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Angry manbaby

Captain Marvel Review

This movie was two hours long, not ninety minutes, not a hundred minutes a full one hundred and twenty minutes of my life wasted on this garbage.

Predictably I hated but it kinda reminds me that I recently watched the Shazam movie and putting them side by side really makes Shazam look a head and shoulders apart from this tripe. Shazam was a movie, it made sense, it had likeable characters with believable goals. It had a cool interesting villain, great action and it started at the fucking start.

It was an actual movie, captain marvel is just a collection of scenes used as an excuse to put nineties songs over the transitions.

The story is nonsense, I watched it yesterday and I couldn’t tell what it was about, some scientist did a thing and then things happened then powers, then evil space nazis for reason want to wipe out space refugees for threatening their borders in space.
That’s right folks, there are borders in space, that’s how fucking dumb and on the nose this movie is.

It’s trying to slip in a really bad allegory to Trump and it just falls flat, it’s not clever, it’s not new and it’s not even trying. That’s the first thing that strikes me, Shazam was trying, this movie just doesn’t give a shit.

It starts like in the middle so you don’t know how she got her powers and the villain is like her mentor and then you find out through flashbacks as her memory comes back how she got her powers and that he’s really the villain, but I didn’t care. It was just boring and pointless and because they didn’t start at the start, there’s no journey so her powers just feel unearned.
This movie would’ve been ten times better if it had started on earth and not gone for a shitty twist that wasn’t exciting or interesting. Oh no Jude Law is the bad guy not that guy that’s always hired to be the evil straight white male villain in everything. No because in this he’s actually green and he’s a refugee and he just wants a home for his family, who are aboard some space ship for some reason. None of this movie makes sense, none of the scenes are really connected, I didn’t care about any of the characters, the dialogue is some of the cringest I’ve ever heard. I actually screamed I cringed so hard at some of it. It’s so bad, I started to think this movie wasn’t made by people but some weird algorithm coded to make cringe.

The fact humans made this movie both disturbs and disappoints me.

Just seeing now Shazam was also over two hours, but ask me why I don’t care, because that movie was fun and stuff happened in it and it had a story and likeable characters.

The only positive thing I can say about it is I like how shitty the sets look, which sounds like a weird positive. But I loved how nineties it looked, it was like they took their huge budget and intentionally tried to make everything look like a nineties sci-fi channel show.

There’s literally a part on a space ship where Larson is trying to quippy and having a fight and it’s cringe, she’s terrible but my brother was like, “that set looks like a laser tag zone”. And it really did. And the scene after Fury remarks that she’s dressed like she was doing lasertag and that was a pretty funny coincidence.

I don’t know what more I can say about this, the movie is just lazy on all fronts, no one is trying, you can see the phone in the hand of nearly everyone in this movie, including the camera men and the set designers and the writers. This movie could not have been more phoned in.

And it also decides to ruin the origin story of Nick Fury for the sake of a stupid joke because that worked out so well doing that with the madurin in iron man 3. That was so funny turning this awesome character into a stupid gag. Yeah Nick Fury trusted an alien cat and that’s how he lost his eye. What’s more to say at this point? This movie is garbage and I’m beyond sick of seeing super hero movies, I just want them to go away and not come back for maybe ten years if at all.

Oh I just remembered I have to watch the dark phoenix movie, someone please kill me.

Oh god, I long for death. I literally pirated this game and I feel ripped off, I can’t imagine how pissed I would’ve been if I paid money for this garbage.

I haven’t even talked about how obnoxious Brie Larson is in general, almost unbearable in this movie and just in real life. I think what annoys me the most about this movie is how disengenuous the marketing campaign was, putting aside the whole political girl power bullshit muh stronk indapandent wamens thing they marketed this movie as if you couldn’t see Endgame without this. They made it seem like she was essential to the plot of that film and that it would be a stop gap and fill in holes and be this big important movie.
And apparently that was all bullshit since the skrull and cri aren’t even in endgame and they didn’t know what to do with capt marvel and just made her go away for most of the film to come back at the end. So it was obviously retconned bullshit, it was nonsense, it was a lie to get us to watch this garbage movie and insert muh stronk wamens into the marvel universe to try and compete with DC’s wonderwoman which was terminally ok.
But I guess dc has been like “yeah well most of our movies suck and make no money but hey we made a stronk indapandent wamens movie that was sort of less unbearable than our other movies” and the execs at marvel were losing their fucking minds. So instead of just making a scarlet witch movie or black widow movie, which would make more sense they insert this totally generic female superman into their timeline really akwardly and somehow manage to piss off everyone, the other marvel actors includesd.
And it’s not an act, they actively hate her, every interview she’s in with them they look uncomfortable and there’s this body language expert that looks at them on youtube and they actually hate her. And I understand why, she’s a fucking carpetbagger. They’ve sunk years of their lives, blood, sweat and tears into these movies and then at the last minute this chippy with a flat ass just rushes to the finish line out of nowhere and on top of that is super obnoxious and trying to politicise a movie franchise which has managed to keep itself relatively light and fun and politics free. She is the fucking turd in the punchbowl.

So yeah, don’t watch captain gender studies, save your money and time and watch shazam or literally anything else, watch your dad hang dry wall, watch a giant snail eat a carrot on youtube, do anything but watch this shit. I did it so you don’t have to, please no medals.

See you…

Starship troopers pilot end scene

Yeah well that’s that I guess.

Kinda running out of content but I changed tacts recently I decided if I just wasn’t feeling Kur 2 I wouldn’t continue until I was in the mood for it and just to write something else for fun until I was up to it.

I mean there’s no point in writing more Kur if I think it’s garbage or my hearts not in it so I’ve just been working on other stuff, which will be a really shit surprise for thursday haha.

So don’t hold your breath for that. Most of my time and energy is going towards finding a new job and getting out of this shitty country and being with my daughter. Writing is on the back burner until that in the works.

Probably gonna do a Captain Marvel review because I pirated it last night and I hated it but I’m not sure I have enough to say about it because it was such a nothing burger of a film. Even by marvel standards it was just bleh, completely formless and pointless with some of the most cringe dialogue ever written. I kind of had to force myself to believe it was made by people and not an algorithm.

Anyway gotta get to proofreading that new shitty stuff I was writing instead of Kur for thursday and of course flooding barbados with my cv haha.

See you…

ExT. in space above the planet. day

 

 

We return to Rico as he falls in and out of consciousness

faling

towards the planet in his damaged pod.

 

 

DiZZY

 

 

RICO!

 

 

JELLY

 

 

RICO! YOU’RE A SITTING DUCK KID!

 

 

 

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

YOU NEED TO BREAK AWAY FROM YOUR POD OR THEY’LL PICK UP YOUR HEAT

SIG

.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

RICO CAN YOU HEAR ME?

 

 

Rico is barely conscious as he’s falling getting faster. He wakes up and inhales and muscle memory starts to kick in and he engages the servos in his power armor.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU PASS THE ATMOSPHERE OR YOU’LL BURN UP!

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

RICO CAN YOU HEAR ME?

 

 

The pod is entering the atmosphere and its rough, it’s hot and parts of the pod are coming off.

 

 

He clears the outer atmosphere and starts into free fall. He starts to kick his way out of his pod. The huge desert planet getting larger and coming faster at him as he falls.

 

 

 

 

 

Power armor voice

 

 

Proximity alert! Proximity alert!

 

 

Rico flips a release to break away the last layer of the egg pod.

 

 

The first charge pops all the straps and then the outer shell.

 

 

Now he’s actually falling, nothing separating him from the outside world, just his suit and falling with the air under his feet.

 

 

POWER ARMOR VOICE (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Brace for impact!

 

 

He looks around the terrain and sees enemies firing on his pod. Scanning the terrain he straightens up his fall into a

swandive

and then pops his first shoot and is yanked up into the air out of the sight of the enemy snipers.

 

 

He disengages the first shoot and tries to engage the second but it was damaged during the fall.

 

 

PoWER ARMOR VOICE (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Proximity alert! Brace for impact.

 

 

He falls through the roof of an alien building of some sort.

 

 

JELLY

 

 

RICO, IF YOU’RE ALIVE AND CAN HEAR THIS, SCAN MY BEACON.

 

 

Enemy soldiers surround the building.

 

 

A light inside Rico’s helmet lights up his face, blood trickling down it from a head wound.

 

 

A sudden quick shape shoots from the roof of the building and in it’s wake it leaves behind a bomb.

 

 

The bomb explodes dispatching the area.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

RICO REPORT!

 

 

RICO

 

 

My shoot malfunctioned, snoopers say I’m on the wrong side of the river.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I have your beacon locked.

 

 

RicO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

On my way to you.

 

 

JELLY

 

 

Shit

son, you had me worried.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Don’t lag behind.

 

 

The explosion in the warehouse he blows up goes off again igniting some ignitable substance and knocking Rico off balance.

 

 

He squares up and keeps moving.

 

 

Rico looks at device that allows him to see the formation of his squad.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

ACE REDRESS YOUR LINE

 

 

Ace

 

 

Rico, so you’re alive.

 

 

RICO

 

 

YOUR LINE.

 

 

ACE

 

 

YES SIR!

 

 

Rico hops the river in his power suit and makes his way to a sweet spot he picked out, a grouping of buildings on a hills he was planning to hit.

 

 

Rico loads and cocks a rocket launcher from his back.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

ACE STRAIGHTEN UP I SAID!

 

 

ACE

 

 

YES SIR!

 

 

JELLY

 

 

ALL HANDS!

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

PLATOON, BY LEAPFROG! FORWARD!

 

 

SERGEANT JOHNSON

 

 

BY LEAPFROG! ODD NUMBERS! ADVANCE!

 

 

Rico lines of up his rocket launcher pulling the first trigger to lock and then the second trigger decimating what could be a temple or a palace.

 

 

RICO

 

 

SECOND SECTION, EVEN NUMBERS

 

 

Rico jumps clear of the building.

 

 

RiCO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

ADVANCE!

 

 

His power suit allows him to jump the next row of buildings as he advances.

 

 

With his free hand he uses a hand flamer to burn the buildings as he passes.

 

 

He fires another set of

H.E

bombs from the Y rack on his shoulders but passes too quickly to see their effect, just bathed in the light of the explosions against the night sky.

 

 

An enemy comes out of the building Rico is approaching they see

eachother

.

 

 

JELLY

 

 

ODD NUMBERS ADVANCE!

 

 

Rico flames him and jumps over the building he’s coming out of.

 

 

But he’s distracted by having to act so fast and he poorly times his jump coming up too high and too wide leaving him exposed.

 

 

He attracts the attention of a group of enemies and comes down badly on the roof of a factory covered in pipes and wires.

 

 

He jumps again scattering a cluster bomb to keep them busy.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

SECOND SECTION! EVEN NUMBERS

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

ADVANCE!

 

 

Rico sees something in the distance and gets a high vantage point to activate his snoopers. His gear is firing their payloads automatically now as he lands after each jump. He sees some sort of large building in the distance which he thinks could be their waterworks.

 

 

JeLLY

 

 

JOHNNY! RED! START BENDING IN THE FLANKS!

 

 

RiCO

 

 

SIR!

 

 

RED

 

 

SIR!

 

 

Rico activates his beacon.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

SECOND SECTION CURVE IN!

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

SQUAD LEADER ACKNOWLEDGE!

 

 

ACE

 

 

SURE THING!

 

 

 

 

 

ACE (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Already on it, pick up your feet.

 

 

The home defences start to rally and Rico narrowly dodges a missile fired at him, rattling his teeth.

 

 

Then a beam is fired overhead and he stops frozen.

 

 

He jumps frantically trying to keep moving and get out of that spot landing in a crowd of enemies firing his flamer in a wide fast burst.

 

 

He moves on but his Y rack has run out of bombs and he stops to reload it with the last of his

H.E

bombs and check his position.

 

 

He flips his snoopers up to scan the battle field for something substantial to hit with his last two A rockets.

 

 

He fires off into the distance there are a series of unidentified explosions above so Rico decides not to risk a jump.

 

 

He takes out a beam knife and cuts through the buildings instead cutting and blasting through the buildings.

 

 

Rico unintentionally breaks into a huge room full of aliens. There’s a pause as neither knows how to react.

 

 

It seems to be full of civilians taking shelter but one scared skinny takes a shot at him, hitting his armor.

 

 

Rico is rattled and jumps for cover instinctively leaving them behind a little present.

 

 

The bomb he throws

sqwarks

in their own language.

 

 

Bomb (captions)

 

 

I am a thirty second bomb!

 

 

BOMB (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Twenty nine seconds,

 

 

BOMB (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Twenty eight!

 

 

BOMB (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Twenty seven…

 

 

Rico doesn’t stick around he jumps through the roof of the building and gets a bearing on his formation.

 

 

JELLY

 

 

CIRCLE IS CLOSED, BUT THE BEACON ISN’T DOWN YET.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

MOVE UP SLOWLY, MILL AROUND.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

CAUSE A LITTLE MORE TROUBLE!

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

GOOD JOB SO FAR.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

DON’T SPOIL IT

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

PLATOON! BY SECTIONS…

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

MUSTER!

 

 

A skinny pokes his head around a corner and Rico throws a bomb at him.

 

 

JohNSON

 

 

SECOND SECTION, CALL OFF!

 

 

MIGLIACCIO

 

 

FOUR HERE!

 

 

JACKSON

 

 

FIVE

 

 

SMITH

 

 

SIX HERE!

 

 

BRUTO

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

RICO

 

 

ACE, WHERE’S DIZZY?

 

 

ACE

 

 

NUMBER SIX, CALL OFF!

 

 

SMITH

 

 

SIXTH SQUAD, FLORES MISSING

 

 

ACE

 

 

SQUAD LEADER OUT FOR PICK UP!

 

 

RICO

 

 

ONE MAN ABSENT.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

FLORES SQUAD SIX.

 

 

JOHNSON

 

 

MISSING OR DEAD?

 

 

RICO

 

 

I DON’T KNOW, ME AND ACE ARE DROPPING OUT FOR PICK UP.

 

 

JOHNSON

 

 

LET ACE HANDLE IT.

 

 

The pick up beacon is sounding but he turns off his

comms

.

 

 

JohNSON (

CONT’D

)

 

 

RICO DO YOU READ? RICO!

 

 

JELLY

 

 

HEADS UP! CLOSE TO RETRIEVAL.

 

 

JELLY (

CONT’D

)

 

 

ON THE BOUNCE!

 

 

RETRIEVAL BEACON’S VOICE

 

 

“- To the everlasting glory of the

infrantry

, shines the name, shines the name of the Rodger Young!”

 

 

Rico hears the sound but is heading in the opposite direction.

 

 

Rico

 

 

Ace you got her beacon?

 

 

Ace

 

 

I got her, I don’t need you, go back.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

I got you by eye now, where is she?

 

 

Ace

 

 

Right ahead of me,  maybe a quarter mile/ I said go back, she’s my man.

 

 

Rico isn’t listening he’s closing in on Ace.

 

 

He finds Ace standing over Dizzy who’s downed in her suit, a couple of dead

skinnys

near her.

 

 

Ace turns to see Rico.

 

 

AcE (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I told you I didn’t need you.

 

 

Rico

 

 

Is she hurt?

 

 

Ace

 

 

I can’t tell,

why’d

take her helmet off?

 

 

RicO

 

 

Where is it?

 

 

Rico takes his helmet off to get a better look at her.

 

 

ACE

 

 

It’s over there, don’t touch it. It’s covered in something weird.

 

 

Rico goes up to her to check if she’s

ok

.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Diz

, can you hear me?

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Help me get her out of her armor, we’ll carry her to pick up

 

 

They disconnect her from her suit but something’s wrong, she’s comatose and mumbling to herself.

 

 

DIZZY

 

 

No-can’t-leave-don’t-come

 

 

Ace

 

 

What’s she saying?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

I

dunno

let’s get her

outta

here.

 

 

 

 

 

They attempt to lift her but she start seizing and flailing like her body isn’t her own and she reaches for her side arm and shoots Rico in the eye.

Diana in the dark epilogue ‘Waltz me to the grave’ (remurdered)

Henlo there,

Gonna be really light on content this week, not that my imaginary is that bothered but they’re simply a stand in for myself and I am disappoint haha. Just been too busy to get any writing done, still hoping against hope that I’ll get this new job, I think I might be a good for it. The other job I applied for to the same place already came back as a no and they’re both closed but I didn’t get a rejection for the one I actually wanted so I’m definitely being considered for it which feels great.

But even if I don’t get it, it changes nothing, my goal is to get to her and I god willing I’ll get a job there and be able to be there for her in some way shape or form. That’s all that matters. I just wish I’d realised sooner, it might be too late now. I dunno, I can’t think like that.
Might do a poem tomorrow since I have nothing else. I did watch that new Jordan Peele movie US and I thought it was kinda shitty. Like a cool idea that was just fumbled, I think it could have made a better tv show. I know he’s doing a twilight zone tv show remake and it might have been a better fit. Because the movie both feels kind of compressed and also really lacking in the necessary lore.
It just made no sense and was kind of silly, like the tone wasn’t right and none of the main cast die so there’s no real tension or drama. It could’ve been a 12a really. There just wasn’t a lot of depth to it, there wasn’t a lot going on. Kinda got Strangers vibes and a few other movies but it just didn’t really do anything very interesting. It was like a cargo cult movie. It looked and felt like a slasher style movie maybe aping the ones from the eighties and nineties but it didn’t have any of the personality or soul of those movies. There wasn’t enough character development or subplot or moral lessons in it to really feel like there was a conclusion. 

The main character didn’t go on a journey, they were just reacting to what was happening to them. There were elements hinting on emotional/personal struggles that could’ve been core to the movies themes but they were never really developed. The movie is long but it feels short because of the lack of real content.

Not to say I didn’t enjoy it, it was a pretty fun romp. But it was ultimately substance-less. Although I’m sure some people can pick out deep social themes it at least wasn’t as preachy and heavy handed as Get out. Still I enjoyed it more than the pet cemetery remake.

Anyway, supposed to be looking for more jobs, mainly because waiting to here back about the one I really want is driving me nuts.

See you…

“Oh, Paul, oh, Paul!” I pretended to weep as they lowered the coffin into the ground.

As fate would have it, this was the first funeral I’d ever been to. I sincerely doubted it would be my last.

I actually kind of liked it, there was a comfort in the routine of it, the ceremony was soothing. Everyone gathered together to think the nicest possible thoughts of the dearly departed, wearing their nicest clothes. There was solemn dignity, and lots of tears—real or otherwise.

It was a lovely service, flowers, tearful speeches from people I barely knew and the promise of cake in the near future.

“Oh, Paul,” I wept again into a balsam tissue.

“Shhh.” He patted my head, as I rested it on his shoulder.

Thankfully, he remembered very little of our little midnight drive into the middle of nowhere. A combination of all the blows to the head, and a cocktail of drugs concocted by my dear brother.

My dear brother—who was not yet dearly-departed, but still on the run. From what, I couldn’t be sure, because as far as the Orange County authorities were concerned, Antoine Ruiz was, and forever would be, the Huntington Beach Headsman. A title far above his station.

As far my brother had any say in it, Ruiz would never be found, and the myth, the meme, could live on forever. The evil slasher come to life to terrorize a group of innocent teens on prom night. Leaving one not so virginal survivor and her stalwart and tight lipped boyfriend.

There was something about that the normies liked, a divine ritual fulfilled. Like Hollywood had been setting them up for the very occurrence, and been vindicated in the best possible way. Slipped right in place into their cultural consciousness like it was another Friday night.

With that and a little help from our man in the high castle with a claw for a hand it all seemed to wrap up nicely, a neat little bow of red tape, signed sealed and delivered by uncle Sam himself.

I continued to pretend to cry, just making the noise of crying and covering my face, constantly batting away fake tears, no one was watching.

“You need another tissue?” My au-sister Mary Anne asked, pulling a fresh pack out of her purse and giving me a tight restrained smile.

We’d settled on my just calling her my aunt; aunt-sister was a bit of a mouthful, and calling her by her name just felt weird. Plus, I really didn’t want to get bogged down in explaining to people that she wasn’t actually my aunt, but in fact my estranged half-sister, pretending to be my aunt, because we’d watched our real aunt butchered before our eyes, then be put on display like a hunting trophy by our brother, my half-brother. That all seemed best tucked away for a rainy day.

“Thanks,” I took the tissues, smiling a nice fake smile, far better than my brother’s. My estimation of how deep the knife had penetrated Dharma’s side was off by a wide margin.

I would’ve assumed he didn’t want to kill her but necessity for his own life had forced him to act. Similarly, the shot being off-center, it would’ve been nice to think she’d extended him the same courtesy but that might’ve been a stretch, since she mostly carried really strong pepper spray, giving out tickets in cycle shorts. Never the less, her arm was in a fashionable sling for some reason. I never understood why they did that in movies; he hadn’t stabbed her in the arm.

A sudden prodding feeling roused me from my daydream, and I looked over at the grave and the nice picture they had over it. It was the one of the several taken at her sweet sixteen. Wendy did look nice in that one, so full of life. Who would’ve suspected her of anything worse than forgetting to floss?

That feeling again, like someone walking over my grave, someone drilling little hot holes in the back of my head.

I scanned the crowd of her fake friends, the rest of the cheerleading squad, her many exes—the last notwithstanding—and me, her best friend.

Then I saw her.

She was hard to miss, now that I’d noticed her. Dressed as she was, in correctional-facility orange, and chained to two cops. Her dark deep set eyes sent me icy daggers on angel wings. Her hair was long and greasy looking and made curtains of a plain white flat unmade face. Prison make-unders were a real thing.

What did they have against makeup in prison? It wasn’t like eyeliner was against the law. Conditioner even.

Wendy’s mother, the one currently on trial for the murder of her husband. Looking right at me. Not around, not past, but through me.

She knew.

I could see it in her face.

I didn’t know how she knew, but I’d find out given half a chance, when that happy vicious moon was smiling high in the sky again.

D and I would ask nicely.

Starhip troopers tv show pilot Part 9

Hey there,

I was busy yesterday so no blogging could be achieved and I probably wont have new content next week because I’m working a lot but hey gotta make that bread right.

More starship troopers stuff, I keep seeing that meme going around that they’re making a new tv show but I don’t see any development, I think it was like I thought. It’s just someone trying to meme it into reality, it’s not actually happening. I really hope it doesn’t happen because obviously I dream of making it myself, but I know no one else but me will do it justice. 
I know it’s going to be super progressive woke garbage and won’t do the original source material justice. It’ll just regurgitate the stuff from the movies to pay lip service to them and completely shit on the book.

Oh that reminds me I just got a horrible taste in my mouth because netflix just released the cast for the cowboy bebop live action tv show and it’s even worse than the witcher, oh my fucking god, how do they keep getting away with this?
Jet and Faye are ok but who cares about them? Spike is who matters and there’s no sugar coating it they literally hired Harold from Harold and Kumar to be Spike fucking Spiegel. An asian actor who has no martial arts experience as far as I know, but does Spike Spiegel sound like an asian name? 
Cowboy Bebop always played the racial card close to the chest because these are people literally being born and raised on other planets. Spike is a martian literally, and his influences are obviously western and he’s based on an asian cop character as far as I know and Bruce Lee. So I mean by all means make him asian as long as you get an asian who has martial arts experience and can do Jeet Kune do. 
Don’t hire a random asian guy from fucking stoner comedies that suck. 

The problem we have is that there aren’t really any martial arts actors anymore, outside of the guys from the raid and Keanu reeves (Who would’ve made an excellent spike when he was younger). Martial arts movies aren’t really a thing anymore in the west. Action movies aren’t even really a thing. All we have are these sterile castrated comic book movies that are just glorified kids movies that appeal to perpetually stunted adults.

Which should be right up my alley right? Wrong.

Gone are the days Arnie engages in strangely philosophical action killing sprees, now he just makes movies that mock those movies.

Big block buster movies aren’t made for adults anymore, even the deadpool movies weren’t really for adults, they were just the same childish shit dialed up to 11 with no filter. Logan was what we really wanted and what the comic book movies could have been if the people who made these movies gave a shit about anything other than making stinking piles of money.

I gotta stop because I could rant about this for days and I really need to do some proof reading since I lost yesterday.

See you…

 

EXT. Terra in a park. Day

 

 

A couple of MI troops approach a bunch of kids. One of the troops holds up his weapon.

 

 

Mi troop

 

 

A fully automatic

bareeta

, who wants to hold it?

 

 

The kids jump up and down shouting.

 

 

Kids

 

 

ME! ME! ME!

 

 

The soldiers chuckle to themselves happily as they watch the kids fight over who gets to hold the gun.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Citizen rule, fighting together for a better tomorrow.

 

 

They show one of the kids how to aim it and hold it.

 

 

They start handing out bullets to touch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

InT. a federal missile silo.

 

 

A giant missile is moved on a rail system.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

It’s big it’s deadly and everyone has an opinion on the new Q bomb!

 

 

VOICE OVER (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Experts worry about the ethics of a bomb so powerful it can crack a planet.

 

 

We see a graphic

represention

of the bomb blowing up a whole planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. terra outside a courthouse. Day.

 

 

A middle aged politician addresses a camera with his aides behind him as he descends the steps of a courthouse.

 

 

JACQUES LANCASTER

 

 

The creation of a planet that can destroy an entire planet is a dangerous precedent for the entire human race.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

InT. interview room. Day.

 

 

We cut to an interview with Murray Rosenthal credited as an expert in a graphic.

 

 

Murray Rosenthal

 

 

What people fail to realize is how many planets there are, would any average citizen even notice if one were missing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. outside a federal building. Day.

 

 

A video of an explosion at a federal building.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

A bombing earlier today injuring many on federal service men is believed to be at the hands of the terrorist organization know as the Gonneck peace movement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ExT. outside a courthouse. Day.

 

 

A video of a fat man in a wheelchair with meddles on his chest is holding up a peace sign board and shouting into a megaphone.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

This man Elmo Gonneck, head of this movement is wanted for questioning.

 

 

Elmo gonneck

 

 

Get that camera out of my face.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

If you see something, say something, you could be in for a big fat reward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

InT. a studio. Night.

 

 

In a studio two academics are having a disagreement about the treatment of the

skinnies

.

 

 

VOICE OVER

 

 

Federal scientists grapple with the moral issues surrounding the pacification of the

skinnies

.

 

 

Woman

 

 

The way we’ve treated those poor creatures is barbaric, it’s inhumane.

 

 

Man

 

 

Are you listening to yourself?

 

 

MAN (

CONT’D

)

 

 

It’s right there in the middle of the word ‘inhumane’.

 

 

MAN (

CONT’D

)

 

 

The word you’re looking for is ‘human’.

 

 

MAN (

CONT’D

)

 

 

They’re not human, they’re alien and they’re a threat.

 

 

WoMAN

 

 

My research states that they’re a peaceful race of people and they deserve the respect…

 

 

MAN

 

 

They’re not

humana

and they don’t ‘deserve’ a damn thing and frankly I find it offensive you’d even suggest such a thing.

 

Cur Part 2 chapter 6 ‘The living word’

Yo,
Wanna get this out of the way quick because I’ve been currently reserving thursday for escaping my current state of wage slavery for a better state of wage slavery somewhere sunnier haha.
Or I might do some spamming but I’ve been blackpilled on that for a while now since I keep getting banned and spamming on gab or twitter or minds is basically a waste of time. And even spamming on facebook maybe five people see it unless you throw some money behind it and even then it’s just some fucking asshole telling me I need an editor for my raw manuscript, no fucking shit I need an editor. So fucking constructive, it’s why I hate writing groups. Most writers are assholes, myself included, they don’t want to help you, they want to stand on your face and make a slamdunk haha. Those groups are cancerous, full of bullshit political shit and crabs in a bucket that want to get together to justify their own mediocrity.
What I hate more than anything is those posts from like people who have an example of someone who succeeded or got famous in their like fifties or sixties and it’s usually someone you’ve never heard of haha. And they’re like ‘success has no age’ or some bullshit designed to make people who are younger and suck think that one day they’ll make it. It’s there to like ease tensions and make people think they have plenty of time, but in reality all it does is make people complacent. If you make people think they don’t have to chase their dreams right now they’ll put it off and they’ll keep putting off til it’s dead.
Like my brother is always telling me that there are actors who didn’t get famous until they were like forty, but the thing is they were putting in the work in their thirties while he does fuck all haha. It’s just something that he tells himself so he doesn’t need to do anything now but wait til the toothfairy drops it in his lap haha.
I’m not giving up my dream but I guess I’m kicking it down the road because right now seeing my daughter is more important, it’s the only thing. What’s the point of succeeding if I can’t be with her?
So I am going to find a job in barbados and I am going to be with her and I’ll work out the writing part later, because I do have my whole life to do that but every day I lose those precious moments with her and that’s something I can never get back.
Besides my inspiration is in the toilet lately without her and her mother. Everything I write just seems shitty and lifeless lately and it’s because I need to get real and get the fuck out of here. I need stability, I need a real job and I need to be with my daughter and I can work the other stuff out later.
And I know I’m selfish and autistic and I’ll hate working so hard and wish I was at home playing videogames all day but I’ll tell myself that I’m doing it for selfish reason, that being with her and being there brings me more joy… and I can still play videogames occasionally haha.
Ok shit, I need to stop talking about this and actually makes some waves to make it happen. Kinda got all my hopes wrapped up in this perfect hotel job which I’m perfect for, it’s basically the same job I do here but not in hell four thousand miles away from my baby. But I need to find more to apply to, I can’t keep putting all my eggs in one basket.
K gotta jet.
See you…
The horses snorted, their breathe heavy and hanging in the cold air near the peak of the devil’s ladder.
Ogma climbed down from the coachman’s seat, he took some time to inspect the horses and tug at their bridles to make sure they were secure.
Once he was satisfied he trod the deep snow and stopped for a moment outside the door of the carriage before calling out. “My lady, we have arrived.”
Ogma then opened the carriage door and stepped back to kneel in the snow holding his hand aloft for princess Ernmas to take.
His hand was large and wrapped in a thick riding glove covered in filth, dried blood and snow. Noticing this he took it off and discarded it in the snow.
His hand was lithe but looked strong and nimble, she filled it with her smooth dainty hand the colour of milk, almost weightless. She made her way down from the carriage, carrying herself with regal nobility but with a slight smile that betrayed her sadness. Her eyes carrying the same wisdom as her fathers but also an innocence that bared hiding from the world.
Standing alone now she walked through the snow coming around the other side of the carriage.
Ogma reached into the carriage where sat a square package wrapped delicately. He retrieved it with the utmost care and lifting it gently with both hands and climbing down from the carriage as slow and gracefully as possible.
“I don’t see it.” She said softly.
Ogma went to her side, the package in his arms “Look closer my lady”
The princess turned and instantly looked at the package, a wave of regret and sadness passing over as she seemed to smile and sigh. “I’d almost forgotten about that” She said wistfully, melancholy hanging heavy on her delicate features. Turning back to the shape unfolding in front of her she narrowed her vision and slowly as the snow thick white wind abated she saw a contrast. A line forming around a white shape.
“I see it, it’s amazing, it must be some sort of sorcery.” She gasped with childlike wonder.
Perhaps, an illusion, possibly the weather and a trick of the eye.” Ogma said.
Before them stood a castle naturally camoflouged by the weather. It seemed to be designed to do exactly that. The castle itself was low slung and seemed to follow the natural curve of the mountain plateau it rested on. The buildings jutting out unevenly to mimic the shape of a natural rock formation. The light colour of the stone and the snow making it seem almost invisible against the skyline. A narrow path towards the portcullis too was shielded by a thick embankment of trees and it snaked up the sheer face of the cliff at odd angles. A wall surrounding the castle seemed to melt into the snow covered trees. The castle itself rising only slightly higher than the wall but for one white spire which stood at it’s highest point.
“The spire, I bet he can see the whole valley from that point.”
“Most likely.” Ogma agreed.
She turned with a whimsical smile and said “This is the top of the devils ladder.”
“Yes my lady.”
“Well lets see if he’s in” She smiled.
Cur’s laughter echoed through the hall. The room was vaste, the ceilings seemed higher than was possible due to the squat nature of the castle. The hall was stark, naked of any furnishing but for one cyclopean door cast in bronze and gold with a carving of a giant evil eye on it. Cur’s laughter abated as he looked around the oversized room. The floors and walls seemed to be slicked with some strange viscous substance and there was an odd smell. The walls and floors bore deep scratches not made by any man. The smell, it was faint but it was familiar, blood and something else much worse.
“Is this Balor shaking, does he fear me?” Cur croaked grinning.
“Balor fears no man” The strange voice under the veil said.
“Then he can show himself to me” Cur laughed staring at the strange gaunt figure in the mask.
“You will see my face, although I have many.” A child’s voice said.
The robed woman and the man in the mask stepped to aside and in their place stood a small redheaded boy wearing a long green tunic made of spun silk. The face of the boy child was pale and freckled but the eyes and the expression were that of a man certainly. The eyes shining an evil purple, their glare seeming to pierce through Cur. The childs smile presented as innocence but betrayed a deep malevolence as he surveyed the barbarian coldly. As if he were a bull being readied for gelding.
“Does this face please you firbolg?” The child smiled but there was something unnatural about it, it was just a little too wide and the way his face moved didn’t move as skin and bone should. The movement was almost akin to how an eel or a snakes flesh moved. His face moved as if it had no bones at all. “Perhaps you’re wondering why I had you brought before me, but I suspect you already know.”
Cur began to laugh morbidly, his eyes wide and mad.
The boy smirked once more with his ghoulish unnatural face, pale and bonny the mask covering ancient horror. “I have heard tale that you are undead and cannot be killed by mortal weapon.” The boy smirked and walked closer to the barbarian. “My eye is no mortal weapon, tomorrow morning at sun rise you will feels its power and be but ash.” The boy smiled.
Cur laughed again.
“I have been tasked as your executioner, a job in which I relish and comes with it a certain poetry” The boy smiled wickedly. “As it was I that dealt the final blow to the clan firbolg.”
Princess Ernmas lifted her cloak almost up over her knees and began to trudge eagerly through the snow. Slowly working her way up the snaking path lined by snow covered rowan trees.
“Wait my lady, allow me to lead the way!” Ogma shouted after her trudging the deep snow along the path, his words blown away by the terrible biting mountain wind.
Nevertheless he returned to his charge’s side within the maze. Under the chin of the overgrown rowan trees that loomed over the path, almost blotting out the sky over head. On the other hand they also shielded them from the terrible winds sweeping up the mountain.
If you want to read the rest of this chapter head on over to Inkitt

Diana in the dark chapter 16 ‘Dark Descendants’ (remurdered)

Hey there what’s up?

Don’t really have much to talk about this week, just been working and watching the expanse which I still really love. It’s just really well written and every character that annoys when they’re first introduced has grown on you by the end of the season and I really love that.

They introduced this ‘stronk empowered wamen’ character in season 2 who just seemed really generic and annoying at the start of the season and now I really like her arch. They just really developed and rounded her out from her introduction. She like starts off as this generic badass and then she becomes sort of a fish out of water character to a rebel and then comes full circle to be really bad ass again but by then I was really rooting for her. I mean yeah it doesn’t really make sense for her to be ability to beat the shit out of grown men especially considering she’s a martian and supposed to have weaker bones and she’s fighting earthers who live under higher gravity. But martian marines are supposed to train under higher gravity and she isn’t tiny and skinny, she does look kind of built a little. Not overly so but it’s more believable and then of course she’s most effective when wearing power armor.

All round, I’m just loving the show and the world and the characters, just another great- I was about to say show on amazon but then I googled it and apparently it was originally on scy fy but then got cancelled after season 3. Which just seems fucking crazy to me, unless it dips in quality in season 3 dramatically to a point where you would drop the whole show which would have to be drastic I’d say it was budget related because looking at the visuals in this show it cannot be cheap to make. So if it’s pulling in good to fair numbers I can see why it might get axed by scy fy for just not be cost effective. But I love it and I hope it keeps going on amazon like Bosch and Sneaky Pete.

I also watched the Shazam movie and it was ok, I don’t really want to do a review on it because I didn’t really have strong feelings about it in either direction. Just a pretty solid fun movie. I didn’t think it was as good as aquaman which I think is the top of the shitpile of modern dc movies.

The story is basic, the characters are ok, the action is good, I liked the feel and the tone and how it really puts you in the ‘Big’ mindset where you’re like ‘What would I do in this situation?’. I think it takes the perspective of the audience and makes it a lot more relate-able than other comic book movies.

But I think the message of the movie is shitty and half baked and it suffers from the same syndrome most movies do today where it has no real middle. It’s like some surgical nightmare where a chick has huge fake tits and a huge fake ass but their waste is too small to support them both and they just snap in the middle under the pressure haha.

The middle of this movie is basically one five minute montage and then all we’re left with is a really bloated first and third act. This is the only reason aquaman is top for me because it was more balanced, it had a really satisfying second that made the film feel more like a journey. It felt like a movie from the eighties and it was great.

There really just isn’t enough meat to the story or the middle bit to carry us through to the end, which is why it’s just ok.

And the reason I said I hated the message is because the message is basically “family” in air quotes but then proceeds to totally shit on the family. Because the message isn’t really family, it’s totally anti-family as it represents real blood related families as shitty people who hate and treat you like shit and abandon you because someone else can do a better job. Your actual parents will neglect you and fuck you up and you’ll kill them or forget they exist and instead embrace a group of ethnically diverse strangers as your ‘real’ family to take on the big bad guy who had his real family screw him up.
It’s very subversive and I don’t take kindly to this narrative that ‘anyone can be your family’ any group of random people cannot be a family. A family is defined by blood relation, any other definition is an attack on the family, attempting to water down and erase the meaning of the word, which if you’ve read 1984 isn’t a good thing. Words are nice, keeping their meaning is important, so let’s stop trying to undermine them and reinvent for a silly political agenda.

The most healthy and enriching environment for a child is still the nuclear family, no matter what some trendy buzzfeed article might say, having a mom and a dad is still much better than not having them on average. I’m not trying to say some people can’t be shitty parents or single parents can’t be great, or foster kids can’t turn out great. I’m talking about averages, not one off, I’m talking about the rule not the exceptions that prove the rule. You coming to me and saying ‘but I was adopted and blah blah blah’ doesn’t prove anything, you’re one of like a billion people, your anecdotal evidence is meaningless when compared to the stats of the thousands of other people that didn’t get so lucky.

Anyway rant over and I don’t think a review is necessary, it’s ok. Pretty standard for comic book movies today just being alright. Kids will love it but hopefully wont internalise the subversive message.

I don’t really think it’s worth a cinema visit because the budget isn’t that amazing, it’s sort of a smaller movie, you’re not gonna get as much out of it as you would seeing the avengers in the cinema. But it’s worth a stream.

Anyway, got proofreading to do for the latest chapter of Cur 2, didn’t get much done this week because work stuff completely kicked my ass but hopefully next week will be different, probably wont be though haha.

See you…

I just sat there for a moment looking down at it, turning the would-be weapon in my hand, getting a feel for the weight. The weight of his words swished around in my head. I didn’t have to ask if everything was true; it just made some sort of insane sense, a puzzle piece falling into place.

This was what I waiting for.

“What do I do?” I asked.

“Whatever you want.” Brodie—my brother—smiled that prepackaged smile.

A lapping feeling of black waves poured over me, covering me, feet first. It was like a dream, like a wish realized. A whole dark world opened up before me, welcoming me like some returning hero from long exile.

I was home, whatever that meant.

I went from a sad emo only child with a serial killer blog to Dark Diana Mistress of the Damned with not one but two siblings of the night at her side, more or less.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, suddenly rising to a mid-crouch, the ceiling was far too low for his stature. He leaned over Wendy, and opened each eye, then gave her a few little love taps to bring her just to the brink of consciousness. “I gave them just a little more than you to keep them under. I didn’t know whether you wanted them to talk, sometimes I like them to talk, confess, scream, spit, whatever.” My brother paused and looked down at her like she was Christmas ham and looked back up at me. Smiling that plastic smile. “It seems necessary sometimes, but it’s up to you. I think she’s past a confession at this point.”

“I know all I need to,” I said stonily.

“I figured as much.” He smirked.

Wendy’s eyes rolled back and forth under her lids and then fluttered. She looked around, obviously confused. Unable to move her head, as it was pinned with plastic wrap across her forehead. She saw me and her eyes went hot and spicy; I could almost see blood squirting out of them.

I could feel it then, my heart pounding, the dark dancer gripped the knife, moved my hand, and my feet went on their own. I let go, let it take me, as it purred incessantly in my ears.

I stood, as if someone yanked my strings, and glided over to her side, staring down at her.

She was beautiful, a perfect specimen, really. It was a shame. A beautiful tragedy.

Wendy was my friend, kind of. That was what made it special, the setting, the night, the company.

She looked up at me with wide terrified eyes now, she’d seen the knife, she could no doubt feel the squashing pressure of it now. The helplessness, the hopelessness. The cornered animal; anger leaving and being replaced with a dreadful reflection. She could feel it now, no doubt see it in my empty eyes.

Wendy knew she was about to be swallowed, there was no other way. Not a muscle she could move, not a penny she could spend, not an eyelid she could flutter. Nothing would spare her this, this was fate, this was the end, her end, and it was as beautiful and poetic an end I could ever hope to see.

Only one question savaged me; where to start?

I put my hands through her hair, making a soothing mocking cooing noise. It’s sibilant voice humming below my own.

Tears leaked from her eyes, and she made a pitiful mewling noise, a white frothy spittle gathered under the tape around her mouth.

I felt the boney fingers curling on top of mine, squeezing the knife, lifting my hand like Abraham, but no one would call out, no loving god would stop this.

It came down like a guillotine falling, such beautiful effortless purpose, a thread through the head of a needle.

The knife entered her torso just under her ribs, she gasped as the cool steel touched her. An almost ecstatic sound of breath escaped and held, resisting, then relenting. Her body tensed and went limp. Only her eyes held onto some tiny spark of something.

I stood there for a moment feeling it. Life, death, power, powerless, emptiness. A tingling sensation traveled down my back and to my legs as I continued to cut.

She breathed raspily over spurts of disgusting sticky blood. Her fingers dancing and convulsed under the plastic.

I was somewhere about two inches into her chest cavity when she finally died, near her heart. I felt it stop beating, listlessly clinging to life just for the sake of routine.

Wendy slowly wound down like a clock, just slipping away. Her golden skin; pallid and white, specks of blood on her face.

I’d managed to keep most of it contained the plastic did the rest. There was something there, a tremendous feeling of relief, something I’d been holding onto let go. Like I’d discovered a phantom limb left to atrophy. A balled fist finally unclenched, a third eye opened, a set of wings stretched for the first time. A complete unwinding of a tension I didn’t even know I’d stored up over a lifetime.

Released all at once and all at once I knew I’d have to do it again, and soon.

 

Starship troopers pilot part 8

Yeah so I had a work thing on thursday and when I got home I felt like shit and didn’t want to do anything, hence no content haha.

Which is fine because the only person I let down is myself as always.

I decided just to call them ‘parts’ instead of scenes because the scenes are so short some of them I just decided to lump them together.

This scene specifically is displaying the incongruities between the book and the movie. Because in the movie he’s dating Carmen and they break up and there’s this love square going on. But in the book they’re more like acquaintances and they go on one date later on. They’re not in love, the book isn’t about love, Diz isn’t even a character in the book, he’s just a guy who dies in the first chapter haha.

So there’s no love triangle, there’s no square, there isn’t even a love line or a love circle haha.

And although I’m sort of super autistic about romances, I don’t know how to write a good romance and although I think including romance in your story is sort of played out, I really do think it’s necessary and I appreciate a good romance in a story. As long as it’s not tacky or too over the top. 

Like for instance the romance in the expanse is handled really well. There are two romances one between a cop and a girl he knows is dead. And another between the two main characters which I really like. Because in shows like this you either get these shitty ‘will they won’t they’ romances where they constantly dangle a romance and never deliver or deliver at the end. Or they have the romance and it has rocky patches here and there and what not and it seems like it’s going for the later but so far I like it. It’s nice, not too in your face or over the top and I think one of the reasons I might be having feelings for my ex is that Naomi really reminds me of her. I know it’s really stupid.

A good example of a shitty over the top romance is probably between Geralt and Yenniffer in the witcher books. Because their romance is like built up to be this epic, world altering romance but in every other part of the book they’re just two people that are kind of asshole and hate eachother haha. Yennifer is probably one of the least likeable characters of all the books and Geralt is sort of a nothing character, he’s just an audience insert. So the romance is really wooden but you’re meant to believe it’s shakespeare because of how it’s built up, but it’s just cringe. As you can tell I’m team Triss haha.

Yeah so I included the romance but sort of left a little more to the imagination. I elevated the non-romance in the book and brought the romance down a notch from the movie. So it’s like a sliding scale of narrative romance the lowest being no romance going up to ‘will they won’t they’ to the highest ‘oh they did and it fucked up’ haha.

I didn’t watch a film this week or have anything worth reviewing, just been in a miasma of work and videogames and hating life. I barely managed to get a chapter done this week. Which is shameful considering I could average a chapter a day at one point. I dunno, my mind is just on trying to find a new job and be with the people most important to me right now. I’m sort of shelving writing but I can’t actually stop so I’m just keeping my pen moving.

But I can’t complain really, well I can and I will but you know.

Well that’s enough for today. I will have a chapter of Cur done by thursday for all those masses of no people that read this.

See you…

INT. Rico parents house. Day.

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

You’re going to

harvard

, not throwing your life away like this.

 

 

RicO

 

 

It’s my life, my decision, not yours! I’m going!

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

You’re going on vacation and that’s the last of it. You’ll resign, it’ll look bad but it’s better than wasting your life.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

I wont quit! I wanna be a citizen!

 

 

RiCO’S DAD

 

 

If you walk out of that door you’re cut off, do you understand me?

 

 

Rico walks off, his mother takes him by the arm,

 

 

 

 

 

Rico’S MOM

 

 

Johnny does citizenship really mean that much to you?

 

 

RiCO’S MOM (

CONT’D

)

 

 

No one in mine or your fathers family has ever had citizenship and look at us, the nice house we live, the life we live.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

(Hesitantly) Yeah, I guess.

 

 

Rico’S MOM

 

 

I hope you’re not ruining your life over some silly little girl who wants you to look handsome putting on a uniform.

 

 

RICO

 

 

It’s not – it’s not like that. I can’t explain it. I just – I just need to get out on my own.

 

 

Rico walks off to the station with his bags packed.

 

 

RicO’S MOM

 

 

Johnny!

 

 

 

 

 

ExT. A pARK. DAY

 

 

Johnny and Carmen are enjoying a day at the park when a weird blue light fills the atmosphere. The ground shakes and rocks start to float in the air as everything around them is decimated.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. ROGER YOUNG SPACE SHIP.

 

 

Rico is in a darkened room in the ship looking down at the earth through a huge window as it’s destroyed by a giant blue plasma meteorite. He watches the earth turning black and dying.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. Karl’s house. Night.

 

 

Rico wakes up in a cold sweat from his dream staying the night at Karls house to escape his parents.

 

 

He goes to get a drink of water and stares up into space at all the stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. Outside the transit hub on terra. Day.

 

 

Karl, Johnny and Carmen are meeting up to say their final

goodbyes

before they set off on their tour of service.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

You ready?

 

 

RICO

 

 

I’m wearing everything I own?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

I told you your dad wouldn’t go for it.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Thanks for letting me stay at your place last night.

 

 

KARL

 

 

What are friends for?

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Johnny, I’m sorry.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

It’s fine, the federation will give me everything I need for the next two years right?

 

 

KARL

 

 

Right

 

 

RICO

 

 

So Karl did you get

starside

R&D?

 

 

KARL

 

 

I don’t know yet, they said I need to undergo more tests in an off site facility, whatever that means. But a little birdie tells me

Carmencita

is heading off to the fleet academy.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

A little birdie

eh

?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Carmen, that’s great.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

What about you Johnnie?

 

 

KaRL

 

 

Yeah tough guy what did you even put down as preference?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Hey that’s personal

ok

and I don’t know either, they need to run more tests too, I guess.

 

 

KaRL

 

 

Well,

ok

. I guess this is it.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Hey, let’s make a pact

ok

? Let’s promise

nomatter

what happens that we’ll always be friends.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Friends?

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Friends

 

 

KarL

 

 

Well we’ll probably be in

seperate

galaxies light years away from

eachother

but sure why not?

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

That’s the spirit.

 

 

KARL

 

 

Anyway my transport is leaving soon so I gotta go.

 

 

KARL (

CONT’D

)

 

 

Bye for now.

 

 

RiCO

 

 

See ya soon buddy.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

Good luck Karl

 

 

CARMEN (

CONT’D

)

 

 

My transport is leaving soon too

 

 

RicO

 

 

I’ll see you off, help you with your luggage.

 

 

Rico helps her with her bags as she goes to the terminal.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Are you sure, you might be late to your shuttle?

 

 

RiCO

 

 

Yeah of course.

 

 

She leads him off towards her shuttle platform.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I couldn’t let you go without a proper goodbye.

 

 

CARMEN

 

 

A ‘proper goodbye’.

 

 

He puts her bags down.

 

 

RICO

 

 

Well you know.

 

 

He takes her and kisses her.

 

 

RICO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

I love you.

 

 

She boards the shuttle still looking at him.

 

 

RiCO (

CONT’D

)

 

 

You can say it too.

 

 

CaRMEN

 

 

Goodbye Johnny

 

 

The shuttle pulls away and jets off into space leaving Rico staring at his own reflection as there’s nothing but darkness there now.

 

 

Mary Poppins 2019 (cash grab edition) review

So this is a weird one for me because I don’t usually review kids movies, I don’t usually watch kids movies. But Mary Poppins is a classic from my childhood so I felt I had to watch just to gauge how desperate and depraved the industry had gotten. I wanted to know how absolutely out of ideas they are and they didn’t disappoint. There isn’t a single new idea to be found.

Where to begin with this movie? How would I describe it in one word? Uninspired? Pointless? Flaccid? Cynical?

Ok that’s a lot of words.

I didn’t expect much from this but I expected to be pleasantly surprised since this is a weird franchise to bring back. So you know right off the bat the movie is back either because they have new exciting ideas or want to be more true to the books or they’re just desperate for cash and want to dig up an old movie to milk for nostalgia.

Imagine my shock that it’s the latter.

The first thing that shocked me was the fact it’s not a remake it’s trying to be a cannon sequel. I didn’t know whether to be mad or impressed by the chutzpah it took to do that. It’s like bringing out a sequel to the bible. You can’t even be mad, you’re just stunned someone would have the gaul to do that.

So I’m like ‘ok ok lets just see what happens’, then proceed to be bored for two hours as the movie is basically a shot for shot remake of the original but worse.
First off this movie just confuses me because Mary Poppins just shows up, but only specifically for this family and no one questions why and why she hasn’t aged more than just mentioning it off the cuff, seriously is she a vampire? Is she satan? With a different director this could have been a horror movie. A weird magical being comes down from the sky to be alone with this guys kids.

The casting is ok I guess, I mean Julie Andrews was practically perfect in every way and honestly Emily Blunt kinda comes off as a bitch. I don’t know how Julie Andrews did it but she was stern but never came off like she thought her shit didn’t stink.

Mentioning Julie Andrews is weird because the movie has a bunch of really weird and bad cameos, notably from Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury and Meryl Streep? Julie Walters is of course in every English kids film now for reasons. And I know Julie Andrews is still alive and they must have asked her to come back in a cameo but she had to have turned it down and I can see why. The Angela Lansbury cameo is weird because this movie did seem like it was ripping off Bedknobs and Broomsticks a lot which is my number one childhood movie and if they do a shitty cash grab remake of that I will burn disney down (in minecraft).

Because there’s this shitty singalong bit where they’re having a bath and they go under the sea for no particular plot reason, it’s just an excuse for a song and some cg. Whereas in Bedknobs they actually needed to go under the sea. It wasn’t an excuse to use the cgi budget.

Meryl Streep is the weirdest cameo because just why? What kids movies is she famous for? Sophie’s choice? It’s just a weird choice, I guess it’s just because of her singing in Momma mia maybe, I dunno. It just felt really out of place and her scene is just a crappy remake of the floating house scene in the original. And it was totally irrelevant to the plot.

Because they have a magical trip into the painting of this vase which is a crappy remake of the scene when they enter the chalk painting in the original. But then they chip the vase and have to get it fixed by Meryl Streep who can fix anything apparently. And the reason they need it fixed is because they need money or they’ll lose their house to the bank or whatever. So she fixes it but it turns out its not worth anything so everything up to that point in the movie is just a waste of time with shitty broadway musical interludes with the most forgettable songs ever.

The plot couldn’t be more basic; ‘Oh no evil white male bankers trying to steal my house, we need money to save the house’. I mean is there an older plot? I could think of like ten movies that did this better right off the bat.

My thing with this movie is it’s sort of trying to copy the appeal of Paddington, the thing with that though is Paddington had never been done on the big screen I don’t think. His re-imagining was necessary and the movies were fun. The stories were basic but the characters and jokes were good. They’re both enjoyable films. But I feel like this movie just exists to capitalise on that, it exists not because someone knew it needed to happen but because someone knew they needed a new boat.

It’s not a bad movie, it’s just not good enough to exist. It just ok, and just being ok doesn’t warrant a remake or a reboot or a direct sequel. If you’re going to dig up the corpse of a classic you better make that shit shine and they didn’t, everything about it is just bog standard and lazy and by the numbers which is just frustrating. It’s cynicism leaps off the screen and when you see through the bright light you see the rotting corpse of the original movie being puppetted around on stage by greedy soulless blood sucking producers who have no tact and no respect for a classic movie and would probably dig up their mothers to pluck out her gold fillings.

The movie as a whole from the songs and the acting and the accents feels like a school play or a broadway adaptation of the movie, it doesn’t feel cannon to it’s own world. It feels cheap, it feels like an imitation of the original and it stinks. It’s like they tried to cargo cult the original movie, the name is there, the settings and the music but the spirit and the magic that made the movie what it was just isn’t.
I mean they replace Dick Van Dyke’s chimney sweep character with this schlubby guy who’s a ‘Lamplighter’, oh bro that’s so creative, that’s nothing like a chimney sweep. And of course there’s a part where all the lamplighters dance like the chimney sweep scene but less good. I don’t know if I can’t like anything anymore but I remember liking the dancing in the original and the dancing and songs just sort washed over my face without really registering in this movie.

Don’t waste your time on it and show your kids the original movie, because it still has the same magic this movie totally fails to recapture.

Last warning hollywood/disney; Stay away from this angry gymcel manbabies childhood!
If you come for the goonies or bedknobs and broomsticks all bets are off! (In roblox)

 

Diana in the dark chapter 15 ‘The build up’ (remurdered)

Hey there,

So I got fuck all done this week, call it ‘writers block’ if you want but I don’t really get that I just need to think about a scene in the shower and it usually unravels, don’t ask me how that works. But it leads to like hour long showers and stupidly high water bills to create well structured scenes no one reads haha.

But this week I was busy with work and other things and I just couldn’t focus so I ended up writing about a line or two max. Don’t fret imaginary people I still have content for thursday.

I worry less about keeping to schedule than I do churning out garbage and half of me is thinking I shouldn’t have started this book in my current state because I’m ruining it and there’s really no going back. But I mean fuck what am I ruining? No one cares, why should I? I’m gonna keep on keeping on basically.

Weird enough though I was thinking I should’ve done Diana 2 instead of embarking on fantasy epic trilogy. I dunno why, I was just thinking about how I felt when I wrote that and the music I was listening. A lot of my feelings are tied up in that idea. Because when I was reading the books that inspired it I was deeply in love with the woman I thought would be the love of my life, safe to say that’s not the case now.

But at the time, it’s like that music and that subject matter conjures up those feelings for me. Which is pretty fucked up since those books are like the least romantic books ever and mine are exactly the same haha. I guess there must be something romantic about serial killers or people wouldn’t love them so much. Regardless, this book was crafted with that love and part of me recently has been longing for that. 

Maybe absence is making the heart grow fonder or I’m just forgetting all the stuff that made me mad.

Funny I watched that new Ted Bundy movie, the one with Zach Efron and it was a pretty shitty movie honestly. Because it couldn’t decide who the main character was and the editing made it feel more like a music video than a movie. It was just badly directed and written and paced, Zach Efron was incredible in it though and it did a good job making me doubt he actually did it. Because I mean if you look at all the evidence against him it really is just a pile of circumstantial stuff. There’s no hard evidence and we see all the time that the police fake this stuff when they like someone for a crime and need to close it. DNA apparently is about as reliable as a chocolate condom but we’re made to believe it’s the nail in the coffin. Also fibre evidence was debunked as basically a hoax not too long ago. The fbi was exposed as completely fabricating it. It was just something they could use to seal a case they didn’t have a lock on.

We see this kind of dishonest tactics used by the police constantly because the focus isn’t on finding the truth it’s just on closing cases to appease the public and the media. They don’t care about finding the right guy, they just care about finding someone that fits. And the person that fits is the one who can’t prove they didn’t do it.

Like you always hear people say “He was the nicest guy” when they talk about friends of serial killers but what if they were just really nice guys and they were caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and they’re using this to try and skew our perspective and make us believe something that goes against our own initial sense of a person.

I mean you can never really know and people ‘well he confessed’ yeah but for years he protested his innocence despite facing the death penalty and he said he confessed just to buy more time. When you put people against the wall they’ll confess to nearly anything. It amazes me how little actual evidence there is in cases like this. I always thought the murders that happened after he escaped jail were the nail in the coffin, but there actually isn’t a lot of evidence he did those and they didn’t even fit the MO of the original murders and it makes a lot more sense that they just had these murders with no suspects but since he was on the run it made sense to just pin them on him. It’s a pretty easy sell to the media.

Also in the movie, I’m not sure this happened in real life, but a cop totally lies in a deposition. You’d have to be a moron to believe his testimony, it’s so blatant. He says Bundy confessed off the record but it’s legal to bug interviews in that but somehow mysteriously the bug wasn’t working and just when he made this huge confession that he was a vampire. I laughed my ass, it was so silly, how did he think that would sound in court? It’s just nonsense.
It reminds me of this documentary I watched where this guy joked that he must have done the murders while he was sleeping but the cops took it literally and he spent the next 20 years in prison until he was released. They took an obvious joke as a confession and nailed him. It’s ridiculous, it makes ‘innocent until proven guilty’ look like a joke.

The legal system is totally broken.

But I suppose the movie was interesting just for that but I guess this is the biggest reason I’m against the death penalty. Because Bundy is dead, we’ll never know the truth, ever. He could’ve been working in prison to prove his innocence or writing books about the crimes proving his guilt once and for all. But that’ll never happen now because he’s dead.

Just not knowing and knowing I’ll never know makes me mad haha.

Anyway bit of digression, I guess. I’m just thinking things over and I even though I said I didn’t think it would work out with her and I believed that I always wanted it to. I always thought or I hoped that we would eventually end up together. Part of me still believes that and I know she believed that too considering how crazy she went over me dating someone else. 

I kinda thought if I dated someone else it would break that spell but it really didn’t, it might have made it even worse. I’ve probably fucked it up for good now, but I suppose it’s better to think that than to dream that someday we’ll make things worse. Not just because it’s sad but also because I don’t want to become complacent and imagine it’ll fall in my lap and then it just never does. If it’s real then I want to go out and get it myself.

Obviously it’s not my only motivation for wanting to move but it’s up there.

Anyway I’ve rambled enough, I think I might be a sad manbaby neat and do a review about Mary Poppins haha. Or look for more work, actually plan a future that isn’t a fucking smokescreen.

See you…

 

The outside air was hot, a tropical wind like a hair dryer blowing in my face. My caked make up courtesy of Wendy melted like a wax mask off my face.

Sirens in the distance crept over the shoreline, a sudden feeling of impending brain fart looming.

What could I do, except throw myself on the mercy of a barrage of police questions with only my cute-girl routine to fall back on. “It wasn’t me, Mr. Scary Policeman, it was the one armed man.”

It was a toss up to what disgusted me more; the thought I’d actually have to resort to that, or that it might actually work. Good looks didn’t last forever.

My number one priority was finding Paul, and getting as far the hell away from there as possible. With Wendy more or less dealt with, that only left her little commandment breaking brother, Denny.  Although, I struggled to think which if not all the commandments he’d broken, surely he didn’t honor his father or his mother. Incest and drug-taking were apparently just a given.

My plan was pretty slick; escaping out the rear fire door, since doubling back through the main hall might put me back on Wendy’s warpath. Considering she wasn’t buried under a ton of chipboard, which seemed a likely resting place for the wicked witch of the West Coast. Or even worse; an awkward conversation with Dharma over a dead cop. Also, I couldn’t pretend to hope Denny hadn’t heard the shots. Or for that matter had missed the waves of startled human cattle stampeding into the parking lot and disappearing into the night.

It was a good bet he thought he was well on his way to enacting some kind of bloody revenge on my hapless ‘aunt’ who wasn’t home. For—of course—ruining what could’ve been a lovely evening for his demented sister/possible lover. Or, option two—he was waiting with his hand on a large knife or gun for either me or his sister to come out. So they could then ship off to Aspen in the middle of the night and blow Orange County a kiss from the slopes with new names and probably new noses.

I opened the fire exit with a mechanical clunking noise followed by lots of banging and scraping and a distinct smell of week-old garbage. The back of the laser arcade was a tight and cluttered alley opening onto a strip mall behind the arcade.

The sirens were getting louder, so if Denny was still there he’d have to be getting more nervous and trigger-happy by the second.

I looked down at myself, at the silly pink prom dress. What was it I was planning to do exactly? Teen movie him to death?

A grave scraping, like death’s scythe in the shadows around my feet sent icy shivers up my bare ankle. It was followed by a bitter mocking chuckle from the dark back seat. I breathed out, and reached down to pick up whatever the hell I’d almost tripped over.

The moonlight lifted its lidded eyes a slant to shine down on this unholy implement. It was just a pipe, some kind of gas pipe maybe; no clue, really—I wasn’t a plumber. It was heavy on one end with a gnarly looking gauge or something sticking out.

Clue it is.

Who did that make me? Miss Scarlett or Madame Peacock? Was there a pink Clue character?

‘This will do nicely,’ the thing inside said; but not in so many words. Its teeth bared behind its leathery wings, sending a rush of blood through the tips of my fingers. It made me feel magnetized, electric, like I was sticking to the walls. Like I was Spiderman, crawling unseen above everyone’s heads, as I traced through the dark in my ridiculous pink dress—ruffles and all. Quietly, I worked my way along the side of the laser arcade, back around to the front.

The alley leading onto the strip mall was cramped, and smelled like old hamburger meat. No doubt it  was filthy. But the darkness was kind to it and me, as I peeked around the side of the pastel-colored building at the now more-or-less vacant parking lot.

Except for one stretch Hummer.

The parking lot was pretty well-lit but the moon had given me a few dark pools in which to wallow. There was a large billboard on wheels facing the road, and a few trucks dotted about. They probably belonged to the furniture store on the other side of the arcade.

With the pipe in hand, I hiked up my skirt like Lady Chatterley about to descend her carriage or walk over a pothole, skittering along the ground as low as possible. I came up behind the billboard and peeked out for a closer look.

There was no movement. Although, the tinted glass and the inherent clash of the shadows against the bright parking lot lights made it impossible to see inside. I smelled axel grease and looked down at my hands and dress. I was covered in it. The pipe was the obvious culprit. I made a silent yuck face and slipped back into the dark mask.

My body felt loosely coiled, the sensation of letting go mashed against the rising tide of ultimate control. Black powerful waves tossed tiny boats aside like they were in the bath tub of Cthulhu’s baby brother.

Slinking low, I made it around the back of a white truck, edging nearer to the limo, The sound of the sirens were getting closer, but not close enough. I wagered I had time, but for what?

Was I going to play with him right there and now before the cops could come and whisk me away to the local funny farm?

A quick bludgeoning, I had probably about two minutes max to deal with him, but no time to escape. Escape? Why would I do that? I was a hero, wasn’t I?

I’d dropped the castle on the Wicked Witch, and I was about to get the butler with the lead pipe in the parking lot. It would wrap up nicely, a neat little bow; not exactly how I expected it to go, but it was definitely a memorable evening.

I was actually surprised the cops weren’t here already. Cantwell really must have been going solo up until now, and I assumed hadn’t told anyone where he was on his unwarranted and illegal stake out of yours truly. The siren might have been for someone else, sirens are not an uncommon thing to hear in California. But surely one of the fleeing masses must have taken the time to dial 911. It was possible that a frantic crowd might just assume that everyone else was dialing 911 and they didn’t have to. Nevertheless staying around waiting for them wasn’t my best option for tonight’s entertainment.

I slipped around the truck, trying to keep the rustling noises of my dress to a minimum. As I got closer to the limo, I could hear music and now I could see around the other side.  The driver’s side door was open and the music was coming from inside. Some obnoxious dub step, blaring from the front seat but there was no movement. Maybe Denny was taking a nap, or had stepped out to take a leak. Was it even remotely possible he hadn’t noticed the stampede of teens in the parking lot?

Maybe heroin makes you deaf.

He could’ve just been dead on the front seat with a needle in his arm; that would’ve been neat albeit anti-climactic. I edged along the driver’s side of the limo. I was low, but kept my eyes on the wing mirrors to see inside. It was too dark to make out anything interesting, or hear anything above the annoying music and my heartbeat.

The heat of the tropical night gave way to a cold shiver from the pit of my stomach. A loose tittering of pronged chicken feet pricked my skin, as the dark one wrestled into the front seat and pulled me closer to the door. I was scared but it pulled me closer, and I couldn’t hope to resist, I was on rails, a twisted passenger on a ride in Dahmerland.

All the hairs on my neck raised and licked the air, feeling the vibrations. The night, pricks of light dancing on the head of a pin, so clear and sleek not black but a luminous detailed gray.

Through the mirror, I could see him. Denny was just sitting there bolt upright; not moving. Creeping closer, the wings at my back, a righteous wind made my foot fleet, and I closed the gap quickly and quietly, keeping flat against the limo.

Peering in at a low angle I could see one of his sneakers under the uniform, a splotch of what looked like cranberry juice on it.

 

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