him from the outside world, just his suit and falling with the air under his feet.
POWER ARMOR VOICE (
Brace for impact!
He looks around the terrain and sees enemies firing on his pod. Scanning the terrain he straightens up his fall into a
and then pops his first shoot and is yanked up into the air out of the sight of the enemy snipers.
He disengages the first shoot and tries to engage the second but it was damaged during the fall.
PoWER ARMOR VOICE (
Proximity alert! Brace for impact.
He falls through the roof of an alien building of some sort.
RICO, IF YOU’RE ALIVE AND CAN HEAR THIS, SCAN MY BEACON.
Enemy soldiers surround the building.
A light inside Rico’s helmet lights up his face, blood trickling down it from a head wound.
A sudden quick shape shoots from the roof of the building and in it’s wake it leaves behind a bomb.
The bomb explodes dispatching the area.
My shoot malfunctioned, snoopers say I’m on the wrong side of the river.
I have your beacon locked.
On my way to you.
son, you had me worried.
Don’t lag behind.
The explosion in the warehouse he blows up goes off again igniting some ignitable substance and knocking Rico off balance.
He squares up and keeps moving.
Rico looks at device that allows him to see the formation of his squad.
ACE REDRESS YOUR LINE
Rico, so you’re alive.
Rico hops the river in his power suit and makes his way to a sweet spot he picked out, a grouping of buildings on a hills he was planning to hit.
Rico loads and cocks a rocket launcher from his back.
ACE STRAIGHTEN UP I SAID!
PLATOON, BY LEAPFROG! FORWARD!
BY LEAPFROG! ODD NUMBERS! ADVANCE!
Rico lines of up his rocket launcher pulling the first trigger to lock and then the second trigger decimating what could be a temple or a palace.
SECOND SECTION, EVEN NUMBERS
Rico jumps clear of the building.
His power suit allows him to jump the next row of buildings as he advances.
With his free hand he uses a hand flamer to burn the buildings as he passes.
He fires another set of
bombs from the Y rack on his shoulders but passes too quickly to see their effect, just bathed in the light of the explosions against the night sky.
An enemy comes out of the building Rico is approaching they see
ODD NUMBERS ADVANCE!
Rico flames him and jumps over the building he’s coming out of.
But he’s distracted by having to act so fast and he poorly times his jump coming up too high and too wide leaving him exposed.
He attracts the attention of a group of enemies and comes down badly on the roof of a factory covered in pipes and wires.
He jumps again scattering a cluster bomb to keep them busy.
SECOND SECTION! EVEN NUMBERS
Rico sees something in the distance and gets a high vantage point to activate his snoopers. His gear is firing their payloads automatically now as he lands after each jump. He sees some sort of large building in the distance which he thinks could be their waterworks.
JOHNNY! RED! START BENDING IN THE FLANKS!
Rico activates his beacon.
SECOND SECTION CURVE IN!
SQUAD LEADER ACKNOWLEDGE!
Already on it, pick up your feet.
The home defences start to rally and Rico narrowly dodges a missile fired at him, rattling his teeth.
Then a beam is fired overhead and he stops frozen.
He jumps frantically trying to keep moving and get out of that spot landing in a crowd of enemies firing his flamer in a wide fast burst.
He moves on but his Y rack has run out of bombs and he stops to reload it with the last of his
bombs and check his position.
He flips his snoopers up to scan the battle field for something substantial to hit with his last two A rockets.
He fires off into the distance there are a series of unidentified explosions above so Rico decides not to risk a jump.
He takes out a beam knife and cuts through the buildings instead cutting and blasting through the buildings.
Rico unintentionally breaks into a huge room full of aliens. There’s a pause as neither knows how to react.
It seems to be full of civilians taking shelter but one scared skinny takes a shot at him, hitting his armor.
Rico is rattled and jumps for cover instinctively leaving them behind a little present.
The bomb he throws
in their own language.
I am a thirty second bomb!
Twenty nine seconds,
Rico doesn’t stick around he jumps through the roof of the building and gets a bearing on his formation.
CIRCLE IS CLOSED, BUT THE BEACON ISN’T DOWN YET.
MOVE UP SLOWLY, MILL AROUND.
CAUSE A LITTLE MORE TROUBLE!
GOOD JOB SO FAR.
DON’T SPOIL IT
PLATOON! BY SECTIONS…
A skinny pokes his head around a corner and Rico throws a bomb at him.
SECOND SECTION, CALL OFF!
ACE, WHERE’S DIZZY?
NUMBER SIX, CALL OFF!
SIXTH SQUAD, FLORES MISSING
SQUAD LEADER OUT FOR PICK UP!
ONE MAN ABSENT.
FLORES SQUAD SIX.
MISSING OR DEAD?
I DON’T KNOW, ME AND ACE ARE DROPPING OUT FOR PICK UP.
LET ACE HANDLE IT.
The pick up beacon is sounding but he turns off his
RICO DO YOU READ? RICO!
HEADS UP! CLOSE TO RETRIEVAL.
ON THE BOUNCE!
RETRIEVAL BEACON’S VOICE
“- To the everlasting glory of the
, shines the name, shines the name of the Rodger Young!”
Rico hears the sound but is heading in the opposite direction.
Ace you got her beacon?
I got her, I don’t need you, go back.
I got you by eye now, where is she?
Right ahead of me, maybe a quarter mile/ I said go back, she’s my man.
Rico isn’t listening he’s closing in on Ace.
He finds Ace standing over Dizzy who’s downed in her suit, a couple of dead
Ace turns to see Rico.
I told you I didn’t need you.
Is she hurt?
I can’t tell,
take her helmet off?
Where is it?
Rico takes his helmet off to get a better look at her.
It’s over there, don’t touch it. It’s covered in something weird.
Rico goes up to her to check if she’s
, can you hear me?
Help me get her out of her armor, we’ll carry her to pick up
They disconnect her from her suit but something’s wrong, she’s comatose and mumbling to herself.
What’s she saying?
let’s get her
They attempt to lift her but she start seizing and flailing like her body isn’t her own and she reaches for her side arm and shoots Rico in the eye.
Gonna be really light on content this week, not that my imaginary is that bothered but they’re simply a stand in for myself and I am disappoint haha. Just been too busy to get any writing done, still hoping against hope that I’ll get this new job, I think I might be a good for it. The other job I applied for to the same place already came back as a no and they’re both closed but I didn’t get a rejection for the one I actually wanted so I’m definitely being considered for it which feels great.
But even if I don’t get it, it changes nothing, my goal is to get to her and I god willing I’ll get a job there and be able to be there for her in some way shape or form. That’s all that matters. I just wish I’d realised sooner, it might be too late now. I dunno, I can’t think like that.
Might do a poem tomorrow since I have nothing else. I did watch that new Jordan Peele movie US and I thought it was kinda shitty. Like a cool idea that was just fumbled, I think it could have made a better tv show. I know he’s doing a twilight zone tv show remake and it might have been a better fit. Because the movie both feels kind of compressed and also really lacking in the necessary lore.
It just made no sense and was kind of silly, like the tone wasn’t right and none of the main cast die so there’s no real tension or drama. It could’ve been a 12a really. There just wasn’t a lot of depth to it, there wasn’t a lot going on. Kinda got Strangers vibes and a few other movies but it just didn’t really do anything very interesting. It was like a cargo cult movie. It looked and felt like a slasher style movie maybe aping the ones from the eighties and nineties but it didn’t have any of the personality or soul of those movies. There wasn’t enough character development or subplot or moral lessons in it to really feel like there was a conclusion.
The main character didn’t go on a journey, they were just reacting to what was happening to them. There were elements hinting on emotional/personal struggles that could’ve been core to the movies themes but they were never really developed. The movie is long but it feels short because of the lack of real content.
Not to say I didn’t enjoy it, it was a pretty fun romp. But it was ultimately substance-less. Although I’m sure some people can pick out deep social themes it at least wasn’t as preachy and heavy handed as Get out. Still I enjoyed it more than the pet cemetery remake.
Anyway, supposed to be looking for more jobs, mainly because waiting to here back about the one I really want is driving me nuts.
“Oh, Paul, oh, Paul!” I pretended to weep as they lowered the coffin into the ground.
As fate would have it, this was the first funeral I’d ever been to. I sincerely doubted it would be my last.
I actually kind of liked it, there was a comfort in the routine of it, the ceremony was soothing. Everyone gathered together to think the nicest possible thoughts of the dearly departed, wearing their nicest clothes. There was solemn dignity, and lots of tears—real or otherwise.
It was a lovely service, flowers, tearful speeches from people I barely knew and the promise of cake in the near future.
“Oh, Paul,” I wept again into a balsam tissue.
“Shhh.” He patted my head, as I rested it on his shoulder.
Thankfully, he remembered very little of our little midnight drive into the middle of nowhere. A combination of all the blows to the head, and a cocktail of drugs concocted by my dear brother.
My dear brother—who was not yet dearly-departed, but still on the run. From what, I couldn’t be sure, because as far as the Orange County authorities were concerned, Antoine Ruiz was, and forever would be, the Huntington Beach Headsman. A title far above his station.
As far my brother had any say in it, Ruiz would never be found, and the myth, the meme, could live on forever. The evil slasher come to life to terrorize a group of innocent teens on prom night. Leaving one not so virginal survivor and her stalwart and tight lipped boyfriend.
There was something about that the normies liked, a divine ritual fulfilled. Like Hollywood had been setting them up for the very occurrence, and been vindicated in the best possible way. Slipped right in place into their cultural consciousness like it was another Friday night.
With that and a little help from our man in the high castle with a claw for a hand it all seemed to wrap up nicely, a neat little bow of red tape, signed sealed and delivered by uncle Sam himself.
I continued to pretend to cry, just making the noise of crying and covering my face, constantly batting away fake tears, no one was watching.
“You need another tissue?” My au-sister Mary Anne asked, pulling a fresh pack out of her purse and giving me a tight restrained smile.
We’d settled on my just calling her my aunt; aunt-sister was a bit of a mouthful, and calling her by her name just felt weird. Plus, I really didn’t want to get bogged down in explaining to people that she wasn’t actually my aunt, but in fact my estranged half-sister, pretending to be my aunt, because we’d watched our real aunt butchered before our eyes, then be put on display like a hunting trophy by our brother, my half-brother. That all seemed best tucked away for a rainy day.
“Thanks,” I took the tissues, smiling a nice fake smile, far better than my brother’s. My estimation of how deep the knife had penetrated Dharma’s side was off by a wide margin.
I would’ve assumed he didn’t want to kill her but necessity for his own life had forced him to act. Similarly, the shot being off-center, it would’ve been nice to think she’d extended him the same courtesy but that might’ve been a stretch, since she mostly carried really strong pepper spray, giving out tickets in cycle shorts. Never the less, her arm was in a fashionable sling for some reason. I never understood why they did that in movies; he hadn’t stabbed her in the arm.
A sudden prodding feeling roused me from my daydream, and I looked over at the grave and the nice picture they had over it. It was the one of the several taken at her sweet sixteen. Wendy did look nice in that one, so full of life. Who would’ve suspected her of anything worse than forgetting to floss?
That feeling again, like someone walking over my grave, someone drilling little hot holes in the back of my head.
I scanned the crowd of her fake friends, the rest of the cheerleading squad, her many exes—the last notwithstanding—and me, her best friend.
Then I saw her.
She was hard to miss, now that I’d noticed her. Dressed as she was, in correctional-facility orange, and chained to two cops. Her dark deep set eyes sent me icy daggers on angel wings. Her hair was long and greasy looking and made curtains of a plain white flat unmade face. Prison make-unders were a real thing.
What did they have against makeup in prison? It wasn’t like eyeliner was against the law. Conditioner even.
Wendy’s mother, the one currently on trial for the murder of her husband. Looking right at me. Not around, not past, but through me.
I could see it in her face.
I didn’t know how she knew, but I’d find out given half a chance, when that happy vicious moon was smiling high in the sky again.
D and I would ask nicely.