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Red Dead Redemption 2 ‘now even more redemptiony’ – review

… it’s boring, the end.

No, but yeah but no, yeah. My brother played this before me and he was like “Eh it was kind of meh” and I just took that to mean it went over his head or he just didn’t get it or it was too slow for him because he’s not the quickest of cats at the best of times and he couldn’t get into kingdom deliverance or the witcher and he would never play something like dark souls. He’s not the kind of guy that likes in depth games that take a lot of skill and patience and grind so I just figured he wasn’t giving it a chance.

Because admittedly the beginning is slow as fuck. I mean it’s tedious and I didn’t know at the time that that pretty much sets the pace for the whole fucking game. You’re like ‘oh it takes a while to get going that’s all, it’s taking it’s time to build it’s world’ but it never gets going, it never gets off the ground, it just rolls around aimlessly the whole game hoping you’ll get distracted by all the side quests and mini games so you don’t notice that the plot and the characters are boring and unoriginal.

It’s like the game is a con artist and you’re asking it “So what’s the end goal? What’s the story about, how do the characters grow and why does this story need to be told in regards to red dead 1?” and the game is like; “Err… you like poker right?? I mean who doesn’t like poker?? Hunt or fish much?”

I usually like a game that takes it’s time and eases you into the game and lets you get to know the characters before everything begins and they start killing them off one by one for fun. But this game just goes on and on and on. And don’t get me wrong it has a lot of content, too much content, the game is almost too full, it gets to the point where it’s almost like filler and it’s why it took me ages to get this review out because the game is so bloated and the story is so filler heavy even without the side stuff it’s way too long.

The first thing I fought back against with my brother was the world, the world is very nice, someone went to a lot of effort to make it really beautiful and engaging so you didn’t mind the hours you’ll spend riding around on your horse to get to missions or just exploring. I found the hunting pretty fun. I didn’t play any poker which is weird because I played a lot in the previous game, the fishing was pointless if you ask me.

The mechanics are pretty similar to the older game, except they changed the dead eye system because in the older game when it gets better you get that terrible tagging system which ruins the fun of shooting people in slow mo if you ask me. Oh wow instead of shooting people you get to put a little ‘x’ on them and then your character shoots them, yay. But in this they reversed that which is a lot better and makes dead eye much more fun and useful. Although if I’m honest the game that did it best is Max Payne always and Call of Juarez let you control each gun individually when you went into slow mo, so you had a stick per gun and you could shoot two people at once, it was awesome. I don’t see why you can’t do that in this or have a trigger for each trigger. It would just make the shooting more immersive.

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Of course I went for total immersion, minimal hud, first person all the way but I never really felt immersed, I was always aware I was playing a game despite the attempt at grit and realism in the plot and world. I never really felt like I was in a slice of that time period like I did with Kingdom come deliverance, that game literally feels like a simulation someone put an rpg into.

One of the things that really brought me out of it was just the rockstar humour and also the modern day morality and race politics injected into the game, The game really goes out of it’s way to be anti-racist and it has so many occasions where it’s pointing out race or purposefully ignoring it and Arthur will tell anyone that will listen that he loves all races. It got to a point where it was ridiculous, he encounters a eugenicist the game was basically using as an alt right talking point machine. And Arthur basically comes back with the boiler plate “But I have friends who are mexican/black etc” and I was just like; “Aren’t you and all your friends robbers and killers though???” Scratches head emoji haha. Like huh?

It just makes no sense and totally takes me out of it, the whole morality and legal system of this game is pretty janky and it just kind of reeks of too many cooks in the kitchen. I mean I get that this game is sort of about america becoming less lawless which I’d like to remind you is exactly what the previous red dead was also about. But seriously, if you so much as sneeze in this game you’ll have cops crawling up your ass with a microscope, I’ve had people punch me and shoot me for bumping them with my horse and I get shot at by the cops for defending myself. And the morality system is like “Loot and kill all you want, except not these specific people”.

Why do I not lose honour when I loot a bad guy but I lose it when I loot an innocent person I didn’t even kill, it makes little to no sense. Why is there even an honor system in a game where I’m literally a criminal, it’s like here we are robbing a train, oh I’m losing honour while robbing people, right, and also getting a bounty despite wearing a mask, so what’s the point of the mask then?

Also the honour system seems kind of redundant, it really only unlocks certain outfits and gun customisation. I heard it changes some cutscenes but who gives a shit, does it change the ending? No? Then who gives a shit? So much of this game just seems to be there because it’s in other games and not because it’s good or serves the story.

I get that these are little things but they’re just dumb, these are things I’m getting out of the way because the real kicker of this game, the big problem is I don’t get why it exists. Well I do; money. It exists to make shitloads of money and honestly that seems to be the only reason.

The brass tacks of it is that it’s uninspired and I knew it was just from the title, the first game was just ‘Red dead’ because the main character is called ‘Red’ I think. The sequel is called ‘Red dead redemption’ because the main character who is not called Red is seeking redemption by tracking down the members of his old gang and this game is called ‘Red dead redemption 2’ because the main character is also not called red and is also sort of looking for redemption, towards the end of the game kinda. I’d be tempted to add a tagline ‘Red dead redemption 2 – now with 10% more redemption’.

It’s just an uninspired title and it sums up the entire slog of a game. It’s just more of the same and what’s more it’s a pointless plot line just loaded with filler and uninteresting characters. I think the big problem with this game is the same problem GTA IV had, it’s trying to be taken seriously but also trying to keep that level of rockstar humour and wit and it just falls flat. Because you can’t do both, you can’t try to tell an engaging serious story about life and death and have stupid jokes and wacky characters it just ruins the whole tone. It’s totally inconsistent. It’s why GTAV was so successful, it got its tone down, the story and characters worked with in it and it was had a satirical message that resonated. There’s no satire in red dead really, it’s just sort of played straight.

Also the missions all feel really flat and kind of like they’re on rails, and there really aren’t any that stand out. There isn’t that one mission that you remember. It’s just white noise really. The story sort of meanders and goes nowhere and then it ends and then it carries on for like ten hours with a pointless epilogue about how John built his house.

This is what pissed me off about this game because its a prequel so the story really isn’t necessary. It’s what building on the world or the lore, it’s just wallowing and retreading. And the whole time I don’t understand why because the characters that you chase in the first game barely get any lines or do anything at all. In fact there are parts of the game where they just seem like idiot flunkies so it almost makes the previous game seem kind of dumb and pointless.

And obviously we already know what’s going to happen and who can die and who can’t so we’re expected to care about all these people we know are probably going to die or leave and it takes the sting out. Also none of them really get any character development or time spent on them. Unless you spend loads of time in camp reading their mail or just engaging in pointless pleasantries. Maybe that’s what the game expected you to do but I barely even went to camp because there’s a whole fucking world to explore, I’m not gonna spend my time pissing about talking to characters who are just gonna die anyway.

So my major gripe is that the games story is pointless, it adds nothing to the previous game, in fact it probably takes away from it. It’s like the Solo movie, we didn’t need to know where he got his blaster from or whatever, it added nothing, it’s just shameless money spinning. You could have just made a new game and instead you just made another one. I thought this game originally was going to be the most ambitious game ever and like how in GTAV you played three characters, I thought you’d get to spend time being all seven gang members and that would have been a fantastic way of getting to know them by being them and dressing them and giving them their guns. But no, none of that happens, you just play a guy was invented for this game just to *spoilers* get sick and die pointlessly.

Ok I think I’m done ranting about the shitty boring nothing burger of a story and now I’m gonna talk about the shitty boring nothing burger of an epilogue.

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I don’t think I’ve ever wished a part of a game were chopped off and resold as dlc before. It’s an additional like 10 hours of literal filler just so you can kill this one guy and have a satisfying conclusion when you could have killed him 10 hours ago and saved me doing all those cow milking and horse shit picking up mini games.

It’s so pointless, and it’s just about John remarrying Abigail and building a house, and serves as like literal filler between the second game and the first. Why do we need to know how he built the house? And it brings in another gang to fight purely as filler combat to make the filler less boring. “Oh you’re trying to build a house but they kidnapped this guy or stole your tools, go shooty shooty bang bang them to make them stop”.

It’s pathetic.

But also it makes me wonder why you didn’t just play John again and then the story could have been about his romance with Abigail and actually interesting. And some of the major plot points are about his son and Abigail getting captured or whatever and I think it would have carried more emotional weight if you were playing as John instead of just going to help out. The only reason you play another character is because they could kill him off and try to pluck at your heart strings really feebly.

In the first game you really feel like you go on a journey, and I wish games would go back to locking off parts of the map because it really takes the fun of going to new places when you can just randomly go there early and ruin it. The first game you travel to mexico and all over and it feels like you went somewhere, in this game you feel like you’re just kinda moving around the map not doing anything. It’s not a journey, it’s just you go over here now, now you’re over here, yaaaaay.

Don’t get me wrong, Arthur is hands down the best character in the game but there isn’t a lot of competition. The game has zero interesting characters and no villains whatsoever. I get that it’s not trying to be a game with moustache twirling villains but anything is better than just having no villains.
I know people are gonna say “But Dutch is the villain” but is he though? Everyone is telling me that but honestly he just seems more like an idiot to me. Like someone who was just coasting on luck and charm and one or both ran out. I just kinda felt sorry for him for being dumb and optimistic.

Like it’s trying to be like ‘He’s a three dimensional likeable villain.” But what does he do that’s villainous really?

I dunno, this game just felt like a slog, even cutting out the side stuff, it’s too long, it’s bloated, there’s just too much going on and yes you can have too much of a good thing, that’s what this is. It’s content for contents sake, how much can we stuff into this one game.

This is basically the summer block buster game we all have to love and it’s just a big boring mess. But it’s come out after a couple of big publishers just shit the bed, bethesda and EA just completely fell flat on their face and despite being beaten by Black ops Red dead looks great in comparison to those massive failures. But honestly its emperors new clothes, it’s a soul less cash grab and I can’t help thinking it’s because they’ve been going to ubisoft route in terms of how they do crunch. I think the without a union the games industry is going to crash from people being overworked and underpaid to churn out empty lifeless sequels that eventually wont sell. Ultimately red dead 2 did well but I think people won’t be talking about in a month or two just like no one is really talking about spiderman anymore despite paying youtubers to tell people how great it is and giving away a free suit at christmas which should have been in the base game anyway. It’s still a really disappointing game.

But it really put me in the mood to play the Mad Max game which surprised me with how awesome it is despite getting no love whatsoever haha.

So final thoughts, this game isn’t worth your money or your time, wait til it drops in price or don’t buy it at all, it has nothing to add to the red dead lore or your life in any way, it’s just spinning its wheels for 300+ hours with nothing to say, if you value your time, do something else.

See you…

Spiderman ‘Current year edition’ Review (Amazing savagery)

“It really makes you feel like spiderman’s wife’s black son”

-Ign

Newsflash webheads I hate it haha.

I dunno, I couldn’t get hyped for this one honestly, for a couple of reasons. Number one being it just looked like a milk toast Arkham copy and I haven’t liked an Arkham game since the first one so that lets you know where I’m at on that one. I mean I stopped playing origins after the first couple of missions because it was just tedious and predictable. Just a slog with room after room of the same uninspired combat and stealth mechanics.

The other reason was the studio behind this game have made nothing of note. The closest thing to spiderman they made was Sunset Overdrive, the most generic nothing game you could ever imagine. Kinda like crackdown and infamous for hipsters, trying for the comedy of gta or bully and just being a pointless game packed with filler. Another game I just didn’t feel like playing anymore after a couple of hours. I think they made a spyro game and some ratchet clank titles, in human speak that means games not many people give a shit about.

So those were the first red flags that I shouldn’t be hyped about this, the last one being there hasn’t been a decent entry in the spiderman videogame subset since spiderman 2 on the fucking gamecube. Every sequel botched or rushed for purpose of grabbing cash and running. Milking a popular franchise and then spending the profits in an non-extradition country.

And this game is no different folks, it just had a better pr team, i.e you idiots on the riding high on the hype train, moving too fast to see the forest for the trees.

So this game was more of a curiosity purchase if anything. I started off really enjoying. It looks great, it feels cinematic and quite immersive. The combat is really nice and the movement is pretty good.

It starts off with an older Peter Parker, skipping the origin story and getting straight into capturing Kingpin in the tutorial of the game but inadvertently creating a power vacuum that then triggers other villains to appear somehow. Yeah the kingpin thing is kind of just bullshit to have a boss battle at the start, it never really comes up again in any significant way.
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So you have a pretty standard boss battle, dodge, web, zip to, punch a lot, rinse and repeat and get used to that because that’s basically every boss fight in this game, only the costumes change haha.
Then you get into Peter Parker’s life. When I first heard that there are segments you play as Peter I was like “Huh?”. But then I started to think this game would be more like an rpg where you play spiderman and you have to balance his normal life and his spidey stuff add to that an upgrade system and new costumes to unlock you have what is essentially an rpg.

But here’s where I was dead wrong since all you do as Peter Parker is walk around and look and use detective vision to find the next thing to interact with to move the plot. And if you’re not doing that you’re working for Otto Octavius in his lab doing shitty puzzles the game knows are shitty and gives you the option to skip entirely in between Otto dropping hints that he’s going to turn into doctor octopus at some point in the near future.
It just becomes a point and click adventure. You can’t walk the streets or like have special places to change into your costumes. It’s basically just a cutscene where you can walk around, in other words, totally pointless filler. And you’re strap yourself in because you’re gonna get a lot of that in this game, but I’ll save that for later haha.

Now the first issue with this game is the core mechanics, people dumping on it for copying Arkham or whatever. I’ve said before I don’t mind if games/movies/books borrow elements from other sources as long as they do them justice and add their own flare. Look at Shadow of Mordor, pretty much steals all Arkham’s gameplay and sprinkles in some Assassins creed but it adds it’s own skill tree and it crafts this awesome enemy hierarchy system. In which the orcs have their own politics you can manipulate and it’s a really fun mechanic.

Whereas spidey has the elements of a perfect spiderman game but then piles on a shit ton of other mechanics from other games implemented in the most half assed and stupid ways that just bog an otherwise decent game down.
For example the upgrade system is just totally useless and really only good for cosmetics. How it works is you have to get tokens to unlock new suits, suit mods and gadgets and you get tokens by grinding random crimes or looking for stupid collectables or clearing bases or completing challenges all basic shit. But the suits just look cool and have like a power that adds nothing really and I never ended up using them very. The suit mods too were pretty useless and I could see doing a playthrough without even buying a new suit or mod and just levelling the skill tree.
The suits don’t have their own stats, so the spider armour mk1 and the spider armour mk2 have the same stats but they have different powers and look different. And you change their stats with mods but newer more expensive suits have the same number of mod slots so the incentive to get them and grind for them is purely cosmetic. You’d think an armoured suit would give you more defence, no it just gives you a power that you’ll never use that gives you immunity to bullets for like ten seconds. Whoop de fucking doo.

Honestly, a game that forces you to look for collectables should be binned just for that. It’s just time wasting filler nonsense.

The first real red flag was when the game introduced ubisoft style towers. And at first I was like “erm I guess this is ok” towers you go to unlock side missions and collectable locations. They’re not hard to get to like farcry or AC because you’re spiderman so that’s ok I guess. But what’s the point in it other than just as a time wasting mechanic? Just to be like the bigger boys? It has no purpose in any game least of all a spiderman game.
And I don’t care if Peter has some kind of walk down memory lane when he picks up another collectible. One was a recipe for dumplings or curry or something, I don’t want to collect little pieces of “lore” someone at insomniac pulled out of their ass as filler ok. It’s just dumb.

The next red flag was the web swinging, something that’s core to any spiderman game, so if you fuck that up you’ve got a problem. At first I thought it was ok, it wasn’t webbing to the sky it looked over it felt intuitive but then I started to notice that I could never seem to get any faster, I could never build up momentum in a swing no matter how hard or deep I took the swing. And I also noticed how the web always shot out of the screen and you could mysteriously web swing on trees in central park. Not that I was complaining because its better than running through central park.

But that’s when I realised that the reason you can’t pick up speed is because the game doesn’t have a momentum system, or anyway to web swing faster. It’s just a stock animation repeated a couple of times, you’re just on a loop and the webs are sticking to the sky they’re just angled to make you think they’re webbing buildings or they have specific anchor points on buildings. So you never get the real sense that you’re web swinging or going fast and there’s no tension because you can jump off the highest building in this game and nothing happens, you can’t die from falling. So that’s spiderman simulator out of the way.  I don’t feel like spiderman I feel like someone playing a spiderman videogame.

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No to shred the basic gameplay, another thing they steal and fuck up is base assaults. So in like Assassins creed there are enemy strongholds you can infiltrate and conquer through stealthily taking everyone out or just barging in and killing everyone. And each one is a fun little mini map, a play ground. But how spiderman fucks it up is all of them are pretty much the same map and you can take them all out stealthily and then another wave of already alerted enemies shows up as one of like five waves you have to fight through making the stealth completely pointless. And why do they do this? Filler, it’s just padding, adding waves is just a way to artificially pad these base missions out and thus makes them a tedious slog that I skipped entirely. And this kind of thing happens in the main quests too, you complete a stealth section only to have more enemies burst in and you have to fight them.

I’m not saying I hate the combat system but eat icecream all day and tell me you want to do the same tomorrow. You can ruin even  good thing if you have too much of it too often.

Now about the stealth, it’s bog standard arkham but as spiderman; perch and isolate and web people up rinse and repeat. Oh no two people together, distract and isolate then web them up, or just use a gadget and web them both up. It’s really simple but I enjoyed the parts of the game where it actually let you do it before ending always in the obligatory fight.

I just think it’s another one of those things, they have a stealth system only because every other game has one but they’ve implemented it in a way that makes it pointless, it’d just be quicker and easier to fight in every encounter.

Another thing I noticed is the world is really lifeless, it’s really not even a sandbox game, it’s a linear game with a really really short even with all the padding campaign with skyboxes you swing through. The world is there but you can barely interact with it in any meaningful way. I get the feeling a lot of the sub mission content was cut for dlc and the stuff us peasants are left with is just the scraps. It looks pretty but it’s just hollow and really this game is a linear game but has to pretend to be open world to be let into the big boy club.

Now I saved by biggest gripe for last, the rabbit pellet on the shit sunday. Now this I couldn’t believe when I heard it and I don’t think this was in any of the marketing I saw. For some reason the game gets the genius idea that for ‘variety’ they sprinkle in these little missions where you don’t play as spiderman. And you may ask yourself am I playing another superhero? Maybe Daredevil? Or the Punisher??? Nope you play Mary- jane and Miles Morales in these shitty forced stealth sections with instant death fail states.
And now you’re thinking ‘surely they’ll just be in submissions and side quests and they’re be really short, they won’t be in the main campaign.’
That’s where you’ll be wrong, they’re in submissions and in pretty much every mission in the main campaign and they get longer and more annoying each time.
When I first encountered this I was like ‘is this a spiderman game, or is this spiderman and pals?’ Why am I playing people that aren’t spiderman in a spiderman game?
What is the purpose of these missions? Why can’t I play as spiderman or at-least Peter Parker for these missions?
I wouldn’t have minded them if I felt they had a purpose or were fun and interesting and relevant to the plot but they’re not and the game makes some lame justification why only MJ can do it and it’s somehow beyond spiderman. Spiderman couldn’t sneak into a gang hideout and take pictures, nah that’s something only MJ could do.

It got to a point where I would buy a new suit for a story quest and then have to stare at the back of Mj’s head while she went on a tour of chest high wall inspections. And to really take the piss in this one mission you see spiderman sneaking around and taking out guards and you have to help him by throwing distraction items to isolate guards so he can pick them off. My jaw at this point was on the floor with how fucking dumb this was.
I paid fifty quid to watch spiderman do spiderman stuff as his annoying girlfriend. And then by the time you’re spiderman again you almost feel relieved like you’ve just been let out of a gulag for white privilege. The relief you get when someone stops hitting your balls with a hammer.

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Is that how fun works? I’m confused, so this game thought it would be good to break up the gameplay with pointless tedious missions where you play spiderman’s mates and this is a triple a game?
On top of that you do pretty much the exact same thing as Miles Morales and his missions are even more pointless. So pointless I’ve forgotten what most of them were even about. Like one was just there because he didn’t want to wait in line. One was like he needed medicine for some random person and he had to steal it and then rhino appears and it’s meant to be scary. You’re meant to be scared of a guy dressed in a rhino suit who sounds like Colossus in the deadpool movies. It’s like ‘ooh look how deadly and powerful he is, don’t you feel scared being a powerless non-super powered human faced with this amazing enemy who can be beaten by hacking into a light to distract him and just walking behind him as he stares at it intently for like five minutes’.
And every time I completed one of these missions I was like ‘what was the point of that?’ I couldn’t understand what it added and why it couldn’t have just been a cut scene or even just a line of dialogue. Instead of playing Miles sneaking past the line he could just say “I didn’t want to wait in line blah blah blah”. The reason these missions exist is to pad out the ridiculously short campaign, that’s the purpose for almost every mechanic in the game. It’s like they crafted the main quest and it’s not awful, the characters and writing is ok and then they were like, ‘shit this is a little short, let’s just cram it with collectables and pointless side quests and forced stealth missions and crafting, that’ll fix it, people love that garbage.’

And you know what’s really sad? They’re not wrong because this money is making more money than god of war. But that’s usually what people say when defending shitty games like this ‘well it made lots of money so it must be good’. Well cancer raises a lot of money but I can’t say the juice is worth the squeeze.
This is what sony does now, they make flashy nice looking movies with a bit of gameplay and hype the shit out of people with paid reviews and get people too drunk on hype to realise how bad the game really is below all the shiny baubles. And by the time they realise the developer is already making a sequel and when that one comes out you’ll have forgotten how shitty the other one really was.

One final thing that really pissed me off, like really made me cringe is they set up Miles to be the next spiderman in this game. We’re not even two games in and they’re already planning to replace Peter Parker. So either you play Miles in the dlc which would be tolerable but I won’t play it because I already returned this game haha. Or the sequel will be playing as Miles, the ultimate sjw commie wet dream haha. And Peter will be relegated to force stealth missions where he sniffs Mjs pants.
Because you know the sjws at marvel and everywhere else is chomping at the bit to make spiderman black. They can’t do it in the movies even though they tried and made references to him as well as replacing almost every other white role in homecoming with another race. I mean they made flash thompson some geeky looking indian gay, it was just silly. When not even the jock bully can be white you’ve reached levels of diversity that shouldn’t even be possible haha.

Overall what’s really sad about this game is that it has potential, underneathe all the shit and padding there beats the heart of a half decent spiderman game that we’ll never see and that’s what makes this game especially triggering to me. Because it could have been amazing but it just isn’t, it’s painfully average and bland.

Save your money on this one. Or buy a gamecube haha.

AC Syndicate Review (Rose tinted savagery)

I was thinking of using some stupid pun like ‘Syndishit’ or ‘binthisshit’ but it seemed tacky.

The reason this savagery is rose tinted is because I got this game free with games with gold on xbox, so this is the best possible review I can give this game as the sting of not having paid forty quid for it is not present. Baring in mind if I had paid full price or anything at all I would have torn it to shreds because it’s not worth the full price of a game.

I honestly tried to like this game, I haven’t actually played an AC game since rogue which was ages ago and after that these two didn’t really interest me. I enjoyed it at the start, AC is fun when you get going, the gameplay is decent, the world looks all right. But once you really get into it there really isn’t a lot to these games.

You run around and climb and stab the man and then run around and climb some more. And after that’s it’s just constant repetition.

The things I liked about it were the combat system, they seem to have changed and I thought it was just mashing X to win but there is a little subtlety to it and there are combos. Taking the boroughs is repetitive but it’s fun testing out new skills and weapons and I thought I’d hate changing between the two characters Evie and Jacob but I actually really liked it.

It made for a nice shift in gameplay, I’m playing Evie one minute being all stealthy taking down workhouses and then I switch to Jacob and I walk right into a gang stronghold and just start punching people. It makes for a nice switch in gameplay and it stops the rpg elements from breaking the game. Because in a lot of stealth games you get rpg mechanics that ruin the game because if you invest too much in stealth you inevitably have a boss fight where you cant even hide and it just makes it impossible. But this gets around that because you have your stealth character and you have your combat character to switch to if you need to. And I liked how they had their own individual skills, like Evie couldn’t unlock the top fighting, toughness and shooting skills and Jacob couldn’t unlock the top knife and stealth, keeping both play styles unique.

Also finally different costumes have different effects and you have lots of different gear play with. And the game basically entails doing a bunch of fetch quests or nonsense missions to unlock an assassination mission. They’re pretty good, you have lots of different ways to approach them, when I say ‘lots’ I mean three. But they’re ok, kind of like Hitman but then why wouldn’t I just play hitman if it allows me to cut out all the busywork and pointless collectibles. (Seriously does anyone collect the collectables in AC games, there were like fucking pressed flowers to collect in this and I was like ‘huh’).

Now onto the fun part the stuff I hated haha.

First thing that let me down is there are basically only three variants of the same weapon for the entire game. You get a kukri, or a ‘cane sword’ (in name only because it’s a fucking knife it’s not a sword) or brass knuckles and then every subsequent weapon is just a reskin with different numbers next to it. And what really annoyed me is you only see the weapons when you actually attack, so I invest in this dope looking ‘cane sword’ and I can’t even walk around with it. And don’t get me wrong I love kukris, I have like four of them but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like a bowie knife or something just for a change. And in previous AC games you could get maces and axes and each sword had different speeds.  I dunno this just seems like streamlining instead of expanding.

The guns on the otherhand were pretty cool, reminded me a little bit of red dead but not nearly as good in the selection but on the whole I like the leveling because they dished out weapons gradually and you get a feel for a difficulty curve.

The next gripe I have is a difficult one because I actually liked the climbing in the previous games but I guess it made it necessary to shrink their game worlds before because you couldn’t get around the map fast enough. So in this game you have the scouting positions as fast travel points and you have carriages but you also have a grappling hook zipline thing.

So yeah that sounds cool, you’re zipping around like batman dropping smoke bombs and zipping away, that sounds really cool. Like it’s a game version of gotham by gaslight. It sounds cool but we’re forgetting this game was all about climbing and climbing was almost a sort of puzzle and having a grappling hook basically makes all of that unecessary. So where as in the previous games climbing to the top of big ben would have been this awesome achievement that took time and effort and skill it now takes literally one button push to go from the ground to the top with the grappling hook.

And as far as the climbing goes it’s been simplified to the point of absurdity and I honestly don’t know why they would introduce a grappling hook in this game and not in any of the others and it makes me think its because their climbing system has basically been dumbed down to the point of not even mattering so they have a grappling hook to cover that up. It essentially removes climbing from the game.

Now I’ve got the gameplay stuff out of the way, I mean if you know AC as a series you know what gameplay is like, I mean if you play one AC game you’ve basically played them all. They just add a little something new each time. Like building a town and hunting in 3 and pirate ships in 4. Time to move on to the the story; there isn’t one. Well that’s that done.

No seriously the game literally starts with the main characters just going to London to fight templars and get some relic and that’s it. There’s no back story or emotional tie to the villains, no revenge story or redemption story or coming of age. There’s no arc, no character development that stretches further than ‘Oooh Jacob has a new hat’. It’s completely hollow and all the characters are cardboard cut outs or tongue in cheek over the top representations of historical figures introduced like they’re on a cast of a kids tv show. “Ooh look it’s Charles Dickens I wonder if he needs me to stab anyone in the neck for him!” And once I realised that these side quests for these figures didn’t propel the story at all and weren’t necessary to complete the game I never did another one because they were completely pointless.

There’s even this side quest where you play a later Frye set in WW1 London where you meet winston churchill and its just more of the same game I don’t think there were even new weapons or anything and the new Frye is even less developed as a character than Evie and Jacob. And her goal, I kid you not is to get the vote for women, when she said that I literally did a full body cringe.

I expected there to be some story surrounding what happened to Evie and Jacob’s father and it’s touched on like a couple of times in idle conversations in carriages you can skip by getting to your destination faster than the characters dialogue and it’s never touched on in regards to the story rendering it utterly pointless. And the characters of Evie and Jacob can just be summed up in grumpy tough girl stereotype and charming rogue stereotype. They’re not developed any further than that.

It lacks the essential emotional drive of a story that makes you want to go forward and I ended up just completing it for this review instead of actually wanting to know what happened at the end because I already knew what would happen in the end.

They defeat the snidely whiplash moustache bad guy who is only evil because he shoots a man for interrupting him once and he has evil hair and a big moustache. That’s it. And really all you do in this game is go around to his parts of town and make his men wear different coloured coats because all that happens when you kill everyone is that they respawn working for you instead.

Now all this story stuff aside, I honestly have no problems with games having shit or no story or very little story as long as the gameplay is fun and inventive and doesn’t get repetitive. And on the other hand I don’t mind if a game series has the exact same gameplay tweaked a little each time as long as it has memorable likeable characters and a good story with interesting worlds to explore, like uncharted. I don’t care if the gameplay is the same in uncharted as long as you’re exploring a different country and Sully is there. I don’t care if they literally copy paste last of us for a sequel as long as the story is as heart rending as the first (both naughty dog games, wtf how did the people who made crash bandicoot come up with some of the tightest story driven games in history and the people who made prince of persia make this tripe???).

This game and the entire series as a whole does neither of those things. It has the worst of both worlds, it recycles the tired rinse and repeat gameplay and has a lazily written nothing burger of a story. It fails on every level because even returning characters are fucking insufferable.

I mean they keep bringing back Shaun and Rebecca like anyone liked them even as far back as AC2, but we’re supposed to be like torn up when Rebecca gets shot at the end and that sad music is playing. It was beyond cringeworthy, why do they think people like these characters? They’re mildly annoying at best, insanely irritating at worst.

I didn’t have a big problem with how they were introduced in 4, they were almost an easter egg and I thought that was fun. But it’s beyond cheesy in this and I honestly don’t know why they don’t drop the side by side time jumping. It served it’s purpose in the first three games but now it’s just a gimmick they can’t let go of and really should. It doesn’t serve the story at all anymore because they’re never going to do a present day game because they don’t have a replacement for Desmond, so why bother?  Why not just have the games set in that time and drop the animus all together?

It seems like a tradition almost, would any one care if in 4 you didn’t have to come out of the animus and walk around the office and collect post it notes? No because it was pointless, it mattered in the first three games because it was all about the two worlds colliding and the difference between reality and history as a game, a game within a game, now it’s just this tumour on the series, an excess of flesh that just has to be there. You could literally cut out all the present day scenes in this game and it would make no difference.

The problem isn’t that they keep the two timelines running concurrent, the problem is they don’t put any effort into either story but also won’t let the concept go. Either drop the present timeline and focus on the main game or make the present timeline relevant and not just a shitty immersion breaking gimmick.

What do you do with a series that basically peaked on it’s first outing? I mean 4 was nice but all it did was give was give a terminally ill franchise the strength to limp on to even more mediocrity.

The problem I have with these games is similar to star wars, they have no plan. They don’t have one person or one group of persons or a show runner planning their games and stories out so they interlink into these nice weaves of narratives it’s just ‘Hey why don’t we set a game in victorian london?’/’That sounds great I’ll go draw some top hats.’ Narrative is a complete afterthought to costumes and micro transactions.

And moreover the world was flat and boring and it didn’t feel like London it just felt like another AC game and I think a lot of that is all the immersion breaking stuff.

… Now you’re like ‘this is when he’s gonna talk about tranny stuff right?’

I’m not gonna dwell on this too long but yes ubisoft has drank the coolaid seen fit to put a female to male transvestite in victorian england for whatever reason that is obviously a woman dressed like a man but everyone still refers to them as ‘Ned’ and it’s not a joke and no one draws attention to it. But they’re really only in the game twice crucially and after that optional side quests I didn’t bother with when I realised the side quests weren’t necessary to either leveling or the story. I got to level ten and maxed out all my skills just by conquering the boroughs and the main quest so they’re completely superfluous and only give you gear that is beaten out by stuff you get just through the regular quests.

So yeah I just went over two thousands words ranting about a game I didn’t even pay for, now imagine if I paid full price for it on launch.

To conclude, stop giving ubisoft money, just stop. The AC series just needs to be allowed to die. If it was ever good or original that was long ago and now it’s a pale, cynical husk of it’s former self. AC wanted to be the COD of third person games and it got it’s wish.

See you…

Green Sunday Chapter 17 ‘Fatal Hesitation’ (Raw)

Ah dayjob how you get in the way of the things I truly love. Like online gaming… oh yeah and writing and blogging and junk haha.

Ok too tired and out of fucks to give a full update, I’ve mainly been doing innane shit to make paper while I write in my mind in the shower and read on public transport. Other than that I’m proofreading the last chapter of GS while listening to Filthy Frank music. And the editing is coming along, I should have that all out maybe as soon as the end of the year then I’ll probably put it on amazon or something if I can’t find an agent by then to take it on.

As usual you can find the full chapter on inkitt fresh and raw and uncut and all that good stuff.

Fatal Hesitation

“WAIT!”

Sunday, half conscious, her face pressed against a concrete pillow as a giant boot rested it’s weight against her. Applying more pressure a pound at a time and stopping at this rude intervention.

The giant foot came off of Sunday’s pretty face and she lolled lifelessly into the dry gutter. Jeffrey turned theatrically to focus on this voice. Coming to him over the sounds of small fires burbling against a slight breeze, an idyllic scene.

TJ stood, shoulders knotted around his ears. His hands behind his back in the entrance of the multi-plex.

“I got your doll or whatever!”

“Lamby? Gimme!” The hulking sub-human lurched towards TJ, his knuckles dragging along the smooth tarmac. Looming over TJ, his warm breath swirling all around him.

“Err, fetch?” TJ squirmed and then tossed the small plushie into the middle of the street.

“LAMBY!” Jeffrey leaped in the direction of the doll like a giant horny dog.

TJ’s panorama cleared of this giant monstrosity. He had the room and the presence of mind to run to Sunday’s side, like the good white knight he dreamed of parodying. He tripped over his feet and stumbled to a crawl beside her lifeless body.

“Sunday?” He said as he craned his chubby body over her, her portly romeo, maybe a little too late.

“LAAMMMBBBBYYY!” Jeffrey sifted through the debris. He tossed cars and bikes like tissue dispensers. Tossing up concrete chunks the size of dirty Brooklyn pigeons. Until his frantic eyes focused on something fluffy and white. “Lamby! I finally found you. The monsters, they took you away from me.” Jeffrey folded into an almost curtsy as graceful as possible. He pincered it with a giant finger and thumb not unlike the claw grabber machine it just came from.

He picked it up. Childlike glee projected on the grotesque potmarked mountain range that was his face. He floated it in front of his sloped brow turning it gracefully in his monstrous hands. Seeing it in it’s entirety sent a wave of clumsy emotions across the mottled canvas that was his face. Confusion and sadness, taking the express train to rage and desperation. The cogs began to turn with great purpose. As he realised what he was holding in his fingers and thumb was actually a plush snowman. The orange carrot nose and bead smile, a mocking endictment of a viscious ruse.

“This not lamby! Where lamby? WHERE LAMBY?”

~

“Ooh the fack are you?” The pilot said with no hint of incredulity that he was indeed being fucked. His face scrunching up looking like a map of the London underground.

“I’m your new co-pilot.” Carpenter said as he grinned and prodded the pilot in his soft side with the barrel of the assault rifle. “And mind your language, there are children present”.

“What the fack are you talking about mate? I don’t see any kids. This is all in your ‘ead mate, you want to mind yourself, you’re out of your depth ‘ere son. My guvna’ will ave your balls as a wedding present for ‘is missus”

“Start the engine”

“You’re asking for it son.” The pilot said as he started to spin the blades with a beligerance of a teen going to be late to her own sweet sixteen.

“Phweeeep!” An obnoxious whistling cut above the background hum of the engine and the quickening blades overhead.

“See you’re in for it now.” The pilot said as he turned the engine back of with an anti-climatic sigh from both him and the engine.

Carpenter looked over the control panel, peaking out the domed front window. A man in the same tactical gear as him stood statuesque in front of the helicopter. Laura by his side. An uncomfortable smile and a raised brow on her face as the figure raised a shiney pistol to the little girls head. “Drop the gun and step out of the helicopter.” The statue said grinning, reluctantly wearing the mask of the dutiful villain.

Carpenter tossed the rifle out of the helicopter door, landing soft in a bush. He de-choppered one angsty step at a time.

The statue moved around the side of the chopper to meet him. He was just under six foot, average height. He wasn’t wearing a gas mask, just a smirk of indifferent malice.

“My name’s Malcolm, I’m a fan” The man said as he dropped the little girl by his side to raise a hand for shaking. The shiney pistol was a lot larger close up, a chrome desert eagle, very ostinatious. “Go play over there now, there’s a good girl” He said as he shooed Laura with the gun.

Carpenter looked at his hand and looked back at Malcolm.

“It was smart to use the kid, not very chivalrous, but effective. Might be a little played out now” He lowered his hand and raised the gun at hip height. “We’re just going to wait here until the end and then a team can pick you up for nap time, easy.” He smiled like a dentist and tongued his front teeth. “The girl can come too, she’ll be fine, what with her big mean protector, wont she?”

Carpenter grimaced at this guarded insult. The tactical gear also came with a lovely usmc knife which Carpenter was yet to use. But there it was still hanging vertically on the front of his tactical gear. He reached for it slowly, eyes locked with Malcolm.

“Ah now that’s not very smart is it?” Malcolm hardened his face and rattled the gun around like it was getting too heavy for him. “Leave that alone”.

Carpenter eyes didn’t move. His hand possessed, unsheathed the blued knife from it’s molded kydex sheathe.

“Be a good lad an put that down eh.” Malcolm stretched his arm out, the heavy gun jossling in his grip. “We have a large investment in you, don’t make me shoot”.

Carpenter’s arm dropped to his side holding the swathy knife. His feet fluttered dreamily and he floated forward carried by an ill wind.

“I SAID STOP! NOW!” Malcolm squeezed the gun hard and it shook visibly in his grip “I WILL SHOOT YOU!”

Carpenter couldn’t hear him over the sound of his heart beat marching closer to his ears. Beating like the wind against an ancient castle wall. The blade cast no light and no shadow. It whispered promises to him of perfect cuts and no drag, slices of neat flesh falling into place. Enchanting dancing rivulets of blood pirouetting on its head as it hummed a death rattle in D. Torrents of blood beat inside his ears, he could almost hear the music. It was something like how he imagined Wagner. Ride of the Valkyries with a steady staccato drum beating faster and faster until you know it had to stop.

“STOOOPPPP!”

CLICK CLICK!

Malcolm caught Carpenter’s wrist with rattlesnake speed and grip. All the blood drained from his arm as he squeezed and gave him a quick love tap to the temple with the barrel of the eagle. A seering white light and a ringing noise in his ears as Carpenter went down onto the grass, soft and limp.

Malcolm turned to face the Laura as if his hips were that of an action figure with kung fu one hundred and eighty degree turns. She stood with the little gun in her hand clicking furiously trying to find the unspent cylinder.

CLICK CLICK CLICK!

The gun jumped out of her hand with the last clicking, giving off a soft squeaky pop and a brief flash and sizzle.

Malcolm crouched and picked the little gun off the ground.

“I must have missed this.” He tried to open the cyclinder but it was fused shut. He threw it in the dirt and stood back up putting his hands on his knees with an unhealthy clicking sound. “Looks like a misfire, you’re lucky it didn’t take those pretty hands clean off. Looks like both of our lucky days eh?”

“Is the badman dead?”

“No, he’s just sleeping, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’ll take you somewhere safe, the game is almost ov-.”

Malcolm’s breath was caught by a pair dirty hands wrapped around his throat. Dirt under the nails digging into his protuberant adam’s apple.

A wirey grip, thin hands tightening around his throat. An intense urge to kill coiled around his throat and gave zero ground to a hungry lung or a thirsty vein. Malcolm fell to his knees blue lipped, his face turning a shade of mauve. Spittle on his lips sputtering out. The last cubic milliteres of oxygen expelled from his lungs.

His vision went white and spotty. He couldn’t feel his lower extremities but he remembered he had a gun, a big heavy one. He sent a signal to his arms if they were still listening. His hand hovered next to him, dragging the heavy gun to his side. His grip locked onto the handle like an action figure with kung fu grip.

His arm floated up as if carried by a rising tide of water in an airtight phone booth. Carpenter couldn’t hear or see a thing, blood in his eyes. The israeli kiss on the side of his head the desert eagle gave him opened a theatrical wound. It bled hysterically like a wwe wrestler doing an impression of a tampon.

Malcolm lifting the gun up to his head height. Hovering where he imagined the gnarled head of Carpenter sat aloft. His arm jossling like a marionette puppetted by a drunk with low blood sugar. Struggling to keep the gun from plummeting into the ground as it so desperately wanted to do. Drawn magnetically to the earth. It swayed back and forth like a heavy pendulus artificial growth on the end of Malcolm’s arm.

Carpenter’s hand’s just seemed to get tighter and thinner, a wire man come to life to choke the life out of the world. His hands didn’t exhale a millimetre. A bottomless well of loathing self and otherwise driving his muscles like the hands of a clock. Unfeeling cogs clicking into place, murder o’clock.

Malcolm’s index finger tickled the heavy trigger. The shaking of his numb digit squeezing it pound for pound until…

BANG!

~

 

Green Sunday Chapter 2; This Charming man (Edited reupload)

Here it is finally, after much faffing about over the holidays I finally managed to sort this out and get back on track with the editing and continuous writing of this literary monstrosity. I’m already about 40k into it and I see no end in sight, it’s almost beaten my first secret novel which will never be revealed except for exclusive rights to the movie and merchandise haha. I can dream.

 

As always if you liked this chapter or you’re new to the story and want to go back to the start head on over to my inkitt page for the complete story in a neat order and in a format that I’m sure can be read on all manner of magical devices, wiggets and wablets and magic hats and scrolls I’m sure.

Green Sunday Chapter 2

An old TV, sitting on a greasy-looking shelf, played in the background in a local greasy spoon diner on the edge of town. The diner was alive with the sounds of knives and forks sword-fighting; people taking deluxe bites out of reasonably priced burgers, and washing them down with complementary milkshakes.

“The Pudgiwara Corporation today said they were very sorry for dumping the one thousand tonnes of toxic waste in the bay and they said they’d never do it again.” The news anchor furrowed his brow sincerely before moving on to the next segment. “In other local news, a young boy of fourteen was arrested after a prank backfired outside his suburban home. The boy, who is yet to be named for legal reasons, was tricked by his friends into believing that another biological outbreak, similar to that of the one in Arkham, Louisiana, was underway. Police state that the boys school friends wore make-up and ragged clothing and pretended to be the undead. The boy fearing for his life retrieved his 22. Calibre rifle he received for his third birthday and slaughtered them all in his back yard”

“Hahahahahahahahahaha!” Incongruous laughter broke out. It seemed that all the knife and fork sword fights ended abruptly. But the laughter went on regardless as the story played out.

“The fourteen year old boy then, fearing for the fate of his family, went into his suburban home and strangled his entire family to death with a draught excluder”

“Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha!” A dirty hand, topped with dirty, chipped nails, scooped up a clod of hamburger meat from a steel bowl as he laughed.

“What’s going on out here?” A fat sweaty man in an apron, and not a lot else, came out of the back. A confused look on his face, he stood next to a middle-aged redhead waitress with a face like a leather riding saddle.

“Some crazy guy. All he ordered was a bowl of raw hamburger meat. He’s just been sitting there eating it. Then he just started laughing,” the middle-aged woman said, her face wrinkling up in places never before thought possible.

The fat man’s sweat patches grew under his apron. He started to look like he belonged in a sauna or in a tropical plant house as he breathed heavily.

“The boy is currently under observation at Hellspass psychiatric hospital.” The man’s laughter began to run down like the motor of a car sliding into park. A greasy hand touched the arm of his salvation army coat and the slow come-down took a sudden bump.

“Hey, buddy, you’re freakin’ people out. Can ya keep it down? People are trying to eat,” the fat chef said, in an apologetic tone, as he furrowed his brow into painful ‘v’s, which seemed to stretch all over his slippery bald head.

“What’s that?” the man said without turning his head. A chunk of unchewed hamburger meat fell from his mouth onto the semi-clean counter. He turned his bloodshot eyes in his skull.

“I said-”

“I heard what you said.”

“Huh?”

“I just can’t tell what I’m looking at.” He picked his teeth with a dirty nail and sucked his gums, dislodging raw meat.

“Look, buddy, we aint looking for no trouble. I think you better just pick your sorry ass up and leave – right now!”

“Did you make this?” The strange, homeless guy squeezed the hamburger meat in his hands, letting it ooze through his bony fingers. He had shoulder-length mousey brown hair, with a long beard completing the homeless chic. His features were thin and gaunt, dark eyes hidden under heavy lids. He wore a long, olive drab army jacket that went all the way down to his ankles, hiding the fact that he was wearing plastic bags tied with string around his feet instead of shoes. To complete the ensemble: a threadbare shirt and pair of pants that looked like they’d gone missing from an old people’s home washing line. Printed across the front of the jacket was a name written in bold dark green lettering. ‘CARPENTER’.

“What’cha talking about, buddy? That’s raw hamburger meat. Aint nobody ‘made’ it. Drifters like you don’t belong here; it’s time for you to move on now!”

“You know, I used to be just like you”

“Get ou-!” A glob of hamburger meat cut off the chef mid-sentence. The slimy, gelatinous meat by-product got into his eyes and nose. It felt like a fist made of lumpy snot hitting his sinus wall. He felt disorientated, giving the dishevelled man ample time to kick a bar stool. The chef fell forward as the stool hit his shins, tripping him. Carpenter rose like a jack-in-the-box on angel dust from his stool to slam the chef’s dirty face into the counter.

He pressed the chef’s face into the off-colour lime green diner counter, spreading blood and raw meat and spit all over it. The chef strained as he began to get light-headed, his skull pressed against the hard surface.

“You know it’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re eating.” Carpenter squeezed the chef’s head with his forearm against the counter. The veins on the chef’s head stuck out like rail-road tracks, pumping hot kitchen grease. Carpenter took his other hand and ran his finger up from his face taking up some of the hamburger meat. Getting under his nails, he sucked his finger.

He took the pressure off and sat back on his stool like he got up to get the salt. The chef stuck to the counter with blood and sweat and hamburger meat. Peeling off, his unconscious body hit the linoleum floor of the diner like a sack of dried hams. He parted stools and chairs and brows as he fell. The diner fell silent. Food went unchewed in open mouths; coffee cups shook; babies continued crying; the dishevelled man went back to watching the news and laughing.

If you liked what you read of this excerpt, follow the link below to read the rest of the chapter on inkitt.

Cheers.

Green Sunday Chapter 2

First impressions of Fallout 4 (totally not a review)

I’m a little ashamed to say I’m on my second play through. Not because I have no life but because when I got into work, one of my friends told me he was on his fourth and I was dismayed.

I’m gonna try and refrain from fangirling too hard because that makes me sick and it just isn’t me. And this is by far a perfect game but its pretty freaking close.

The game itself didn’t take too long to install and load up although I wished I would have just downloaded it so I could have had my own private mini midnight launch instead of waiting feverishly for the post and deluding myself that it might have come a day earlier like that one time ages ago I may have imagined. Although obviously I fucked it up and had to reinstall it because I let it download the update mid installation so it was all installing from the net and I couldn’t see the entire loading bar which drove me nuts so I had to reinstall for sanities sake.

But when it was finally loaded, I started and found myself oddly gripped by the opening live action cinematic and then created my character of which I based on David Morrissey’s depiction of the Governor from Walking Dead. And before you jump down my throat calling me a philistine for using that version and not the fu manchu moustachioed comic and novel version (all of which I’ve read exhaustively, except the latest novel I think), I say fuck you David Morrissey is better looking, face it.
I think his face and his depiction of the Governor is also a lot more rounded and likeable and I was actually sad to see the show stick with the comic storyline and his death, when they went off the rails mid season and used the books a little I thought he might have been remodelled into an ongoing character and that would have been more interesting than just sticking to the source material with a few deviations.
I think his character was perfect for the character displayed by the voice actor for the male protagonist in fallout 3 Brian Delaney. I was initially sceptical about the voiced protagonist as the previous games had silent protagonists and voiced protagonists in rpgs like mass effect can get a little annoying and break immersion slightly because it feels less like you are the main character and more like you’re watching the main character do stuff.
But I have to say it really sold the immersion and the emotion at the start of the game, the game didn’t kid me and expect me to care about the main characters wife or kid (like in fallout 3 where you’re supposed to care about your fictional dad played by Liam Neeson) but I was very aware purely through the voice actor’s acting that the main character did care about his wife and child and that sort of sold the emotion of the game.
And when the ‘event’ happens, I really felt like someone who had been tossed into this hostile landscape, whose home and everything he’s known had been destroyed and had to sleep on the floor of truck stops office while it rained and radiation clouds blew through with only a dog to keep him company. It really felt morose and beautiful and that you had to live another day to get revenge and to rebuild a life for yourself and make something beautiful out of all the ugliness that surrounded you and I really loved it.
Despite that, I was proved right about the downsides of the voiced protagonists, mainly and I see a lot of chatter about this, it’s almost impossible to be evil.
Now I suppose you could just kill everyone but its hardly enslaving people and eating babies a la Fallout 3 is it. And the evil dialogue options just sound angsty and mean in Brian’s voice, he just seems too nice a guy to do all that fucked up shit. So twinned with my David Morrissey Governor smooth talking gunslinger character, he came off less monstrously evil and more misunderstood monster. Less Count Dracula more Frankenstein’s monster.
And to be honest I really dug that, good and evil are so subjective so losing the karma system and making good and evil more ambiguous seemed like a step in the right direction. If anything the karma system just evolved into the companion approval system, so depending on which character you pick to come with you, determines what you want to say or do to impress them. But again not one companion is Hannibal fucking lector, where would be the practicality of that? Every character, evil, cruel, vindictive or not has to be in some way likeable or redeemable so that you enjoy their character and want to follow their progression and I think Bethesda delivers on that well.
The factions are also really interesting and have their own sort of style; on my first play through I sided with the minutemen and set about uniting the settlements of the commonwealth, basically creating a people’s army. I don’t know what it is about this game that’s different from elder scrolls, in Skyrim and Oblivion I really didn’t see a problem with joining the mages guild and using the magic I learned for a little bit of thieving on the side. Or joining the fighter’s guild and then turning those talents to assassination, but in F4 the factions are a little more involved, a little more compelling. I couldn’t swear allegiance to the minutemen and then swear an oath of service to the Brotherhood of steel, it really feels like you’re either one or other and each faction is heavily tied into the main plot of the game unlike in Elder scrolls where each faction is its own quest line in a way. I can’t say which I like more to be honest; I think they both have merit.
The game play is great, the exploration (which is always the crux of rpgs like this) is top notch, the anal crafting is minecraft levels of addictive, I literally had to pull myself away from it just to actually play the game main game it’s so intoxicatingly addictive.
I think they really nailed the levelling and perk system too; it’s perfect for someone like me that likes to create a lot of distinct characters and loathes everyman grinders who spend ages making a character that’s good at literally everything. I’m sitting her playing my talker, small guns character and I can’t wait to start a big guns character who swings bats at people, now I’m playing that character and I can’t wait to play my slashy stealthy character who uses silenced weapons and crafts his own explosive traps.
But the game as a lot of people have said; is not really an rpg, the dialogue wheel is a little stunted and the voice actor does make it seem like you’re further away from the actions than you’d like.
Overall, I’m enthralled by it, I want to get lost in it, I almost feel like I rush it just to try and absorb everything I can get, I want to experience everything and I can’t wait for dlc.

 

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