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witcher tv show

GS2 Chapter 24 ‘Kinda outta luck’

Hey ho fellow humanoids,

This sadly will be the only blog for this week because my day job is about to get especially hectic over the following week and I’ll have absolutely zero time to work on that or anything else for that matter. I just have time today to do a little proofreading, maybe some spamming then hi ho hi ho it’s off to work I go.

What have I been up to, none other than revisiting everyone’s favourite (and only) clown samurai; Pookie Pookerson (not cannon last name).

Yep so I started the next part of three ring like ‘how do I do this again? What’s the backstory?’ haha and weirdly it went pretty well, I mean I’m not churning it out but what I put out was pretty good I thought. I kinda wanted it to be like an anime that skirts a fine line between serious and comedy. So you have this completely ridiculous world full of ridiculous people but the humour comes from them all taking it really seriously until they don’t.

So I think the opening I did for the second part captured that pretty well, had some wry humor but mostly kept it straight and focused on the action and the story… of which there is one haha. I have some idea where I want to go with it but I’m not taking it too seriously, I’m just trying to have fun with it and work on it as a break that’s not a break haha. Because I can’t actually stop writing, I can just take it less seriously haha.

The next few days are gonna suck for multiple reasons but maybe I’ll get some reading done in between unspeakable horror. Might finish that Parker novel which is shaping up to be really good. It kind of has a weird structure because its sort of gone off on a tangent but has such good tension that it doesn’t matter that it’s not directly attached to the job. He’s basically had his cake and eaten it here because you have the autistic planning and setup phase interspersed with this tense action set piece which is also drawn out really well. And all the characters are great and Parker feels like Parker again when he kind of felt like Joe blow in the last couple of books. 

But this book makes me happy because I started to feel after the witcher and these last two Parker books that I was falling out of love with reading as a result of playing too many video games and watching too many films. But it’s not the case I’m as eager as before to really get into this book. Not as much as I was when reading Dexter but that’s Dexter for you haha.

Now that I mention the witcher I heard rumours that ciri is supposed to be black in the netflix show. And I could have maybe seen how Geralt the white wolf could have been black maybe because his origins are sort of a mystery so you can just rewrite and say he came from Kovir. Same could be done with Dandelion because they don’t really have firm backstories in the books or the games. But Ciri has a really firm backstory which is tied directly to the plot.

For Ciri to be black literally all of Cintra of which she’s the princess of has to be wakanda haha. The entire royal line would have to be black, the elves too because she’s the spawn of the elder blood. She has elven blood running through her veins. So the elves have to be black too. I mean maybe she could be mullatto because her father is sort of this cursed outcast who had to basically trick Queen Calanthe into marrying her daughter Princess Pavetta. Which Geralt helped him to do in exchange for the right of surprise on Ciri. So you could just make her father from Kovir I guess but that adds another layer of politics to an already politics heavy story and not to mention Kovir I don’t think is even in the books.

Essentially I think this show is going to be a glorious trainwreck too concerned with diversity quotas and virtue signalling to actually tell a decent compelling story, it’s the type of shit we see everyday. This isn’t new, so it’s probably going to flop, I mean you’ve alienated the majority of the fanbase even saying you’re basing it off the books because the people that play the games have no idea how shit the books are in comparison haha. So they’ll watch the first episode and be like “What is this shit?” and they’ll turn it off haha. Add to that the new wakanda plotline and you’re making a show for like three people two of which are in the writing staff haha.

I just think this is really funny. It just sounds like it’s going to be a colossal disaster and I’m just getting my popcorn ready, while also eagerly awaited CD projeckt red to wow us Cyberpunk which looks amazing. I can’t wait for that, still not going to preorder haha. Unless they make me an offer I can’t refuse haha. Some people are still shitting on it saying it looks like shitty Deus ex and I don’t know what they’re talking about it, I think it looks like the complete fucking opposite. It looks like Deus ex with some balls and real grit and a living huge world not a tiny sandbox to mess about in, but a gta sized world with cars and people.

What I hope is it finds a balance between deus ex with it’s well crafted little sandboxes and gta’s huge open world because there are trade offs to both. With deus ex you get less room to play and explore and no vehicles but every set piece is hand crafted and every room feels kind of lived in and real. Whereas in gta it’s sort of lots of nothing in some cases. It’s bigger and has more vehicles but you can’t actually explore all the buildings or what not, so there are trade offs. 
The bar I’m setting for Cyberpunk is a middle ground between these two. Because I love Deus ex but I always felt like it was holding back, not giving me enough, sort of just giving me bite size chunks of this world to sell me the rest as dlc. Whereas in gta you almost get too much and it deters replay value. And once upon a time we had a perfect blend of both. 
We once had games that were full satisfying experiences that weren’t just dlc/sequel bait but also left you wanting to play them again to experience things you might’ve missed.

It’s the kind of oldschool mentality and feel you only get from these eastern european developers like cd projekt and warhorse because their ethos is stuck in the 90’s but their tech is modern. They have passion and grit and love of their games without trying to squeeze every cent out of them or push some political narrative. They’re at this perfect stage where they’re big enough to make triple a titles that rival the big boys but small enough to not have focus groups or investors breathing down their necks and imposing their will on the games like we’re seeing from EA and Besthesda. Two companies that were once heroes now living long enough to become villains. Due alone to their business practices and their churning out of these lazy subpar games used to push lazy political narratives.
But that’s just the way it is I guess. I mean if multi-billion dollar companies can’t bring out a decent series of star wars movies then what hope does netflix and videogame companies have?

Anyway that’s enough ranting for today, gone on way too long already. Gonna see if I can’t get some proofreading in before I crash, got a big week of constant sorrow ahead of me haha. But that come down is sweet, on sunday I promise to do little more than feed myself and I might not even do that haha. Might be too lazy and just learn to photosynthesize haha.

Legit running out of content now haha. Green Sunday is almost done, Gage is toast, gotta get cranking out those Proofs on Cur and write some more samurai clown goodness haha.

See you..

“ADAM WAIT!” A ghostly voice cried out.

A deathly pause, a black echo, the sound of shaking metal and a robotic response; “That name.”

TJ opened his eyes slowly, the metal foot hovering an inch in front of his face about to curb stomp him against the ice. The foot was stopped, frozen with hesitation. The Lancer paused, he shook his head and pretended he didn’t hear it. A mistake, a ghost in the machine and pressed his foot against TJ’s skull pinning it to the ice. Put pressure on it a pound at a time of crushing pressure.

“ADAM STOP!” A shrill voice cried.

The Lancer stopped again and took the pressure off. The hair on the back of his neck raised like he was a kid caught playing with his mothers high heels. He breathed in and out but didn’t turn his head. He shook his head again and put his foot back.

TJ closed his eyes. The cold metal foot was still stopped and all he could hear was the drone of the furry horde. The Lancer’s foot came completely off TJ’s head and he stumbled backwards weighed down by something. White tentacles wrapped around his throat and his legs and his arms and his waist. More and more latching on until he was almost covered in these white appendages.

TJ rolled onto his back and he rubbed his eyes trying to focus on the ghostly arms that had hold of the chrome knight.

‘Arm…s’ plural, the Lancer was locked down by a series of thin naked white arms.

A straight jacket of porcelain flesh constricting around all his joints stopping him like quicksand. His movements grinding to a halt as more and more arms began to wrap around him.

“What the fuck?” TJ whispered.

Carpenter looked down at the sea of furry faces. All cheery and colourful and hungry for flesh and probably the juice inside eyeballs. He lost his balance for a second wobbling the plank. He darted his head back and kept his cutlass high locking eyes with the Frenchman who was still and silent.

“Are you ready?” The Frenchman said. His voice ringing with a gleeful tone of completion. Of fate reaches out a warm hand and patting him on the small of his back.

Carpenter said nothing. He smiled broadly and started to rock back and forth and then bounce slightly up and down like he was a on a trampoline. Getting deeper into the bounce each time.

The Frenchman lost some composure as he felt the board shaking. Heard it creaking and groaning, wood fibres splitting and giving way. “What are you doing?” He shrieked as he could feel it giving way.

Carpenter fed on his fear, his smile growing wider. His lips parting showing those sharp teeth and he said; “Whatever it takes.”

Read the full chapter on inkitt by following this link kinda outta luck.

Cur chapter 7 ‘Sore eyes’

Hello there,

Back again with some special content, now I’m finished writing it I’m barrelling away with the proofreading and hope to get it edited soon. I like how it turned out. It’s small but it’s like a stepping stone to how epic the plan is for it going forward. I want people to read the last book and see how it compares to this one in terms of how the scope gets grander and grander as there was no way in hell this can’t turn into epic fantasy based on the source material. 
The mythology I’m working with is probably the basis for a lot of Tolkien, hopefully that gives you some window into what I’m processing in terms of the actual lore.

Didn’t do much yesterday, spent a nice chunk of time with the most special people on the earth to me in digital form then I ate a lot of meat and pasta and fought to stay awake while proofreading this chapter. Quick tip, don’t eat pasta in the middle of the day haha.

Still really digging the latest Parker book, still in austistic planning phases and I’m loving it. No news on the witcher front except about the TV show casting Henry Caville to be Geralt which is a weird choice. I guess its just because he wanted it haha. Honestly I don’t hold out much hope for the show because netflix is garbage, and the writing team they have seem like millenial douchnozzles and it’s supposedly going to be based on the books and I think I’ve made my opinions on the books apparent. I think the books are a dumpster fire and the games are only good because they use the characters and build an interesting world to interact with. CD projekt red did the impossible and polished a turd and made it sparkle. Now do I think netfux can do that? Nah.

The witcher is only popular because of the games, no one ever heard of it before that and for good reason, the books are objectively bad/boring/derivative only a bunch of sycophantic hipsters pretend to like it for whatever reason. So if you’re basing it off the books in which Geralt slays like three monsters, we’ve got problems. Whereas if they make it like a freak of the week show akin to supernatural where’s there’s a new monster every episode and a vein of story running through it, it could work. But do I think they’ll do that or go with game of thrones shit?

I don’t think Caville will do a bad job and I’m glad it’s an english guy, although I would have preferred Mads Mikkelson, that dude was born to be Geralt. But maybe now he can be Cur haha.

Actually thinking about it who would I cast as Cur if I had the choice of anyone, Tom Hardy pops out for Bane. I could see that, use camera trickery to make everyone shorter than him and hey presto got a giant.
Of course if I could choose anyone and age didn’t matter it would definitely hands down be Mr Krabs himself, Clancy Brown, the basis for the character of Cur from the Kurgan in highlander. I just saw him in Detroit become human and he doesn’t look too old but I don’t know if he’s in shape but if I could choose anyone it would be him. Tom Hardy would be a bigger draw and he’s a better actor. And he’s yet to have like a solid action type movie where he’s the center.

Like he stars in all these thrillery actiony movies but is never ‘that guy’ like bond or Ethan Hunt. I think maybe that’s why he wanted to do venom so he could do that. But I hear it’s gonna suck because they pussed out and made it a 12a when originally they were gonna go the deadpool route and push for an adult rating. Which would have been awesome because the first trailer was dumb but the second trailer looked pretty good and that plus venom biting people’s heads off with maximum gore seemed like a winner but neutered 12a venom makes me think of ghost rider and I get a full body cringe.

I think certainly after seeing him as Bane and Bronson, he has the screen presence to pull that off.

But young Clancy Brown is who’s in my head when I write Cur, he’s the guy. I sometimes have to watch the ‘Gimme the prize’ music video from the highlander movie and see the Kurgan in action to really get into the mood of the character and put them into my story. To get that raw visceral ambivalence and chaotic evil nature and put it up on the page.

Talking about Detroit become human actually, makes me think about gaming before youtube. Because Detroit is one of those games I would have played and written an angry review about which is what I desperately want to do with a game that just came out that’s called ‘We happy few’. But I haven’t actually played either I just watched a full playthrough on youtube while doing something else haha.

So I don’t feel good about reviewing something I haven’t spent any money on (apart from movies haha),like I don’t feel that mad or invested. I just feel relieved that I saved forty quid haha. Because those games were interesting to watch on a stream but if I paid for them I would be spitting mad with those two garbage fires haha.

Detroit is basically the least subtle movie about social justice race/gender politics I’ve ever seen. It’s so on the nose with the holocaust stuff it’s was almost unbearable to watch it’s complete lack of subtlety and nuance. It just made me wonder if David Cage needs someone to chew his food for him. I half expected Trump to be in it and personally throw a black jewish drag queen into an oven while reciting passages of mein kampf.

And we happy few is basically a game made by someone in canada who liked bioshock and overheard someone talking about 1984 and brave new world and thought that would be good as a game. Because the only real parallel between 1984 is the fact the first character you play edits newspapers, once at the beginning of the game and never does it again, wow, much reference such inspired. I haven’t actually read brave new world but I’m assuming it’s not about hiding in bushes and engaging in really shitty combat with an umbrella.

It started life as just a survival game then some bright spot thought it would be good to have a story and then just made a series of fetch quests and called it a story. Its basically a glorified hidden item/phone game like granny but on a larger scale with less good stealth mechanics and much more filler. The difference is granny is free and this is basically an indie kickstarter game asking AAA prices. Kill yourself haha. Mainly what I hate about it is it’s essentially bioshock but instead of playing someone coming from outside discovering the world for the first time, you’re just a splicer with no powers who whines constantly about everything in the most annoying voice ever haha.

 My one line review would be “It’s bioshock but you can’t shoot bees from your fist” End. That’s all you need to know, it’s totally derivative and seems to take the wackiness of bioshock to a point where you can’t take it seriously. But it also fails to juxtapose that with the oppressive atmosphere to create any tension. It’s like it takes the wackiness to a point of idiocy but also deals with the serious stuff in a way that is just boring and depressing. It’s the worst of two worlds, it’s not serious enough to be ground but too depressing and boring to be fun.

Ok enough rambling, actually I have nothing better to do today haha. I spent too much time setting things up now I have 14 minutes to do some more proofreading, well whatever. I guess I’ll just do some spamming and take a nap, fuck me haha.

I think I’m gonna make a start on the next three ring instalment, just take a poke at it. I started doing the real shit workout again and I feel so sluggish, feels like I’ve been sleeping covered in sandbags. So until I get used to that again I’m gonna be basically useless at everything except holding up mugs full of green tea and yawning and it’s about to get crazy at work next week, somebody kill me.

This is a pretty fun chapter, not as fun as the last one but close.

See you…

The crow watched dispassionately from it’s perch in high Tallaght. It cawed loudly and ruffled it’s feathers and took off in the direction of the woods.

Down below the girl ran desperately through the streets, her lungs burning. All thoughts of using her magic chased out of her brain by a shrieking fear of the eternal. And what could she do without her torque or the sword? All she could do was run and hide and prey to the goddess that birthed her. The sounds of the black hooves and the devil whinney of that black mare grew faster and closer and louder and shook the earth with terrible fury.

“Wake up you big bastard” A strange small voice said. “You’ve got no time to be laying about”

Cur’s eyes fluttered and then opened wide. His eyes bulging as he stared at the sky seeing nothing but a blinding bright light and then closing them again tightly.

He rose and hunched forward in a sitting position and rubbed them with the large palm of his hand.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know” The little bird said. “It’d didn’t take me long to find you, a naked giant lying in the forest is hard to miss from above.”

“You were supposed to be watching” Cur groaned and looked at bird in the form of the bird bobbing around on the ground.

“I was watching but something more interesting caught my eye.” The bird seemed to cock a cheeky grin and wink.

“A wench is it?” Cur growled scanning the grove which was now empty and placid and looked like it had never been home to a cottage of any kind.

“Aye, a cumbly wench, a familiar one at that.”

Cur spat on the ground “The fool.”

“Quite right, she must really want her sword back, good thing you didn’t take anything else” The bird laughed.

“Should have let me kill her” He said as he found his clothes lying in a heap in the grass under a birch. He dressed as quickly as one can with a single arm.

“Ah but if you’d killed her you’d have lost your chance at reprisal”

“What talk is this?”

“It seems our little lark has earned the ayer of none other than the black knight of Dun Bresse.”

“Dullahan is here? Why?”

“For the girl I can only assume.”

“What could he want with that scrawny wench?” Cur scoffed.

“Her head perhaps”

Cur seethed angrily rubbing his neck as if there was a faint scar there.

The crow laughed “He took your head once before and you still bear a grudge.”

“What of it?”

“A man took your head only a few nights since”

Cur grimaced growing silent and solemn, He tightened his jaws until his face looked hard and skeletal white.

“He was the first.”

The girl, frantic, tossed her light body about the streets, like a leaf in an errant and erratic wind looking for any nook to hide herself in. She fought not to stumble over herself as she heard the horse’s whine and the hooves resonating through the tight streets.

She stopped dead, her breath burning in her throat almost drooling with fear, mad with it. Her eyes wide and shaking and leaking. She looked up and saw the high stone wall of the guardhouse, one of the only two story buildings in the village. Penned in on all sides but one by the little round house huts and their thatched rooves.

She rattled for the handle and it opened easily with a yawing creak and she fumbled into a large square eating hall. Looking around goggle eyed she spotted a stair case and fell up it as she heard the horse’s cry all around her now.

Hiding in here was her best course of action. He’d have to get off the horse if he would pursue her any further and then she’d at least have some chance at escape. Or enough where with all to use some sort of spell on him.

She waited holding her breath perched on the edge of the wood and stone staircase. Looking down at the only entrance of which she didn’t take the time to barricade. Now regretting it, looking around at all the heavy wooden chairs and tables in the canteen. She cursed herself and thought to go down and hurriedly construct some edifice to slow his pace. But then what? Wait to die?

It was too late, a dull slow almost disinterested pounding on the door shook the whole building. Within no more than three strikes the door gave up the ghost and fell open like a whore’s legs.

Read the rest of this chapter on inkitt Sore eyes

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