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Starship troopers pilot part 8

Yeah so I had a work thing on thursday and when I got home I felt like shit and didn’t want to do anything, hence no content haha.

Which is fine because the only person I let down is myself as always.

I decided just to call them ‘parts’ instead of scenes because the scenes are so short some of them I just decided to lump them together.

This scene specifically is displaying the incongruities between the book and the movie. Because in the movie he’s dating Carmen and they break up and there’s this love square going on. But in the book they’re more like acquaintances and they go on one date later on. They’re not in love, the book isn’t about love, Diz isn’t even a character in the book, he’s just a guy who dies in the first chapter haha.

So there’s no love triangle, there’s no square, there isn’t even a love line or a love circle haha.

And although I’m sort of super autistic about romances, I don’t know how to write a good romance and although I think including romance in your story is sort of played out, I really do think it’s necessary and I appreciate a good romance in a story. As long as it’s not tacky or too over the top. 

Like for instance the romance in the expanse is handled really well. There are two romances one between a cop and a girl he knows is dead. And another between the two main characters which I really like. Because in shows like this you either get these shitty ‘will they won’t they’ romances where they constantly dangle a romance and never deliver or deliver at the end. Or they have the romance and it has rocky patches here and there and what not and it seems like it’s going for the later but so far I like it. It’s nice, not too in your face or over the top and I think one of the reasons I might be having feelings for my ex is that Naomi really reminds me of her. I know it’s really stupid.

A good example of a shitty over the top romance is probably between Geralt and Yenniffer in the witcher books. Because their romance is like built up to be this epic, world altering romance but in every other part of the book they’re just two people that are kind of asshole and hate eachother haha. Yennifer is probably one of the least likeable characters of all the books and Geralt is sort of a nothing character, he’s just an audience insert. So the romance is really wooden but you’re meant to believe it’s shakespeare because of how it’s built up, but it’s just cringe. As you can tell I’m team Triss haha.

Yeah so I included the romance but sort of left a little more to the imagination. I elevated the non-romance in the book and brought the romance down a notch from the movie. So it’s like a sliding scale of narrative romance the lowest being no romance going up to ‘will they won’t they’ to the highest ‘oh they did and it fucked up’ haha.

I didn’t watch a film this week or have anything worth reviewing, just been in a miasma of work and videogames and hating life. I barely managed to get a chapter done this week. Which is shameful considering I could average a chapter a day at one point. I dunno, my mind is just on trying to find a new job and be with the people most important to me right now. I’m sort of shelving writing but I can’t actually stop so I’m just keeping my pen moving.

But I can’t complain really, well I can and I will but you know.

Well that’s enough for today. I will have a chapter of Cur done by thursday for all those masses of no people that read this.

See you…

INT. Rico parents house. Day.

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

You’re going to

harvard

, not throwing your life away like this.

 

 

RicO

 

 

It’s my life, my decision, not yours! I’m going!

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

You’re going on vacation and that’s the last of it. You’ll resign, it’ll look bad but it’s better than wasting your life.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

I wont quit! I wanna be a citizen!

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

If you walk out of that door you’re cut off, do you understand me?

 

 

Rico walks off, his mother takes him by the arm,

 

 

 

 

 

Rico’S MOM

 

 

Johnny does citizenship really mean that much to you?

 

 

RiCO’S MOM (

CONT’D

)

 

 

No one in mine or your fathers family has ever had citizenship and look at us, the nice house we live, the life we live.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

(Hesitantly) Yeah, I guess.

 

 

Rico’S MOM

 

 

I hope you’re not ruining your life over some silly little girl who wants you to look handsome putting on a uniform.

 

 

RICO

 

 

It’s not – it’s not like that. I can’t explain it. I just – I just need to get out on my own.

 

 

Rico walks off to the station with his bags packed.

 

 

RicO’S MOM

 

 

Johnny!

 

 

 

 

 

ExT. A pARK. DAY

 

 

Johnny and Carmen are enjoying a day at the park when a weird blue light fills the atmosphere. The ground shakes and rocks start to float in the air as everything around them is decimated.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. ROGER YOUNG SPACE SHIP.

 

 

Rico is in a darkened room in the ship looking down at the earth through a huge window as it’s destroyed by a giant blue plasma meteorite. He watches the earth turning black and dying.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. Karl’s house. Night.

 

 

Rico wakes up in a cold sweat from his dream staying the night at Karls house to escape his parents.

 

 

He goes to get a drink of water and stares up into space at all the stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. Outside the transit hub on terra. Day.

 

 

Karl, Johnny and Carmen are meeting up to say their final

goodbyes

before they set off on their tour of service.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

You ready?

 

 

RICO

 

 

I’m wearing everything I own?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

I told you your dad wouldn’t go for it.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Thanks for letting me stay at your place last night.

 

 

KARL

 

 

What are friends for?

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Johnny, I’m sorry.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

It’s fine, the federation will give me everything I need for the next two years right?

 

 

KARL

 

 

Right

 

 

RICO

 

 

So Karl did you get

starside

R&D?

 

 

KARL

 

 

I don’t know yet, they said I need to undergo more tests in an off site facility, whatever that means. But a little birdie tells me

Carmencita

is heading off to the fleet academy.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

A little birdie

eh

?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Carmen, that’s great.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

What about you Johnnie?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

Yeah tough guy what did you even put down as preference?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Hey that’s personal

ok

and I don’t know either, they need to run more tests too, I guess.

 

 

KaRL

 

 

Well,

ok

. I guess this is it.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Hey, let’s make a pact

ok

? Let’s promise

nomatter

what happens that we’ll always be friends.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Friends?

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Friends

 

 

KarL

 

 

Well we’ll probably be in

seperate

galaxies light years away from

eachother

but sure why not?

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

That’s the spirit.

 

 

KARL

 

 

Anyway my transport is leaving soon so I gotta go.

 

 

KARL (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Bye for now.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

See ya soon buddy.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Good luck Karl

 

 

CARMEN (

CONT’D

)

 

 

My transport is leaving soon too

 

 

RicO

 

 

I’ll see you off, help you with your luggage.

 

 

Rico helps her with her bags as she goes to the terminal.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Are you sure, you might be late to your shuttle?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Yeah of course.

 

 

She leads him off towards her shuttle platform.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I couldn’t let you go without a proper goodbye.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

A ‘proper goodbye’.

 

 

He puts her bags down.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Well you know.

 

 

He takes her and kisses her.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I love you.

 

 

She boards the shuttle still looking at him.

 

 

RiCO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

You can say it too.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Goodbye Johnny

 

 

The shuttle pulls away and jets off into space leaving Rico staring at his own reflection as there’s nothing but darkness there now.

 

 

Starship troopers pilot scene 6 (+propaganda)

Ok so good news bad news, well mostly bad news. 

Yeah you might have heard that they’re actually already doing a starship troopers fucking tv show. So fuck me right, someone stole my idea, plucked it right out of my head while I slept, those evil goblins. 

But you know there’s also ‘hey they’re making a starship troopers show, this is awesome, I love starship troopers’ yeah well about that. I heard the guys who made the movie are coming back to make it including Casper Van Dees (however you spell that guys name. Really dutch name though like mine, I should know how to spell it haha).

And a normie fan of starship troopers would be like ‘omg that’s amazeballs’ but your cynic realist like me is much more jaded. Obviously it’s fucking amazing to get the actual stars of the original movie to come back for a tv show, the problem lies in them reprising their roles. See this sounds nuts, you’re asking “Why wouldn’t they reprise their roles?”.

The reason they shouldn’t reprise their roles is because no one wants to see a 50+ year old white dude running around and being the hero of a sci-fi action show. Sure I would watch that if he were head of Rico’s roughnecks but more than likely whats going to happen is he’ll be a general who’ll be in a few episodes and the main cast will be all new characters most likely extremely racially and genderly (that’s a word I made up) diverse circa 2019 i.e there probably wont be a white male lead haha. I mean it’s not a huge problem, well it is considering the biggest demographic of sci fi fans are also white males looking to live vicariously through the main character and we’re currently seeing how the new star trek and star wars is totally tanking as they made their central characters women for no other reason but trying to straddle two demographics and pander to women. And yeah I saw the new star wars nine trailer and no I still don’t care.

Which from a marketing perspective makes perfect sense, you assume white straight men are baked into the cake so you then try to get women and other groups of people on board. The problem is white men are the biggest group and if you lose them in the process you’re fucked. And that’s not even mentioning the story and characters so while you’re juggling your target audience the story and other stuff still has to be good.

And will the story of this be good? I don’t know because there’s almost no way it could be based on the book. Maybe it could be based on the comic books, that would be cool. But I just don’t know. I’m glad it’s happening but I think 2019 in the era of Trump is the wrong time for it to be good. I think it’s going to be a bit silly and counter signal trump a lot in a ridiculous way. I don’t think they could resist that since it’s basically a fascist dictatorship in space. So expect hammy political nonsense chucked in, I dunno it could be ok, but I doubt it.

On the otherhand I just saw the trailer for the Mandalorian and that actually looks pretty good and believe it or not the main character is a huhwhite male which in 2019 is like wtf? Because as soon as I heard the main character wasn’t Boba or Jango Fett I was like ‘Oh here comes the black lesbian bounty hunter’ haha. And I was watching the trailer and they didn’t show him without the helmet and I was like ‘yup it’s gonna be a black chick haha’ but no it’s actually a guy and I think the casting is perfect. Because they picked someone who’s not too famous but he’s just famous and interesting enough to carry a show. He’s just been in a few indie movies and played bit parts in some big movies so he’s at the perfect point in his career to be the vehicle for this. And he is a huhwhite male but he’s a huhwhite male through the backdoor haha. 

Because he has a hispanic name and he looks a little hispanic and he has a spanish accent but he’s actually chilean spanish. So the dude is white and I was coincidentally watching a movie called ‘the prospector’ last night that he was in and his american accent is flawless and he’s a fantastic actor and would be perfect to play the mandalorian for a number of reasons.

I think his face and the way he talks and acts is perfect for playing an anti-hero because he has this sort of nice soft sort of face where he looks a bit like Nathan Fillion but he also has a ruggedness to him and a tone of his voice where you can see him being a villain. So he does this perfect balancing act between likeable and sort of sleazy and I think that’s exactly what you want from an underworld space bounty hunter/merc.

I really just have no idea how this Cassian Andor show is going to go up against this, surely they’ll have to cancel it. There’s no way that show can go up against this, I mean it’s made by Jon Favreau and it’s tangentially about the most beloved and under served character in the star wars universe. Everyone loves Boba fett and mandalorians. And who the hell is Cassian Andor? He’s mexican Han solo no one asked for. Makes me think the Han solo movie would’ve been better as a series actually. Because I actually didn’t hate that movie, I thought the casting was pretty good and the movie was pretty fun. Pointless but fun.

Ok so yeah it sucks, in an alternate universe where I had cash and connections and any social skills and I was born in L.A I would’ve made a bomb ass starship troopers show that would’ve stayed faithful to the book and the expanded universe and built out from that but ya know, maybe it’ll be good.

Anyway enough ranting, gotta look for a new job haha.

See you…

ExT. A park. Day

 

 

A small blonde child with his back turned to the camera is playing in the park.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Hey there little Timmy

 

 

Little Timmy

 

 

Hey there mister

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Say Timmy do you like little puppies?

 

 

LITTLe TIMMY

 

 

I sure do mister!

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Well get a load of this!

 

 

A cybernetically enhanced battle dog jumps over a rock.

 

 

Little timmy

 

 

Woah

that’s so cool.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Yes it is Timmy. Wanna know how you get an awesome neodog like this.

 

 

LiTTLe TIMMY

 

 

I sure do mister.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Join the mobile infantry’s

K9

division and you’ll get a cybernetic uplink to your faithful pooch so you can do your part together!

 

 

LITTLE TIMMY

 

 

That’s so cool, where can I sign up?

 

 

VoICE OVER

 

 

Maybe when you’re a little older Timmy.

 

 

LiTTLE TIMMY

 

 

Aww

shucks.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Why don’t you say hello to this little guy in the mean time.

 

 

The kid is handed a cute little puppy.

 

 

LitTLE TIMMY

 

 

Yay!

 

 

The kid and the puppy roll around on the floor giggling.

 

 

LITTLE TIMMY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

(

looking

at the camera) I’m doing my part.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Int. Inside someone’s bedroom. Day.

 

 

A normal looking guy is looking down staring at an intranet screen.

 

 

VoICE OVER

 

 

Why so glum non-citizen.

 

 

Guy

 

 

I missed the execution of that deviant pornographer.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Don’t worry non-citizen, we’re streaming round the clock executions on the

fednet

with highlights of the best executions and corporal punishment in federal space.

 

 

A video clip of the pornographer being shot by firing squad appears.

 

 

GuY

 

 

Awesome!

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Would you like to know more?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ExT. Outside a federal brothel. day.

 

 

A

schlubby

looking guy is trying to get into a brothel. It’s a big square building that looks more like an office. Grey stone but with flashy

neons

signs outside.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Where do you think you’re going non-citizen?

 

 

GUY

 

 

Oh I was just…

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Federal brothels are servicemen and citizens only.

 

 

GUY

 

 

But I…

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Talk to the hand non-citizen.

 

 

The non-citizen walks away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

InT. Inside the federal brothel.

 

 

The federal brothel is a stark building where women are behind glass in what looks like a human vending machine.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

One of the many perks of federal service is enjoying a federation joy centre.

 

 

One of the federal sex workers dressed in a sexy faux uniform smiles at the camera.

 

 

VOICE OVER (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Remember not all service roles have to be in combat.

 

 

Federal sex worker

 

 

I’m doing my part!

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Hahaha

That’s the spirit!

 

 

VOICE OVER (

CONT’D

)

 

 

(In fast small print voice) Federal sex work does not guarantee citizenship)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

InT. Recruiting station. Day.

 

 

Carmem

, Karl and Johnny head to the reception of the recruitment centre to join up for federal service. A vet with one arm and no legs is behind the desk.

 

 

KARL

 

 

Good morning, I want to join up.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Me too!

 

 

The officer at the desk looks past them at Carmen.

 

 

Desk sergeant

 

 

Good morning, young lady. What can I do for you?

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

I want to join up too. I wanna be a pilot.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT

 

 

Good girl! You look like a pilot. If you’ll just head up to room 201 and ask for Major

Rojas

she’ll take care of you.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

Carmen heads off to be tested.

 

 

The desk sergeant turns back sullenly to the boys.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT

 

 

So?

 

 

RICO

 

 

I want to be a pilot too.

 

 

DESK SERGEANT

 

 

You?

 

 

KarL

 

 

I’m interested in the Research and Development Corps.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT

 

 

Do either of you boys understand why they have me out here?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

Why?

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT

 

 

Because the government doesn’t care if you join up because you think it’s ‘cool’.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Think all the girls will swoon because you have a fancy ribbon in your lapel and you can tell people you’re a vet whether you saw combat or not.

 

 

DESK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

We’ve already got too many recruits than we know what do with, you think you have what it takes to be a real soldier.

 

 

RICO

 

 

No.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT

 

 

Then go back home, go to college, get married, have kids.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I can’t tell you what to do, it’s your constitutional right to join up and claim full citizenship.

 

 

The desk sergeant wheels around to show them his missing legs.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

They put me out here to scare people like you away.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Take your pretty girlfriend that just went, I hope she makes it but if she doesn’t they take her anyway and she could be shipped off to

antartica

and not see natural light for two years, doing nasty dirty work.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

If you don’t make it,

that’ll

sound like paradise compared to whatever they might give you.

 

 

DESK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Look at me, this is what service can buy you, if not the whole farm.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

But I was lucky, you might not be so lucky.

 

 

DESK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

This is not a vacation.

 

 

DeSK SERGEANT (

CONT’D

)

 

 

So,

what’ll

it be?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

I’m here to join up.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Me too!

 

 

Ghost Harassers

This isn’t necessarily about Ghostbusters or even feminism really, it’s more about labelling or branding or signalling I guess.

It’s become apparent even more so recently at the time I wrote this sketch that feminism is ‘In’ now, what do I mean by that, I mean all the airheads of Hollywood and all these American hives of scum and villainy and really really fucking white teeth have adopted this ‘mantra’, for lack of a better word.

And I understand why, it sounds nice right, if you’re a woman it means you support women’s rights yada yada yada, if you’re a man it means women think you’re sensitive and you get more pussy as if guys in Hollywood need more pussy (maybe with the exception of Will Wheaton, I know he has a wife, I just don’t think she’s smart enough to work her vagina, I’m not even sure he’s in Hollywood).

It’s just like when celebs open charities or politicians have photo-ops to make them seem ‘hip’ or ‘in touch with the people’ it doesn’t really mean anything. It’s just branding, you’re trying to package yourself to a demographic you think wants to hear this load of bullshit that makes them feel good and in turn makes them feel good about you.

That’s not to say that some don’t care about the charities they work on or they don’t genuinely believe feminism is beneficial to mankind. I’m not trying to say it’s all about attention or getting people to like you, I’m just saying a lot of it is that, because to declare yourself a feminist has to come with a lot of caveats.

Saying you’re a feminist, really doesn’t mean a lot because there are so many different kinds, it’s like saying you’re a christian, well that’s great but what kind of christian are you?

What I mean by it taking a very surface level involvement is that they hear feminism is about ‘equality’ and who isn’t down for equality? You’d have to be a complete asshole to have a microphone and a camera shoved in your face and tell people you don’t believe in equality. It’s like someone puts a gun at your head and says “Are you or have you ever been a member of the communist party?”

I’ve seen a lot of this, it’s as if an ideology has gone through a viral marketing campaign, where they’ve given it a bit of a makeover and are now shoving it into people’s faces for some reason.

“Nazism, it’s about protecting the purity of the white race, through cuddles and NUSSING ELSE!”

Because on the surface it’s all rainbows and sunshine and ‘equality’ and happiness and fair pay and all that good stuff, but below that its’ very different. So when someone comes up to you on the street or if you’re a celebrity they stick a microphone in your face and say ‘Are you a feminist?’ what they’re actually asking is ‘Are you or have you ever been a shitlord?’

And to the average person they’ll say ‘no’ because they’ll think of it as this activism movement that you actually have to be a part of like the communist party and you’ll have to wear stupid shirts and die your hair green. But the definition in this new marketing campaign has become so broad you and your dog are now feminists. People who are dead are fucking feminists posthumously. They couldn’t wait a day after Leonard Nemoy died before they cited him saying something nice about women somewhere and claiming him as one of their own like Mitt Romney baptising his dead father in law into mormonism in the basement of his creepy mormon church in a pool of yaks piss under a statue of a gold bull or whatever. It’s that fucking weird.

It’s trying to grow by obscuring the facts, by spreading the ‘dictionary definition’ very thin and with shitloads, I mean fucking bucket loads of no true Scotsman fallacies to cover up all the nasty pr disasters that occur in their name.

And they love to trot out this dictionary definition and say it means ‘Equality’ well it doesn’t, we already have a word for that, it’s called ‘Egalitarian’, feminism actually says equality for women but since we’re going by dictionary definitions.

Communism

[kom-yuh-niz-uh m]

noun

1.

a theory or system of social organization based on the holding of all property in common, actual ownership being ascribed to the community as a whole or to the state.

Doesn’t sound too bad does it, if you side step the mountain of corpses.

North Korea, according to the ever so insightful and reliable wikipedia, it officially states that North Korea is a Democratic People’s Republic, hmm.

Islam is a religion of peace, christianity is about love, scientology is about… err something good, you get the picture, it’s almost like these things are not what they appear to be on paper.

It’s almost like something can be different than what it ascribes to be, huh??

The reason they use the blanket term is because it’s so general, there’s no way you could disagree with ‘equality’ you can’t it’s impossible, you’d have to be fucking Skeletor living in a castle made of dicks to say you don’t support equality even a little bit.

So using that false definition and this sort of social pressure bullying they cast a net and try to force this dogma into the mainstream of culture, I’m not saying it’s not mainstream; it certainly is on the surface level. They tout their wage gap myths and their rape statistics and their number of female directors and all this confirmation bias and nonsense and it gets some nodding heads and confirmation bias is shared by all, everyone who doesn’t want to think about it is happy go home. But if you don’t agree well then twitter is your deathbed buddy, you then become Skeletor in the confines of the internet, burn the internet, because everyone fat woman with blue hair is Heman on anti-depressants.

I don’t even know what I’m really trying to say, I guess I just like thinking my own thoughts and having my own opinions. The idea that someone can just shove an ideology in your face and then brand you a bigot for just not wanting to associate yourself with something that comes with so much unseen baggage, is ludicrous. It essentially comes down to ‘Agree with me or die’ which is pretty much the stance of every conquering religion ever devised.

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