Now wait, before you get offended, realise that I don’t give a fuck.

I’ve been writing this little sketch comic for about maybe a year now and it’s served as a vent for all my darkest and most un-pc thoughts. Anything I dare not prod at, Dahmer will happily stab repeatedly and with a gay vigour. Did I mention the comic is about Jeffrey Dahmer??

I had the idea with my brother, I’d been a sort of casual fan of sitcoms when I was younger, subjecting my brain to such tortures as ‘Friends’ and ‘Home Improvements’ and I took a vague interest in Dharma and Greg, I liked the premise. For those who don’t know, it’s a show about a couple who met once briefly as children falling in love at first sight as adults and deciding that instead of dating and ruining everything they’ll just get married right off the bat and get to know each other after. Which surprisingly works out pretty well and it makes for a nice odd couple type thing as Greg is the straight-laced goal orientated business guy and Dharma is the woowoo, hippy free spirit and even someone as cynical as me could not help falling for in real life :’).

I decided it would be funny to replace the happy go lucky Dharma with happy go lucky cannibal serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer and now he functions as the perfect mouth piece to mock the left, the right, and everywhere in between.

So back to this strip in particular, I was walking through town on the rare days I venture out amongst humankind (I like to think I’m on of those writers who tolerates people and thinks up interesting ways for them to die to soothe the feeling of loss) and I saw in the window a picture of Tess Holliday or Munster or whatever. And for those that don’t know she’s for lack of a better word, a ‘land cow’ I’m cruel, she’s obese, she chose to be obese and although I don’t dislike her personally I find glorifying the destruction she’s wrought on her body is just so wrong.

Almost antithetical to everything humankind strives for, to be the best, the smartest, the fittest.
Although I’m not initially against the acceptance of the slipping of these beauty standards, because you know, working out and dieting is hard man, and I don’t really mind women who are carrying a little excess weight but I feel this push to force acceptance of the male population of something they don’t all want is a little well, forced.

This stems back to an argument I had with this girl and now ex-friend on facebook. I made an average level fat joke and yes it was in poor taste and I should probably kill myself, as soon as I finish this blog I promise. But I realised that she was pretty fat and I offended her because looking at Munster/Holliday made her feel better about her own squibbly bits.

Which begs the question, should media make us comfortable with mediocrity and our asses turning into jello pudding or should it push us towards bettering ourselves and unattainable greatness?

Again I’m not even against it really, fat girls in general can’t run as fast and thus cannot escape as easily but when did obesity become such a, forgive me the pun; sacred cow? I used to struggle with my weight and I’ve been conscious and sympathetic to fat people ever since I overcame that but I would never champion this gross abuse of the human body any more than I’d praise a smoker who took drags through a hole in his throat.

But the bottom line and the point of the strip is I have to protest when I think about the latent hypocrisy of this movement, in that if it were gender swapped the same could not be said. I think I can safely say that Calvin Klein will never hire fat, hairy men to model their underwear and until they do I wont be happy.

See you…